With the dursleys
by fireheart12
Summary: No one would pay attention to the scars and bruises on Harry's body becuase no one wanted to believe that their said boy who lived had indeed become a victim of abuse at privet drive. after ootp. sirius is alive. abused harry
1. ignoring to an extent

**Hey everyone, I'm back and trying my hand at a Harry potter fic .I appreciate criticism, but not people flat out telling me they hate it, ya get the point? A quick warning before you start,** **I've never** **really wrote anything like this so sorry if it turns out bad. Anyway enough of me blabbing on and on lets get to the writing.**

**Thoughts: **_**italic**_

**disclaimer: i don't own harry potter... if i did sirius and everyone else would be alive. but at least we have fanfiction. :)**

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It can be amazing how the people you want to notice something the most almost never do. Just like how amazing it was that nobody noticed how thin Harry always happened to be. Or how Dumbledore never even cared to know why he had to address Harry's first Hogwarts letter to a cupboard. never gave a second to think over why Harry might have to be living in a barred room with no food. No one would have ever thought that his or her said golden boy, the seeker, the chosen one, and the boy who lived had indeed become a victim.

A change however had came Harry's way almost three years ago now. It was not that big of a change and at first Harry had thought it did not really matter at all. It did however mean a lot to him now. And that change was a certain godfather by the name of Sirius Black. Sirius was the only one who had gave him the thought of ever getting to have a proper family. Only Sirius ever gave him the idea that he could have a summer away from the abusive dursleys. Even though it did never have the chance to happen so far.

Yes, Sirius was alive and didn't die as every one had thought he would have that cruel night in the department of mysteries. For a minute there, Harry had thought that Sirius would too. But it was a good thing that Harry had grown up being a fast thinker.

The seeker had seen bellatrix pointing her wand at Sirius when he wasn't looking. So he jumped as quickly as he could and knocked Sirius to the ground once her spell had been fired. Leaving it to hit the veil and go though but leaving Sirius unharmed.

Harry was so enraged that she would even think of killing his only family left so he chased after her. Harry didn't even take his chance to look back and see if Sirius was all right. He just ran and ran until she stopped and it ended up she had lead him straight to Voldemorts grasp. In all the buzz of Harry's duel in his mind with he who should not be named and him hearing the prophecy, he never got the chance to see Sirius after that night.

Which landed right in the spot he was now. Alone in his Hogwarts dorm room packing by himself in the cold silence while everyone else he knew were at the end of the year great feast. Harry really didn't think he had the energy to eat right now, he did not even now how he was standing up to pack. For you see he had been at bit down lately. The boy who lived had sent Sirius Black, his godfather, letter after letter with Hedwig and many other owls that were available. But no of them were answered, sometimes Harry's letter would be returned to him not even looking like it was looked at properly. Other times Harry would get Hedwig back with no letter at all and since Sirius had gave him a promise to give him a different home…. Well Harry was purely confused.

It had always been a fear to Harry in the back of his mind. That one day Sirius would look at him or think of him and say "you're far more trouble than your worth". And Harry was very depressed in the thought that that day had finally come. He had never really talked to anyone about what went on when he stayed the summer at number four privet drive. He guessed that it was all because some of the wizarding world had come to look up to him and the other half had come to think anything he talked about was complete rubbish now and days. But with Sirius he thought that maybe he finally could open up a bit. He had thought he found someone who didn't just see his scar or James when they looked at him. Right now though in the deathly silence Harry was beginning to hope that it was actually true.

Therefore, that was that Harry had decided that he would send his last letter tonight and he would finally beg Sirius to tell him what he did wrong. That's all he really wanted was a reason, something to tell him why his godfather was avoiding him to such an extent. Was it because Sirius had finally realized Harry only looked like James?

Once he got his first letter returned untouched Harry potter had jumped to the conclusion that Sirius was being his usual over reacting self and was simply mad at Harry for either not leaving the battle as instructed or going in the first place. But as more and more of the letters were returned Harry had gotten worried.

It was not as if Harry had not tried contacting Sirius in other ways, he had opened the mirror package but Sirius never answered. Harry had even tried sending a letter to Remus to see if Sirius was staying with him. Nevertheless, before he could Dumbledore had told him to get some rest for now and demanded him not to contact the werewolf, making his second plan waste away. For a while Harry had came to his worst conclusion yet. That Sirius had been taken by death eaters or was back an Azkaban and had been given the kiss. That the fight had gotten him back into trouble. So he went and asked Dumbledore to visit grimmuald place. Just so he could see if Sirius was alive and well. Once he had explained his reasons the headmaster had firmly said no and told harry Sirius was all right and alive. The one thing though that bugged Harry most of all was that Dumbledore would not tell him how he knew.

_It is what I deserve right? To at least now why Sirius began to act like aunt petunia._He thought to himself as he finally finished and sat himself down on his bed.

Eventually all his male friends in his dorm would return to get what they had to bring home. Moreover, chances were Seamus, Dean, Ron, or Neville would try to get him to talk again.

In a way, Harry had become jealous of them all. They all had great loving families to go home to. All Harry had was a godfather and an aunt and uncle that didn't want anything to do with him.

Of course, Harry knew he should be fortunate that his godfather was only acting like aunt petunia. You see Sirius and her both ignored harry all they could. However, the chosen one was very happy that Sirius hadn't become like uncle Vernon and taken to abusing him in every way but sexually.

Harry knew he couldn't take it if his abuse slipped into the wizarding world. Or more importantly slipped out to Sirius or Remus. Because apparently they already had enough of a reason to avoid him. And he refused to be thought of as weak or a charity case just because he was to scared to stand up to a muggle.


	2. talking in the dorm

Hermione may be a bit ooc to some

Thoughts: italic

Talking: "."

Yes, it was just as he suspected that after at least several moments to himself someone opened the door to his room. However, not whom he thought it would be.

"Harry you've got to stop blaming yourself it's just unnatural."

He got up and turned around to see not Dean, Ron or any of his other guy friends but Hermione.

"Mione! What are you doing here? This is the boy's tower."

"Oh shut up." she said playfully as she walked over and jumped down on his bed. "It's the end of the year, it's not like flinch is going to walk in this very minute and give you a detention."

With a sigh, he plopped back down next to her. "Ok fine your right, if he could then you would be going frantic right now."

"There is nothing wrong with not wanted to get a detention Harry, we can't all be like you and just disregard the rules." she said in a defensive tone, but you could tell she was trying hard not to laugh.

What she did not except to see was Harry's face all of a sudden dropping it is smile and for him to look down at his feet.

"Harry what's wrong? Usually you laugh at the fact that you get into so much trouble."

"It's just that… I think I may have taken it a little too far this year."

"Harry…" Hermione said gently, she was looking very worried.

But he cut her off before she could even finish. It was as if a dam had all of a sudden broken form him being quiet for so long. No, it was not as he was sobbing his bloody eyes out but he was very angry and upset.

"I'm just so confused!" he said as he turned to look at her. "One second Sirius is telling me to go for it and that since it didn't I was less like my father, and the next he makes me go to the conclusion that because I did go he's mad."

'Harry I'm sure that Sirius has a perfectly normal reason for not responding to you."

"Oh yeah of course." the sarcasm was clear in his voice.

"Hey, listen to me for once. I was there at grimmuald place when you weren't, I saw the way his eyes lit up when someone mentioned a prank you did or just you in general."

But Harry wouldn't believe it he just rolled his eyes and responded. "Mione that was then, this is now what if he realized I'm actually really not my father?"

This sentence caused the bookworms eyes to widen. "Harry don't you dare say that, the one thing Sirius loved the most about you is that you weren't like everyone else. You didn't think that he was only by your side because you looked like your father."

"But what if he was Hermione, the last thing he said to me was that I was less like my father than he thought."

"Harry he must have been just upset it's not like he actually meant it."

"If he actually answered my letters for once I could now if he did or not." with that said he got up and began to pace around the room.

Hermione was about to get up too and walk with him. When the silence was broke by Seamus and Ron walking in the room. They both shared a confused look when they saw Harry pacing back and forth. Clearly, they didn't see Hermione currently sitting on his bed.

"Harry mate has your mind finally come undone about whatever was bothering you?" Seamus asked as he stood by the heater.

"No Seamus, Harry's just trying to deduce something." Hermione responded sitting up from where on Harry's bed she was.

"Mione!" Ron gasped desperately as he clutched his chest.

You see that the ginger head guy had begun unbuttoning the white-collar shirt of his school uniform.

Hermione just rolled her eyes at his humorous behavior as Seamus hopped down on his bed and kicked his feet up.

"Merlin Ron it's not like you have anything to hide." he said with a short laugh. As he began to take off his tie.

Ron's turned as red as his hair. When all of a sudden a laugh was heard from the other side of the dorm. Dean and Neville had finally made it back from the feast.

"I'm guessing we came in at a bad time?" Dean asked as he looked from Harry and Seamus to Ron and Hermione.

Harry let out a long breath and sat down on the alcove and looking out the window. Ron raised an eyebrow and looked over to Hermione who shrugged.

She came over and sat by the hero's side. Cautiously she put a hand down on his shoulder.

"Harry go and get some sleep alright. We'll talk on the train in the morning."

Without another word Harry nodded and went over to his bed and settled in. the bookworm gave a signal apologetic glance at the boys and left as they all got ready for sleep to come.

If only they knew Harry wasn't actually asleep, you see he was to worried for what would come this summer when his uncle found out harry had no godfather to come after him if harry got hurt. Oh, this was going to be chaos.


	3. the calm before the storm

**Disclaimer: no I don't own, never did never will sadly… so before I start sobbing let's move on.**

"Harry come on mate you're going to miss the train if you don't …get…up." The boy who lived promptly became aware that Neville was standing over him and shaking him roughly by the shoulder. It took all Harry had not to flinch away. He had learned from uncle Vernon that if someone shook you that hard for anything, bad things would happen in the future.

Shaking his head lightly he racked his hand through his unruly raven hair and moved up slightly on his elbows and grabbed his glasses on the nightstand next to his bed. He didn't even remember falling asleep at all. He had tried all night to stay awake so that yesterday wouldn't end. Harry didn't want to wake up the next morning and be filled with dread of what would come over the summer. He wished he could do what he usually did over the holidays. To just stay at the castle called Hogwarts or maybe even join Ron and stay with the Weasleys like he had once or twice.

Harry knew that three weeks before the summer was done that he would more than likely be at his best mate's house anyway. However, no one knew how much damage the durselys could cause in those two months they had with him.

Once his glasses were located firmly on his face he looked up only to get a face full of Neville. "Oh good your up come on I told everyone that I would wake you up Harry but Merlin, your worse than my gran to get up I swear."

Harry gave his friend an amused look; it was the only happy look he had given anyone in these last horrible days.

"I'm up I'm up, don't worry Neville, how long do I have till the train leaves?"

Neville looked up from his trunk he was going to drag away. "You've got two hours to get ready and on the train."

"Cool see you then." Harry said back in his monotone voice as Neville picked up his school trunk and drug it out of the room.

With a sigh, Harry used most of his strength to get up and put on his uniform. It was no use trying to fit into his muggle clothes for the ride home. He had forgotten his belt in Dudley's second bedroom and without it; the clothes wouldn't fit on him, mostly because his cousin was the size of a baby elephant.

It never did accrue to Ron or any of the golden boy's friends that when they saw Harry's bruises on his arms or chest whenever he changed, that his uncle who was a muggle could have caused them. The poor boy had made tons of enemies in the wizarding world and most of them were death eaters or insane murders who wanted him dead. Therefore, they all assumed he could have gotten himself banged up in a fight with Malfoy or in that years adventure.

After he was ready, he took a moment to sit back down on his bed and enjoy the silence. Harry loved moments like this. When everything was peaceful before something bad happened. The silence and aloneness was like the calm before the storm to him. Yes, he did love having his friends around they were great to him. Nevertheless, when you know something bad is going to happen its nice having a few minutes of your own. In a way, it was as if Harry was sorting out his own personal game plan in the time he had left to go to his demise. He would try his best to stay out of everyone's way and he would work harder than he ever had before one, in his chores and two, in hiding the wizarding world away from his uncle. No one would want the durselys to get wind of Harry being alone again.

He chuckled lightly to himself and almost started laughing in hysteria. He could not believe that he had just thought he wanted time to himself and aloneness. When he had been begging for attention from his godfather almost all the time these last days at Hogwarts.

Harry snapped up as he realized that he hadn't sent his last letter to Sirius yet. He had written it while he tried hard not to fall asleep last night. It wasn't that good to him but could you really believe that it would be? The seeker had written it when he was half-dead on his feet. He was in no state to be writing a pleading letter last night. Still he did because it was the only time he knew he would have and hopefully it was the letter Sirius or even Remus would responded to. Harry couldn't even care right now if they only wrote back to him to tell him they didn't want anything to do with him anymore. At least then, they would have told him that he shouldn't have hope. Then he could go back to knowing he was on his own with no promise of a proper family. Even though one had been offered only last month. However, oh well he guessed that's how things were just meant to go in his life. Beside Hermione and Ron people, more correctly adults were only on his side for a short time. When the time was over then they would start hiding things from him or become distant. If Sirius responded that, he never wanted to see Harry again well that would not be a first for him from someone he cared so deeply about.

It was a good thing that Hedwig was sitting in the alcove that he had used last night. In a matter of minutes Harry had the letter wrapped around her leg and the window open.

"Go and deliver this to Sirius girl and this time make sure he reads it ok?"

As if to tell him she understood she hooted softly and pecked lovingly at one of his fingers on his right hand. And with that she flew off leaving Harry to shut the window and sit there and watch her fly till she had become nothing but a white dot in the open blue sky.

An immediate soft knock on the door caused him to get up and turn around as he had for Hermione last night. But it wasn't her trying to get his attention; it was his other best friend Ronald Weasley.

"Hey Harry mate... Are you um going to come down and talk with the rest of us anytime soon?"

Once it left his mouth, he must have realized how stupid it sounded out in the open because his face was once again was matching his hair.

Harry gave a small smile and looked towards the floor. "Do you all really want me down there?"

It seemed that the more than awkward sentence was not what was troubling him as much as it was Ron.

The boy who lived friend raised his eyebrows and leaned against the doorframe with his hands finding themselves in his jeans pockets.

"What in the bloody hell do you mean by that?" Ron questioned, of course he would want Harry there to talk to, and he was his best mate.

"Well it just seems that these last bloody days I've been walking around with my own personal Dementor or Boggart over my head."

"Oh come on man I've known you for five years so far, I know that before you get better or decide to act on something you seem to cause yourself to go into a terrible depression."

It was Harry's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Thanks Ron you really know how to cheer a guy up." the sarcasm was once again in his voice clearly.

Ron smacked himself in the forehead with the heel of his hand. He then made his way over to his friend and sat down on his bed, where Harry followed in suit.

"That Harry is why I leave the cheering up and working through your problems to Mione. She can handle that stuff being the girl that she is and I'll just be your normal guy friend and stick around to be loyal to you, help you get girls, and play Quidditch with."

"Sorry Ron I know I can be kind of hard to deal with at times, no wonder you'd want to leave my problems to Hermione and wait in till you got your best friend back." he put his head in his hands as he finished talking.

With a sigh, Ron continued he knew that his friend did not mean to hint at him that he was a bad friend in that sentence or to put all the blame on himself about why Ron couldn't help Harry work through his many problems. It was just that he was extremely upset and with no Hermione to be found, he was going to have to try his own hand at this cheering up and talking it out business.

"Oh come on man you really can't believe that Sirius doesn't care about you can you? You know you weren't the one he kept up all night asking you to tell stories about the trouble we all got into. You weren't the one that got questioned about things that you Harry are into almost every second of every day."

"Ron it's like I said before to Hermione that was then he could have changed his mind once he got to know a side of me he didn't like."

"Fine then do you want me to come up with something that no one else has possibly said to you yet?"

Ron got up and offered his hand to Harry who took it. Once they were both on their feet and walking in the hall and out the common room, Harry agreed that he wanted to hear what Ron had to say.

"Ok then let's try this, Harry Sirius doesn't deserve you if he keeps treating you like this."

He took one glance over at his friend with glasses and saw the smirk currently on his face. Ok so what he said wasn't working through his problems with Sirius but if it cheered Harry up a bit then why not continue then?

"No, then what about you can get such a better godfather that Sirius Black." he said next.

That was all it took before Harry broke down into the hysterics that were threatening to come before. Ron couldn't help but laugh aloud too as they walked into the great hall and sat down next to Hermione and the others.

"What? You said say something no one said to you before and I'm pretty sure that hasn't been said."

"No it's not that Ron it's just that you're making him sound like an ex-girlfriend or something close to it."

Harry couldn't really name why but he kept the smile on his face as he looked over the food and at his many friends. Maybe Ron was better at cheering people up than both of them had thought. Or maybe he was just happy that he had a few moments with people that wanted him around before it all went sour. Who knew what had happened to him but whatever did it sure had worked for now.

Hermione smiled, as she looked from the newly smiling Harry to her other friend Ron. She knew that if she sent Ron upstairs to collect Harry that things would either end up being really awkward between the two or it would cheer Harry up. And boy was she ever glad things worked out in her favor on this. Ron had a tendency to make things a little worse if Harry was down.

She looked at Ron and caught his attention without words so she wouldn't distract Harry from the conversation he was currently having with Seamus.

Quietly she mouthed, "What did you do?" To Ron on the other side of the table. But all he did was shrug and smile, it was his own way of telling her things just went his way up there. Because he had to admit he was a little afraid that Harry would take offense to what he said up in their room.

Things continued on like that till they all boarded the train together. It was as if Harry had thought before; it was the calm before the storm. It was the quiet before all the hell would break out at the durselys. Too bad Harry had no idea what would lay ahead in his future this summer. But who knew maybe things would have to be worse before they got better for him.


	4. it all went black

**Thank you for all the reviewed this chapter is dedicated to you guys.**

So this was it… This was what Harry had been dreading. No, he was not at the durselys yet but it was pretty darn close. Right now, he was sitting in the train all by himself. He had told Hermione, Ron, and Neville who were sitting with him that he would be out in a second and that they should go on without him for now. He had said that he would see them in a few seconds but that had been nearly five minutes ago and yet his legs would not move.

Sooner more than later, he knew that someone who he told that too would come looking for him and be asking what took so long. Still he couldn't use his strength to get up, that would be like a limping chicken freely walking into a lion's den as it limped onward. Moreover, for once Harry wasn't going to do something so stupid such as leaving with the durselys to prove something to the world. By his watch, he had done enough stupid things because he walked straight into something this last year.

"Harry you going to come out of there? You're exactly where we left you and I saw your ride they look sort of mad," Ron said as he poked his head back in the compartment.

Once again, there it was like clockwork just as he had excepted to happen. One of his friends went looking for him after not seeing him come off the Hogwarts express. Oh well there was no chance of hiding left and even if there was he wouldn't take it. Because eventually Harry would have to get off the train anyway and it was better being sooner. Mostly because Ron had just told him, his ride looked angry. And if there's one thing, you don't want it's an angry Vernon to go home with.

He sighed once before getting back up on his feet and grabbing his bags. "Yeah Ron I'm coming hold on a sec I'll walk out with you." He turned around and pretended to look through his bag and make sure he had everything.

When in reality he was taking deep breathes to calm himself down a little. But what really had him freaked out was the fact that he had to do something like that. He had just been in a huge battle with the one evil wizard the world feared the most. He had made it past umbridge's detentions with her blood quills and he had fought dementors in surrey before he was even back at school. So why was he so scared of a mangy overweight muggle?

Of course, this topic had come up once or twice in his mind and he had many answers to it too.

Some were that it was because he couldn't use magic as he could in the wizarding world. Others where that he didn't fight back because he would end up doing some accidental magic and he would get himself kicked out of Hogwarts. Then there was the all-famous one that it was because he didn't have any of his friends there. Usually when something bad happened at Hogwarts, he had a teacher or one of his friends to run to who would find a way to help him out. But out there, all the way in privet drive was too far a place to run to get help from any of his friends. And surely, if he did Dumbledore would have him sent right back to that hell. I mean after all wasn't it his idea to put Harry there in the first place?

That idea of running away was the scariest one of all. Because if it did go the way he thought it would then he would get sent back and if he did then Merlin only knows what uncle Vernon would do to him because he left.

So by bearing up his courage, Harry looked back at Ron, who still happened to be waiting there for him and he set of with his trunk.

It was a good thing that Ron didn't notice Harry's hands slightly shaking because if he did Harry would have no answer for him, just because he had no idea himself. Usually he didn't get this shook up when he went back to his aunt's house. So why did this one visit back have him so alarmed and on edge?

Well he already knew the answer to that too and it was because of no other than Sirius. Harry had guessed that these summers didn't scare him that much anymore back then. Because back then Harry knew that Sirius wanted him and was working on getting himself, free. Now… well now he had no idea what to think.

There was no Sirius, there was no escape route and there was no guarantee that his uncle couldn't touch him out of fear about his godfather. It was like him playing poker with the fates and Harry had just been dealt the worst had he could ever get.

He did however notice that Ron was looking at him oddly out of the corner of his eye. Maybe he was giving something away on his face.

"Mate are you alright you look a little pale?"

There it was, Harry was right he had forgot to cover up was the way he looked on the outside. He was working so hard on the inside to cover up what he was thinking that he didn't even care about how worried he was looking in his facial expressions. Oh, well no point in hiding them now.

"Yeah Ron I'm fine, I just think Seamus is right and I'm letting this Sirius thing get into my head."

"Oh, don't worry that much about it man, Sirius loves you we all could tell."

For once, the boy who lived didn't have a comeback to what Ron said. And he wouldn't until he found out if what his friend says was true.

There was one more thing that was bothering him and this time it wasn't about Sirius becoming distant or about going home to his uncle. It was about whether or not Sirius loved him and if he loved him back. You see Harry had never had anyone tell them they loved him and to be quite truthful harry had never told anyone he loved them.

But if someone loved you they wouldn't just get up and leave you would they? However, he had no time to think about it now because dead ahead was the durselys family. And boy was Ron as right as ever they did look mad, furious actually. But that was understandable I mean Harry did send Dudley to the hospital because he attracted the dementors to the park that night.

Luck just wouldn't go his way no matter what it would. Harry just always had to pick the short end of the stick didn't he? In some case though that was ok, because Harry could usually make it past any situation thrown towards him. It was just that these last few days Harry had been so worn down that he didn't want to deal with it.

He only wanted to go home and lay down for a while until he was ready to get back up on his feet. But Merlin knew that while he was at the durselys that was never going to happen. Harry wasn't even sure if he was going to get any rest, he was sure that his uncle and aunt would have his summer filled up with useless chores. Things that never really needed to be done but amused his uncle to watch him do.

Usually his workload was things like painting the fence twice in once week. Or walking all the way down to a certain store to get Dudley a certain kind of food that had no fat in it.

Of course, though Harry rather liked having Dudley on a diet even though it meant so much more work for him. He cooked all of the meals in that house and he had to admit that it was difficult at times and it was much more strain on him to cook it to his aunt's perfection. Nevertheless, he still did it because of Dudley's disgusted face when he ate it.

When Dudley pulled that face, Harry knew that he was not the only person suffering through that dinner.

"BOY! Come on then we have to have a little talk when we get home." Vernon shouted in a more than mad voice.

Ron's eyebrows rose a little at the sound and harshness of Harry's uncles voice but he didn't say anything. Harry just shook his head and looked back at Ron to say his goodbyes.

"I'll see you next year mate ok, feel free to send me an owl anytime though Merlin knows I'll be bored."

Wow had he ever gotten good at lying about his home life, he knew he was certainly making a mistake. By telling Ron to send an owl he knew that one would come at least twice a week and his uncle hated those birds. He had even threatened to shoot Hedwig last year because she was hooting to loud.

"Are you sure you want to leave with him mate he seems kind of mad?" Ron just had to question before he left. Secretly he hoped Harry would say no so that he could spend the summer with him at the burrow.

But it seemed luck was also pulling Ron a bad hand because Harry once again stupidly said no. the chosen one didn't want to put Ron and his family in more danger than they already were without him there. And with dementors coming to surrey, who knew what could happen at the burrow.

"Well then I'll see you at the end of summer, I'm just an owl away if you need me." Ronald gave Harry one final friendly pat on the back after harry nodded and he walked off to see his family who were calling him from the other side of the station.

Harry was happy they only waved because right now he certainly didn't feel like talking to anyone or saying goodbye again. It hurt too much to know he was letting go of everything that was keeping him safe. So it was a good thing that harry said goodbye to everyone else on the train ride.

"God dam mitt boy are you just going to stand there! I said we had to talk when we all were home." his uncle practically spat out the word talk. Making harry dread going to the so-called home even more, he knew that talking wasn't what it was hinted to be.

Talking was going to be a beating and harry knew that very well.

His uncle would usually throw him back in the cupboard after his beating and say he was glad they had that nice talk.

Harry always used his mind and guessed that by saying they were just talking he felt better about hitting a child so small as Harry. Either that or it was a way to confuse harry when he was little and to tell him that by beating him they were just talking. But it wasn't like Harry wanted to think it all over now. Because now was the real time he was dreading.

He was alone in the car with the durselys and pretty soon, he would be on the floor beaten by his uncle.

He scooted over closer to the door so he didn't have to be closer to Dudley, who was giving him a death glare. It had Harry guessing that he didn't forget harry calling him a pig last year or harry getting him caught in the middle of the dementors attack.

Harry did not pay it much mind though, at least now Dudley had a reason to hate and hit him. So as Dudley cracked his knuckles Harry knew that after his uncle had his way with him then Dudley would want to play a little game he called Harry hunting. But harry didn't even know if he would have enough strength to run away and hid from his cousin.

Reluctantly Harry moved out of the car, let his so-called family walk ahead of him, and go inside. He ignored his uncle callings all the way, as he walked with his trunk all the way up the stairs to his room.

"Oh no you don't stupid boy, my little dud-dims needs his second room." his aunt petunia said to him. "So you're going back to your cupboard."

"But aunt petunia there's no way that my trunk Hedwig and I will all fit in that cupboard, I haven't even been in there since I was eleven."

"Freak don't you dare talk back to your aunt! Bring your things up to the second bedroom and set them in there then come down and make us dinner." uncle Vernon demanded.

So once again, Harry didn't have a comeback so he walked himself up stairs and drug his trunk into his old bedroom. He took a deep breath and sat on his used to be bed to calm him. It was no use to him to come home with an already mad Vernon and make him madder. Even if it was humorous to see his uncle turn purple in the face in rage.

He suddenly became very curious as to where Hedwig was. She had left that morning with his letter and he desperately hoped she would return soon.

Hedwig was his only comfort here in this hell hole, she was the only one he had to talk to. The only one how didn't ignore or hit him when he was here and that was comforting. Maybe it was the way she looked at him with her big cute eyes or maybe it was the way she showed him love by nipping his fingers. Whatever it was it made his heart go to ease once he saw her and that didn't happen often for him over the summer.

As if on cue he heard a rattling on the window. Surprisingly he looked up to see the windows we not barred like they were when he left. But then again this was no longer his room so his uncle probably didn't feel like putting up all the security for nothing.

He turned his attention back to the rattling noise to find Hedwig. She was tapping lightly on the glass with her tiny claw. Almost as if she knew, she had to be quiet. It was more likely that she did because she could probably hear uncle Vernon scream all those times for him to be quiet.

But it wasn't her use of prior knowledge that got Harry's heart thumping loudly. It was the fact that she had a piece of parchment on her foot that she was knocking with. At first, he thought it was his own, after so many times of him getting his own letter back he got used to the disappointment. But something was different this time; the paper he had used was a bright white, like all the parchment used at Hogwarts. But the one on her leg was a light brown color. This was defiantly not his own letter back to him, could it be that he finally got a response?

Clearly almost leaping for joy Harry got up quickly and moved over to the window. But it was not quick enough, before he knew it his world was spinning and he couldn't tell where anything was. The world looked like it did when his glasses were off. But as he knew he never took them off, he knew they were still set firmly on his nose.

All he heard was Hedwig's hooting and a thud as he hit the ground, before everything all together went black.


	5. when you pass out

Normally when you wake up in a place that you don't remember passing out in you'd have yourself a mini panic attack. The symptoms are your heart beating fast, sweating, shaking on both inside and out, and more. However, Harry knew he was not having or going to have one, for he had had many panic attacks and he had woken up where he did not fall many times before. In fact it was nothing new to him, it might even be turning into a habit. For Harry to go from one horrible situation to the next while he was unconscious.

Usually when he was smaller his uncle would give him his beating and then drag him by the arm or leg into the cupboard his slept in, not for any of Harry's benefit but for the durselys own. His aunt would constantly yell that he was getting blood on the carpet or Harry being a lump on the ground was ruining all the beautiful décor of her whale like son's photos. Harry didn't really mind though, when his uncle did drag him he would most likely be unconscious.

But what was irking Harry was not the fact that he was laying where he shouldn't be. Because he knew that he wasn't supposed to be just lying by the cupboards door knocked out while his so called-family ate. But it was that he passed out in the first place, Harry had never been fond of passing out. He didn't even know why he did fall unconscious, but he was guessing that it was because he hadn't eaten any sort of food beside water and bread for two and a half days.

Who could blame him though, when you're depressed you really don't feel like doing anything at all, that includes eating. He was just glad Hermione didn't find out because of she did he would be in for a lecture from the witch for sure. If she reacted so badly to him not eating when he had a Quidditch game then he knew she would go over the moon in worry about him, if she had found out that he was not eating that is.

Now however he had to get back to the matter at hand, how in the hell did he end up all the way downstairs on the ground of the small hallway? For that, he had to guess it was his uncles or Dudley's doing, or both together. Judging by the collogue of bruises on his torso, legs, and shoulders he could guess they had a little fun with the rag doll Harry before dragging him down stairs. Harry had no doubt that they let his head hit every step because he had the worst headache imaginable.

He would deal with all of those later though, even the bleeding ones. Because there were quite a few of those nasty ones. So while trying to be a casual as you can with a bleeding body and a bad limp while holding your head, Harry walked into the kitchen. All the while reminding himself not to flinch or act as if he was in any pain. He refused to give his uncle or disgusting cousin joy over bringing him pain. That nevertheless was proving to be impossible, for he hurt all over. Especially in his chest, that though was understandable because there was the most bleeding through his shirt in that place.

Later he would also have to check out everything was ok. He always did that in the summers before he could relax. The procedure would be Harry going up to his room or cupboard and taking off the bleeding clothes he would then look himself up and down to survey the damage. If it was serious he would usually always carry some bandages under the floor boards, when they were there none of the durselys would be able to find out he had knicked them from the bathroom while he cleaned it.

That's where he had the tape when he was eleven; he used all the roll to fix up his glasses and then hid it again. He having to use the tape in the first place had been curtsey of his cousin, who had punched him so hard that it, cracked the middle of the his glasses in half. Hermione though had fixed that straight away with her gift with spells.

"So you've finally decided to wake from your peaceful little nap have you freak?" his uncle taunted.

All Harry could do was nodded while he stood before the dinner table, the was currently seating his cousin, uncle and aunt. He knew that if he said anything it would have been a comment on how no rest was peaceful in this retched house but that would only ebb his uncle on more. And right now, he wanted nothing more than for all this trouble to stop. Though it was impossibly hard for him being Harry potter and all, trouble just seemed to travel behind him every day.

"Since you missed out on making dinner for my honorable son and pet you have to be punished." again all harry could do was nod vigorously.

"Oh Vernon dear let us enjoy our meal you can go after him after it, I desperately want to hear about your day." his horse like aunt commented. Never before had Harry been so happy to hear what his aunt petunia had to say.

"Fine then pet." Vernon said in a sugar sweet tone, before it turned harsh as he looked directly at his nephew. "You are to go upstairs and clean the pool of blood you left on Dudley's second bedroom's floor, once you are done wait in the cupboard for me to get you."

Harry didn't even respond he just looked down and turned away to walk out of the room. When suddenly he was hit with something that felt like a carrot in the back of his head. He turned around practically fuming from the mouth. Knowing that it had been done by his cousin, had it been his uncle it would have been his shoe or fist.

Before he could even shout a comment back, he looked over Dudley's shoulder to see his uncle Vernon staring evilly at him. Almost as if he was daring him to do, something about the way his "honorable son" treated him and for once in his life, Harry didn't have his Gryffindor courage.

Once again, turning towards the door Harry walked out and ignored all the horrible comments they were currently making about him in the dining room.

In the quickest run he could make at the time, he ran up the stairs. He knew very well that if he heard any more of those taunting about him being abnormal and needing a good punch he would blow his fuse. Cautiously he opened the door not really knowing what to except. The last time his uncle said he left a pool of blood Harry walked into this room to find everything, even the ceiling covered in droplets of blood, which was one of his worst beatings.

He was very happy when he walked in only to find a medium size puddle of his own red blood in the corner by the window. Back into his run, which was very painful for him due to the extent of his injures he made it to the bathroom. Before he grabbed the cleaning supplies he glanced at the toilet, he looked back and forth between the cabinet and the loo. With his body in so much pain throwing up sounded so good to him. But then again he didn't really have anything to bring back up and if he did puke then he knew that would mean cleaning the toilet too. And right now in all this pain, he didn't think he could handle that much work.

So he hastily grabbed the supplies he needed and walked more slowly back into his old room this time. Due to him having been treated like a house elf since he was five Harry knew very well how to clean, even things such as blood. But yet he still had to admit that it freaked him out, knowing that he was cleaning his own blood off the floor and all but wouldn't it you?

That was done quickly which made harry very happy, it had hurt terribly to be bent over in that position for even a short amount of time. His whole chest hurt and felt like it was weighed down with pressure. Making harry know that it was indeed time to survey the damage that had been done to him while he was out cold.

So in extremely slow motion that made him feel like he was twice his age Harry made his was off the ground and back onto his feet. Now was the time he hated most of all, well it was a little better than his punishment but it still hurt like hell. However, he knew that he had to get it over with and the sooner the better. So very carefully, he lifted up his arms and took off his shirt and under shirt.

He couldn't even stop the gasps he made or the flinches of pain he gave while he did it either. But Harry had never been one for crying or feeling sorry for himself so he made it through the best way he could. He finally let out a long sigh, as he looked his abs and chest up and down; there was a lot of damage done. No, it wasn't as much as usual but it did look horrible from Harry point of view. It was though a bad and a good thing that his scars didn't heal well. It was bad because without his shirt it just made Harry terribly bruised, purple, and red where they did not. It was good because he didn't have to explain to people where he got the ones during the summer. Because most people assumed that, he had gotten them in some huge fight at Hogwarts. Which was only partially right, yes he had some still on his body from the last five years at Hogwarts but those were slowly fading away. Oh, if only the others would too, Harry had no idea how he was going to change for Quidditch practice next year or let alone shower after it.

Back in muggle school harry had always been late to gym, because he waited for everyone else to leave before he could get into his clothes. Sure, some kids gave him weird looks as he sat there and looked off into space at nothing but they would most likely give him weirder ones if they saw how he looked without his clothes on.

Harry's sore hands lightly traced over every one he could see, the blood had only dried on his shirt so he could see the scars without that much blood spots blocking them on his light skin. Yes, he would wince or bite his lip as he felt over them but it was a good way to make him less sensitive. If Harry could stand his own touch over them then he wouldn't flinch away if he ran into someone somewhere other than the durselys.

No one really knew about the abuse inside the house itself. If had heard his screams or if the neighbors did, well they sure weren't doing anything about it. The durselys had gave harry the reputation of a criminal and an insane man on privet drive. Therefore, no one really cared if they happened to be walking down the street and saw his uncle threatening him outside of the house. Because of all the stupid stories and lies, the durselys had told the street some might even say the boy deserved it so that he would shape up.

However, Harry didn't want to think about all that now, he was getting himself too worked up over it all. But it was better than concentrating on his many scars and bruises. Each one of them told a story of the horrors he had been through, not just the one on his forehead.

It seemed that each of him had there scary story of how they came to be and Harry remember each tragic moment as he looked over and slowly traced each one.

There was a large old one right under his rib cage for the first example. His aunt right had caused it after his uncle beat him.

(Flashback (1))

A small fourteen-year-old boy was lying in the floor after being knocked painfully into the fridge by his overlarge uncle. You see it was the summer after Harry was in the famous triwizard tournament and even during the day he was still having nightmares.

He had been give one of his more simple chores this morning but yet it had ended in disaster. Harry was responsible for cooking the breakfast that morning and he had found himself daydreaming or more having a nightmare while he was awake about his friend Cedric Diggory dyeing that night. But of course, his uncle wouldn't understand how painful it was to go through something like that. He didn't even care to take a chance and try.

So once Vernon realized he was burning his very precious bacon he had it decided that he should take matters into his own hands. By doing that he got up a yelled so loud, that Harry thought his ear drums would burst at the mere sound.

"BOY! WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?"

But Harry wasn't sure he really wanted to answer that question right now. Being as he was already unhappy because of the grief, he didn't want his uncle to make it any worse. So being the strong male he was he just shrugged and looked up to find himself standing face to face with a very unpleased Vernon, of course he was like that every day.

"Well?" he asked menacingly.

"Nothing uncle Vernon." Harry responded causally as he went to go and throw out the burnt meant.

" oh no you don't boy," he uncle stopped him by firmly putting his hand on the fourteen year olds shoulder, he made sure that his finger nails tightly sunk into Harry's thin skin. "You're going to eat that for your breakfast and not a signal bite of anything more do you hear me?"

Again, all Harry gave was a nod; he really didn't feel like arguing and besides, burnt bacon well that was more than he had eaten in a long time.

"Answer me!"

But all Harry wanted to do was nod, which never seemed to bother his uncle before. But then again you could never really tell what he wanted from you when he was angry. It was like everything you did was wrong when he got into a horrible mood and by everyone, I mean Harry only.

It seemed that Harry hadn't answered quick enough, though it's not like Vernon gave him anytime to. He was then met with a hard slap to the face. That one slap was hard enough and had enough force and hatred in it to knock him down and against the fridge. His uncle then had his fun with him by taking the toe of his working shoe and repeating slamming it against Harry's ribs and stomach.

In a haste while mumbling to himself, Harry's uncle furiously walked out of the kitchen. Harry thought he had heard the words scum and no good freak in his uncle's ramblings. But he could care less right now, because suddenly the whole world seemed to spin and his thought were hazy. Harry could guess the cause was from his head hitting the refrigerator so hard at such a speed. However, it wasn't over just yet for at that minute aunt petunia walked into the kitchen and nearly fell over the lump by the fridge that just happened to be her only nephew.

"Freak! What do you think you're doing on my clean floor?"

Harry really wanted to answer that it didn't matter if he made the floor dirty for it had been him who cleaned it. But with most of his energy left, he refrained from doing so.

Before Harry could even tell what was happening he felt a searing impact that knock the wind straight out of him.

It had been his aunt with her brand new frying pan in her hand; she had used that to smack the bottom of his ribs with. He was really happy that that it hadn't gone any higher he was sure she would have at least cracked one of his ribs. Yes, the pan had hurt that much, it was enough to make him go up into fetal position on his side and gasp for air.

Without a signal word of an apology petunia put the pan back and left the room. However, not without screaming at him once again to get off her sparkling floor.

By the time he could breathe enough to get back up he was greeted by a list of many chores thrown directly at his face. And that had been what his days were like for the rest of the summer, painful and depressing.

He still shook at the thought of feeling like that again, he felt so hopeless and childlike and we all know who much Harry hates feeling like that.

He remembered very well that the only thing that got him through that summer was the thought of living happily with his godfather. Even the thought gave him a small smile on his clean face. For you see his uncle was smart enough to know never to hit him where it could be seen by any one. In Vernon's mind, the only abuse everyone had to know about was the mental and emotional. He would never hit Harry in public, that might a attract Harry's lot as Vernon had labeled the wizards that looked at Harry with so pride as they walk by him on the street.

Suddenly Harry stopped tracing over his previous wounds. His head shot up from his stomach where it had currently been and to the window. He had completely forgotten about Sirius writing a letter back to him. Well he didn't know if Sirius had wrote him back but in all this depression he knew he had to try to have some hope.

Quickly he limped over to the window and closed opened it and looked out. As he peered into the open dawn sky, he saw nothing. His heart immediately dropped at the thought of no more letter from Sirius. But before he could shut the window he heard a soft hoot from a nearby branch and looked around to see no other owl than Hedwig.

"Come on girl, come back in." he timidly told her in fear of his uncle hearing him.

Of course, she followed his directions perfectly, flew straight into the room, and landed softly on his old twin bed.

He left his injures unlooked at as he slowly limped and walked over to her and sat down beside her.

"That's a good girl." he commented at her good behavior. Normally she would have been so excited she would have been hooting and flapping her wings everywhere much like she had done in her cage before his second year.

He let out a long sigh of relief as he saw the parchment on Hedwig's leg hadn't been damaged or lost. Slowly with his heart pounding, he reached out and grabbed the mail from her.

With slightly shaking hands, he opened it and read what it had to say. He smiled like a manic to himself as he saw Sirius's handwriting on the first line. But desperate to know what his godfather had to say he read on. The letter from Sirius went something like this…

Dear Harry,

Hold on I'll be there...

Sirius

Ok so it wasn't that much but it meant the world and more to Harry potter. He read over it repeatedly just to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him. He couldn't believe that his godfather was going to come to privet drive!

Suddenly Harry panicked… what he thinks he's doing coming all the way from grimmuald to surrey! Won the get caught and thrown back into Azkaban. He thought to himself.

But that thought soon left his mind as the door opened and he saw his uncle Vernon standing in the doorway like a mad man with a whip in his hand. Think of Sirius coming, think of Sirius coming, he's going to get you and take you back with him. Harry repeated over and over again, as he stared in horror at his uncle, who was now waking slowly towards him.


	6. it was all turning into choas

I'm back! Hey, everyone it's time for another chap isn't it? Well then, let's read on.

**Disclaimer: as I've said many times before I don't own Harry Potter and sadly never will unless I go to some alternate universe**.

Thinking of Sirius was getting harder and harder to do for Harry Potter while he lay on his back spread eagle in his old bedroom. For you see his uncle had just been in there and Harry had gotten his punishment twice in a row.

One was for Harry passing out earlier and the other was the result of him not being in his cupboard waiting as uncle Vernon had instructed earlier. He couldn't believe he had been so daft, by now he should have known that his uncle would finish his dinner early just to beat him up! He shouldn't have checked himself over until he was in his cupboard. Though he wasn't quite sure that he would have enough room to, for that thing was extremely tiny.

However, in a way, he was glad he took a chance and stayed longer in the room than he was supposed to. Because if he hadn't then he would have never gotten Sirius's letter.

Everything had gone as it usually did when Harry was beaten twice. His uncle would hit him and hit him repeatedly with anything he had on him at the time. That included his belt, the whip, his fists, and his shoes, and sometimes the smelting stick. Of course, Harry had gotten all of them that afternoon. But He knew his uncle had more products meant for his torture hidden in the cupboard. For he had seen them last summer when he was sent in there to get a broom. Those included more whips, and Harry's worst nightmare of all some restraints and gags.

You see being beaten twice was when Vernon would beat on Harry for the first session. Till he was on all fours and gasping for breath. Then he would give Harry approximately two minutes to sit there in suffering, while he caught his breath. Once Harry's uncle did then he would start it all over again till he got the same result as before.

In addition, another part went along with Vernon's horrible painful beatings. Harry wasn't allowed to cry out or scream during the whole time. If he did then Vernon just made it clearer he wasn't supposed to by hitting him harder. Therefore, Harry would suffer through it all anyway he could, sometimes he would bite his lip till it bled. More time's he would rest his head on his knees as he bent down and he would cover up the sound with his hands. He didn't care if some people thought it wasn't like him to want to beg for it to stop. When you're getting hit that hard by a man, double your size it's going to hurt like hell for anyone, even the bravest people.

However, at the end then Harry was free to let go, you see by then his uncle wasn't getting satisfaction of just seeing Harry trying to hold back a scream. He wanted to hear him yell out by then and he would make sure Harry did. So a couple minutes before he was done he would start yelling at Harry to scream and show him he was in pain. If Harry didn't then the beating would just continue going on and on till he finally gave in and did.

That was one of the parts Harry hated the most. He didn't like letting anyone, even his close friends know they hurt him or caused him pain. And for him to have to admit it to his horrible uncle was a torture all in its own.

The only bright side to that night was Harry was sure his godfather was on his way. At first, Harry had thought that Sirius would only show up to tell him to stop sending him letters. But something inside him knew Sirius wouldn't do that to him. I mean the man broke out of Azkaban to catch peter Pettigrew so he could take him in didn't he? This was the same man who took the chance of being spotted, just so he could see Harry from the bushes, wasn't he?

So now, all he had to do was wait, but that was turning out to be harder than he thought it could ever be.

"Boy are you still in Dudley's bedroom? You just have to make me mad don't you!" he heard his uncle scream angrily from the bottom of the stairs.

Harry knew exactly what that meant for him. It was that he was supposed to get up and out of that room as fast as he could before his uncle came back.

So by building up the strength, he had left and by sliding over to the dresser on his side, he grabbed onto it and pulled himself up. He let out a loud groan as he got to his feet and stood straight up.

Right now, he couldn't be more thankful that Voldemort and his uncle didn't know each other. They both took obscene amounts of pleasure in causing Harry as much pain as possible. The only time Harry could think of even feeling close to this much pain was when Voldemort was inside his mind.

He really didn't want to think about that though, because that was the night everything went sour for him. That was the night Sirius had come so very close to death, on that night Voldemort had come back in person, and that night was the last time he saw his godfather because of a stupid decision on his part.

Hermione had warned him over and over again that Sirius really wasn't in any danger and that it was all a trap and in the end, she couldn't be more right. There were so many times in the day Harry wished he could take what he had done back. He wished he could have done it differently so no one had to be in that terrible battle, especially his godfather.

But he wanted that to stay in the past tonight. Because on this night all he had to do was get through it, the best he could and soon Sirius would show up.

Harry looked all over the floor of that tiny bedroom before he finally spotted his shirt; it was hidden in the corner by the mirror, right where he had taken it off. As quick, as he could with so much damage done he limped over and picked it up. Once he put it on, he couldn't believe how lucky he had come out. Even with an elbow-sleeved shirt on you could only see some of the bruises on his forearms arms. The only one you could clearly see was located right on his elbow and he would hardly call that a bruise. It was the handprints of his uncle's hands form where he had pulled Harry up to start the second session.

Harry had known from experience that ones like that would fade quicker than the others. All he had to do was keep it covered for a few days till it did completely.

Which wasn't going to be that hard at all, for you see Harry got all of Dudley's hand me down clothes. And aunt Petunia only bought him long sleeves unless it was a basketball jersey. She had said that the look complemented her popkins arms well. But Harry guessed that the real reason she did it was because she wanted to hide his fat arms. He however restrained himself from actually saying that when she brought up how cute he looked in long sleeves. For he knew that that meant she would just come after him with that cast iron frying pan again. And believe Harry when he says that one blow to the head with those hurts! Even if it's tossed by someone with such a small horse like frame as his aunt Petunia has.

Once he had his shirt back on he limped over to his overly large trunk. In there he found his muggle clothing all the way at the bottom because he rarely wore them at all. Besides when he was on privet drive that was.

He stayed as silent as he could as he changed his shirt and trousers while his skin was all black and blue. He tried his hardest to suppress the hisses and groans outof pain from moving until he was done. He even cursed in parseltounge a few times, just to let it out. Once he was finished, he looked himself back over in the mirror.

He was wearing a short-sleeved black t-shirt that was hidden by Dudley's massive black and grey plaid shirt over it, He left that one unbuttoned .The last time he wore it, and it was buttoned all the way up and tucked in. That was when Aunt Marge was visiting and it was only buttoned up then because of aunt Petunia's demands about it.

His trousers were also close to what he was wearing that night, they were long, a little baggy, and had a greenish color to them. Right now, he couldn't be more thankful that his belt was lying right where he had left it by his bed. For any of the muggle pants he had would have never stayed up if he didn't have it and he didn't feel like keeping his uniform pants on all summer. So he put that on too, although he had to set it to its highest notch. Proving to him that he had lost way to much weight over the last couple of days than were normal for someone his age of almost sixteen.

You could clearly tell that he was extremely tiny when he lifted up his shirt, but with it down, he just looked like he normally did. However when you lifted up his shirt you could not only see the scars and bruises but worst of all most of his bones to.

Sure Harry had always been really tiny in the stomach fat area compared to other kids. But usually he had his muscle from all of that Quidditch training he had at Hogwarts. So no one really questioned why he was so skinny once he took off his shirt because they could see not only his bones but some muscle to.

But now, now it was like some of that muscle had disappeared. Yes you could still see some there but it looked almost gone with all of his rib bones, his hipbones, and his collarbone showing.

That was a sign to him that he had to bulk up before someone saw his without a shirt on again. For he knew if he didn't that would only lead to questions from others to his aunt and uncle about it. And he had learned when he was only a tiny child at the durselys that there should be no questions concerning Harry in that house, if they weren't when he was going to be beaten again or if it was whether or not he had all his chores done.

He turned his gaze from the mirror and when he looked back he was shocked. What had only a small puddle been before was now three larger ones and a lot of blood splattered along the walls, the floors, and you guessed it the ceiling. There wasn't that much of it in the ceiling but just enough to show when the lights were on.

Harry had to guess that it had come from his uncle swinging his belt up before bringing it down on Harry's back. That thing always seemed to be covered in Harry's blood from all the wounds it had opened when his uncle finished. Trust me, Harry would know because he always had to shine it clean of the blood the next day when he did laundry.

He sighed quietly and started to walk out the door. He would get to all of his chores tomorrow when he had more time. I mean it's not like Sirius really specified when he would be showing up. He had wrote hold on I'm coming soon almost three days ago now.

"Boy!" he heard his uncle call again.

Harry groaned again, but this time out of annoyance more than pain. Why couldn't things go back to the way they were last summer when the durselys nearly never spoke to him and Sirius gave him all the attention he had. No it seemed that everything had been turned around. The durselys wouldn't leave him alone and he didn't know if his godfather was going to come through.

But he had to didn't he? The hold on had to had meant to be something to keep him going till he showed up wasn't it?

You know what he didn't even want to think about it right now. It would lead him into spirals and spirals of downhill confusion and right now confusion was the last thing he wanted. He life was confusing enough without having to deal with what everyone else thought of him. And that everyone included his godfather, and the durselys.

So he quietly made his way down the stairs and into the living room. As usual his cousin was eating pie and watching a horrible TV show, his aunt was sitting next to Dudley and fussing over his hair, and his uncle was burning some of his hand me down clothes. Yep things were as they normally were at privet drive.

Wait a tick! Why in the hell was his uncle burning all of his muggle clothes?

"What the cricket do you think you're doing?" (A/n I remember Hermione saying that in the first film)

"Boy you will mind your own business, and not ask questions in my house." Vernon snapped back.

Ugh! That was it he wasn't going to argue with some like his uncle anymore. And besides it not like he wanted the clothes anyway. They were huge on his skinny frame, but it was still nice to have something.

"Mum... He's being annoying and spoiling my time again." Dudley whined. Acting more like he was a four year old than the sixteen your old man he was. But then again that was the way to get Petunia or Vernon to punish Harry and Dudley happened to know that very well.

She apologized to her son for letting Harry in the room and then turned back to the boy wonder with complete look disgust on her face.

"Would you just go and stay in your cupboard boy!" she barked as she put her nose in the air like she was better than him.

"Yeah whatever." Harry mumbled to anyone that was listening. With a shrug of his shoulders he left the kitchen and walked out of the door.

He was a little hesitant as he looked at his old cupboards small slanted door. He had no idea how in the world he would fit into it again. Granted he was a small teenager but it was even cramped in there when he was eleven. How was he supposed to even get inside now?

Harry gave one look up stairs; it was almost like he was wishing he could just walk upstairs and fall on his twin bad.

But for now he had to put up with this. So he cautiously undid all the locks and look inside…

Yup it was just as cramped as he had remember it to be. He could even still see the small blanket he had used till he was at Hogwarts.

So with one last sigh and look to the door he crouched down and stepped in. It wasn't as cramped as he thought it would be. But yet it was still to snug for his liking. Oh well, at least he could move around right.

For a brief moment Harry could feel something crawling on his shin. He looked down to see the smallest spider resting on him. It would seem that Harry's leg had landed right on his web. But it's not like Harry didn't mind killing them that much. So he just bent down, took off his show and swatted the spider down till he was off his leg and smashed into the floor.

Harry wasn't as afraid of spiders like Ron was, he had lived in that cupboard since he was extremely small and it's not like there wasn't any spiders in it before. So Harry just got in the habit of smashing them, that's why he wasn't scared at all to follow them in his second year.

"Finally a little respect..." he could hear his uncle say from the kitchen to no one about Harry finally following what he said and getting in the cupboard.

Before he could reach out and shut the door he heard Vernon's rather large feet pounding towards the door. Quickly he reached out and shut himself into the inhuman living space.

To fit with the door shut he had to curl up on his side in fetal position. He wasn't very comfortable but at least it kept him warm to be so snuggled into himself.

"Right where you belong boy." his uncle mumbled as he walked to Harry's cupboard and locked all of the five locks.

You see Harry's uncle had added three more locks to the door when he was at Hogwarts. He said it was all for his families safety because he had planned to lock all of Harry's magical items in it. Those included his wand, broom, robes, and his school trunk.

But on the way to get Harry from that blasted train station was when his dearest pet had a change of heart… well she would have if she had one. She had decided that she had had enough of Harry taking everything that Dudley had like she thought her sister had done to her. So she told Vernon that once they were back at home Harry would be back into his cupboard and that was that. And of course he had agreed with her only because it would cause Harry to be miserable.

Well it wasn't like things were going to change right that minute so Harry made up his mind to put up with it. So he stretched out as far as his arms and legs would allow him to and put the mangy blanket over his waist, as he rested his head on his hand as a pillow, since he didn't have a bed in there anymore.

Once he was moved up to the houses smallest bedroom his uncle had moved his bed from the cupboard into the trash.

"Get to sleep you freak!" he could hear Dudley call as he passed by the cupboard with someone who had really tiny footsteps. That other person of course was his aunt but it's not like he really thought she would say goodnight to him.

"Night cousin!" the whale screamed again once he was almost up the stairs.

He had stopped to do what he usually did when Harry used to sleep in the cupboard every night. He walked all the way up the stairs till he got to a certain one. On that one step he hopped up and down. His large weight making sawdust from the old wood above Harry's head to fall on top of where he was sleeping.

But after so many years Harry had gotten used to it. He knew to keep his mouth and eyes closed as it fell. Because to get that in your eyes or mouth hurts to get out, especially when you can't use water for it.

Well if everyone in the house was asleep then he might as well try to be to right. So he quietly took off his glasses and closed his eyes, finally he drifted off into his own dream land. It was the place Dumbledore had always said to leave him be in. His headmaster had said that in dreams Harry could swim in the deepest ocean or fly over the tallest mountain. He had said he thought Harry's dreams could be a good way for him to escape the troubles in his life.

However, Harry dreams were rarely like that at all. Harry's dream usually consisted of nightmares of what would come around the next time he woke.

With the hope of a night without a dream Harry finally drifted off into sleep.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.

Harry could almost guess that he had been asleep for three or four hours at least, before he heard loud knocks coming from the door across from him. But wait if he had been asleep for that long than that meant whoever was knocking was waking everyone up at three am! Not only that they had woken him up from an amazing night. No it's not like he was having a good dream, what made the night good was that he hadn't dreamt at all.

There was no dream about Sirius, no dream about Voldemort, or even his parents. But that's the way he liked it.

"Who in the bloody hell would be knocking on MY door at a time like this." he could hear his uncle scream from above him on the stairs.

KNOCK, KNOCK.

There it was again but this time it sounded more impatient more annoyed than they were before.

"Oh dear just answer the door and tell them to leave." Petunia was heard saying from the stairs with her husband.

Soon Harry heard his uncle thundering footsteps coming down the stairs at such a fast pace. Ending right where Harry could guess was beside the door.

Sure enough he could see the glow of a light being on slide in from under his cupboard door. And he could see Vernon's shadow taking up the whole hallway.

Then he heard the door creak open slowly and his uncle say, "I don't care who in the world you are or what's so important, but I will not allow you to be knocking on my door at such an ungodly hour! Do you understand me?"

Quickly Harry shut his eyes tightly and tried to fall back asleep as he was before. He had only see his uncle this mad before at him and he knew that there was going to be trouble, so he thought he might as well sleep through it.

Now with his eyes closed and glasses spewed onto the floor beside him again he relied on his sense of hearing.

He could hear his uncle trying to close the door before a loud bang was heard, like something was thrown against the wall. His first guess was that it was the door swinging wide open by the unknown visitor.

"Now there's no need to brake their door down." a calm and filmier voice came to Harry's ears.

"Oh come on this is useless, I told him we would show up days ago!" a more loud and desperate voice said. Now that one sounded like someone he knew very well. But he still kept his eyes shut tightly.

"W what do you want, y you're from their lot aren't you?" he heard his uncle stutter.

First his uncle stuttering and then him using the phrase "their lot" in so much fear. That could only mean that these people at the door where wizards! But why were they in surrey, But it didn't matter right now he was way to sleepy to know who or what they wanted.

Then suddenly the second voice was heard saying.

"Look I'm just here trying to find my godson in this row of blasted houses that all look the same!"

As he had said before on the train it was all turning into chaos.


	7. why didn't you get my letters

He was a little more frantic then he thought he would be when this night came. But then again he was excepting it to happen at three in the morning.

" God, g godson sir I have no idea what you mean." Harry could hear his uncle say.

" I think you know exactly what I mean." Sirius said.

Harry opened his eyes and put on his glasses, he had given up completely on trying to get back to sleep when Sirius was there. Once his eyes were wide, he saw that not only his uncle's shadow was in the hallway but also those of Sirius and whoever were with him.

"Come on now Sirius there's no need to barge into their house like that."

"Oh come off it Remus, you want Harry with us as much as I do."

Remus! Of course, the other cam voice with Sirius had to be Remus; Harry could not believe how daft he had become in these last few days at the Durselys.

"There is no one by that name in my house, now if you would be so kind to leave at once!" his uncle thundered.

Harry heard a small whimpers coming from over his head. He guessed they were from the now awakened Dudley and Petunia.

Knowing that he might be leaving soon he quickly sat up the best he could in such a small space and looked himself over. Just to make sure the clothes were hiding every bruise ,scar, and abnormality on his body for when Sirius and Remus saw him.

He was in luck enough that his clothes did in fact hide everything he wanted them too. With the long over shirt and the baggy pants, almost all of Harry had been hidden. Well not the base of his throat, his fingers, of his feet but those had gotten the minimal damage of all. Except there still was the small scars that used to say "I must not tell lies". They had not faded yet but the words that were once on them had disappeared causing them to just look like regular cuts.

He was however thoroughly shocked when he heard what he uncle said next. " Oh very well, Petunia pet please escort these…" it seemed to Harry that his uncle paused because he didn't know if he should call them freaks or men. " men into our living room and I'll go and wake the Fr.. Harry."

Harry silently laughed to himself he wasn't quite sure if it was because his uncle almost let it slip he called him a freak, if it was that he practically had to choke his name out, or if it was that fact that he was just turning delusional.

Soon the sound of footprints could be heard and Harry saw the three shadows of Sirius, aunt Petunia, and Remus all going into the living area.

When the shadows were gone he heard the locks on his door becoming undone and he was roughly pulled out by his uncle.

"Boy those freak friends of yours are here." he sneered up close to Harry's face, in fact he was using the fact that he had the shoulder of his shirt to pull him up.

" The sooner you leave with them the sooner my house will be normal again so you better get in there and tell them your fine and nothing happened here or they'll come to their sense and realize I was right for punishing you, and I do not want you coming back!"

As that was said he let go of Harry's shirt and pushed him to the door. But Harry didn't wasn't to think about how much that hurt. All he could think about was Vernon's words that were swirling around his mind.

What did he mean they would realize he was right for beating him. That would never happen with Sirius and Remus would it. He couldn't believe that he was believing something his uncle told him but for some reason he did. Maybe it would be better if he kept it all quiet for a while till he was sure of what Remus or Sirius would do or think, yeah that would work.

The next thing he knew he was opening the door and was walking through it to find Sirius and Remus in their wizard robes sitting with his aunt at the table.

Harry summoned his Gryffindor courage and looked at Remus and Sirius from the door way. As always Remus had his usual calm and caring look, but Sirius had a different one. Sirius didn't look as carefree like he did the last time Harry saw him. In fact this time he looked more worried and nervous, Harry couldn't help but wonder if he had caused that.

Before he could think anymore it seemed that Sirius finally made his mind up of what he was going to do and got up from the table only to grab Harry into his arms for a hug and squeeze him a little. Don't get him wrong it felt very loving and comforting to be in Sirius's arms but he couldn't deny the fact that he did flinch and stiffen a little when Sirius did that.

It would seem that Sirius noted it too, for he lost his grip on Harry's waist a little and began to back up. But Harry didn't want him to get the wrong idea so he quickly wrapped his arms around Sirius's waist and hugged back before his godfather let go. In the back of his mind Harry could tell that he heard Remus laughing quietly for the table. But for what reason Harry had no idea about.

It was only once Sirius let go of Harry that Remus got up and gave a short side hug to him. Harry could tell Remus was trying to be comforting but when he began to rub the side of Harry's arm up and down he couldn't help but bite his lip. For Remus hand unknowingly was rubbing right over a new cut that his uncle gave him only hours ago.

" Harry you have no idea how crazy Sirius was going trying to get to you." Remus said at last when he pulled away.

Wait did Remus say that Sirius was trying to get to him? How could that even be possibly true when the man wouldn't answer anything Harry wrote. Once again with his courage he asked just that but in a less harsh way than it sounded in his head.

" not that I'm not happy you guys are here but… um if you wanted to get me then why didn't you respond to any of my letters?"

Wow. Harry thought to himself. Did I really just say something that insulting and stupid aloud?

But what was bugging him now was not the fact that the sentence he just said sounded so accusing but it was the fact that Sirius once again had a nervous look on his face. Almost as if he didn't know how things were going to turn out once he answered it. So Remus stepped in for him, he was the one who was smiling at Sirius so promptly looking so nervous.

" Harry why don't you, Sirius, your aunt and uncle, and I all sit down at the table for a moment hmm." he said as he put his arm on Harry's shoulder closest to him and started to lead him to a chair. Before Harry could even start to think about all the horrible possibilities that could go along with that sentence he found himself sitting and looking at Sirius. Who was clearing his throat and again worriedly looking down at the table cloth.

" Harry I'm dreadfully sorry that didn't respond to what you had written us but it would seem that we did not know you were writing at all till we got your last letter." Remus stated calmly.

" Wait what do you mean you didn't know I was writing? I sent Sirius a letter almost every day and never got a response." Right now he could care less if it sounded rude, he wanted answers.

He was however able to notice that both Remus's and Sirius's eyes had suddenly become very sad at this comment.

" We never meant to hurt you at all Harry in any way, but you should know that we had a very good reason to, for that I will let Sirius explain."

He shot a look at Sirius as if to tell him he should start from the beginning. And with another clearing of his throat that's just what Sirius did.

" Well I think we should start form when I last saw you at the battle in the department of mysteries. When I last saw you there Harry I…. well I realized how fast I could lose you and how much you've been through when I wasn't around." Sirius paused to catch his breath. The whole table was silent even the Durselys had shut up. Everyone but Vernon and Petunia could tell that this was getting hard for him to say., but he continued on nevertheless.

" So that night I came to grimmuald place told Remus I had a plan and we went to go after Peter." ok so this wasn't going the way Harry thought it would be but it was getting interesting, but he never excepted what he heard next, " and we caught him."

Harry practically choked on air, he couldn't believe what they were telling him. Finally after so long they had Peter in their grasp, but what did that mean for Sirius?

" But if you caught him then you, your." Harry couldn't believe that words were failing him now but he just couldn't manage to spit it out.

" Yes Harry Sirius is a free man." Remus added in completely ecstatic at the look on Harry's face.

" Then why didn't I get an answer?" Harry decided that this was as good of a time as any to ask.

" You see after we had him Remus and I brought him into the Minster of magic with Dumbledore's help and I finally I got myself a fair trial." Sirius continued on, but this still wasn't answering his question.

" There was however a cost to it," This was what Harry was wondering about, " I wasn't allowed to have any contact with the outside world other than Remus and Dumbledore due to them still thinking was a murder and was sending messages to other's trying to get them on my side if they ever were asked to speak in a hearing."

" You see Harry they were keeping your letters from Sirius and it wasn't until Sirius's trial was over that we got your last one." Remus explained, it was all suddenly becoming very clear to Harry.

" But Harry you must understand that Dumbledore had nothing to do with this, he just knew that if you sent a letter to me they would take me away from Sirius tell his trial was over." Remus continued then looked over at Sirius, " I think that you had something to say about this didn't you old friend?" he asked.

" So Harry now the only question is do you… well do you," he stopped completely getting that nervous look back on his features. So he decided that maybe he should take a whole other approach to it, " Harry in your third year I made you a promise, for a different home.. Would you take me up on it?"

Harry couldn't speak for a minute, finally he had all the answers and the one thing he wanted the most in this world a home where people wanted him around.

Another thing also became very clear to Harry. Sirius wasn't nervous about seeing Harry or something Harry had done, he was nervous that Harry wouldn't want to live with him.

But the pause as this came to Harry's sense said something different to Sirius and Remus than Harry would want.

" Look Harry I get it and I understand that you want to be with your aunt and uncle, they've been there for you longer." Sirius said next with a heart broken look.

He could almost laugh out loud, the Durselys actually being there for him was one of the most humorous things he had heard in a while, and in fact he had laughed out loud.

" Sirius, Remus are you guys crazy!" he said once he stopped laughing. He wanted to tell them what his uncle had done to him, to tell them the Durselys had never cared for him enough to be there for him. But he decided that he would save that for later, later when he knew for sure that they wouldn't mind.

"Of course I would want to live with you." He declared happily. For once Harry was smiling a real smile, it was one that hadn't been on his face for a long time.

Sirius practically leaped out of his chair and shouted in elation. Causing both Harry and Remus to enjoy a laugh about it while he sat down looking quite sheepish.

" I have the papers here Harry, all we need is your aunt and uncle's signature if that's all right with them." Remus said as he threw a glance to Harry's uncle.

Vernon was grinning very broadly and said, " of course we'd be happy to get rid of that boy, you can leave tonight if you wish, Harry go upstairs and get your things and never darken our door step again."

Remus's eyebrows rose and looked very taken back by this comment. Sirius however looked not only shocked but angry too. Harry though could care less what his uncle said about him he was too happy about getting a real home. Somewhere where he would leave all of his abuse in the past, where he would forget all about it and not bring it up. He wouldn't want Sirius and Remus to be disappointed when they realized how much not like his father Harry was. Because Harry knew even if he didn't know him that his dad would not let this happen to him.

So he just shrugged and got up from the table, only to look back at his godfather and the werewolf. "I can go up and get my stuff now if that's alright with you guys."

Remus nodded and began to get the papers that were needed out of the briefcase he had brought with him. Sirius however got up from his chair and walked over to the door that would let them out of the kitchen. He then opened it and gestured for Harry to walk through.

" I'll come with you kiddo, I've already signed the parts that I need to of that."

Harry had never been called "kiddo" before or any other nickname given out of love from a parent figure. If he wasn't so desperate for that kind of love he would have been insulted that someone was calling him a kid at his age, but with Sirius and Remus he would let it slide. Because truth was he like the attention he got form them thinking he was a kid. They didn't leave him alone like the others would, he knew that for sure.

So he made his way through the door with Sirius following behind him waiting for him to lead the way.

He lead him up to the second bedroom that he used to have. He was slightly worried that it would still be covered in blood like it had been when he was up there.

Once he reached the door his hands slightly shook as he reached for the door knob. It turned out that Sirius noticed this too.

" Harry are you alright?" he asked with a face full of concern.

" Yeah I'm fine it's just I can't believe that this is all happening." he responded.

Sirius chuckled to himself a little at the how fast his dream of taking care of his godson was coming true. " I know how you feel, but we'll catch up and have fun this summer."

Harry smiled lightly he had never had the promise of an easy summer in his whole life. And he liked the feeling of knowing he had some where to go. This was going to be his first carefree summer and he was going to make sure nothing interfered.

He stepped in with Sirius on his tail, he immediately went and got Hedwig and put her in her cage. Then he moved to his trunk and began to pack his stuff back in along with some of the drawings of Hedwig and cards that he had gotten from his friends, that along with some Quidditch ribbon awards.

Sirius chipped in and took down some of his awards for first, fourth, and third place from Quidditch that he had tacked on the wall.

Before handing them to Harry Sirius gently moved his fingers over the award ribbon as he looked at it with a smile.

" I'm going to have to come and watch you play aren't I?" he said as he looked back up to his godson.

Harry only nodded and smiled, no one other than his friends, and Hagrid ever cheered for him in the stands. It would be nice to have Sirius there rooting for him and the rest of the Gryffindor team.

He reached out to grab it from Sirius when his sleeve fell back, reveling some of the scars he got in umbridge's detentions that he had mentioned earlier.

He quickly took the ribbon and put it safely in his trunk. All the while praying that Sirius hadn't seen anything. But it seemed that he couldn't be that lucky for Sirius did see and promptly snatched Harry's hand back to only pull back his sleeve again and give him a clear view of the cuts on it.

He held Harry's hand firmly in both of his and took a minute to stare down at the evidence that a blood quill or knife had been taken to his godson or i Harry had done it all himself. Sirius just didn't know which one to guess did this or who did.

Meanwhile Harry was praying that he didn't lift up his sleeve anymore and see the scars that had not been done by magic itself.

Sirius looked up from Harry's hand and in to his green eyes, then said, " Bud you know you can tell me anything you want right, and ANYTHING." he said a little louder at the end to prove his point.

All Harry could do was nod that he understood as he got his hand back. Sirius was still staring in a concerned way at him.

Maybe this summer wasn't going to put his abuse in the past and be as carefree


	8. heading to a new home

Hey peoples! It's again time for chapter eight. Sorry if Remus or Sirius seem a little ooc to you but this is how I think they would act.

P.s yes it will all be found out about soon and I have it all worked out, so be patient my little readers

Disclaimer: do we have to go over this every time? "Sigh" *looks into mirror* yup I called it I'm still not j.k.

* * *

"I.... It's really nothing Sirius; don't even worry another minute about it." Harry said as he packed up the rest of his stuff while trying to look as casual as normal.

Nevertheless, it didn't seem like Sirius wanted believe him, he wanted Harry to trust him enough to just come right out with it. However, clearly that's not the way things were going, Harry was denying there even was scars.

So the godfather stopped packing with Harry and took to just looking at him with that overly concerned gaze.

"_Really_." Harry said once he realized Sirius wasn't buying it.

Finally, he gave in and made a mental note to himself to bring it up once Harry was at home with him.

"Well then I'm all packed." Harry proclaimed. Although all he had was his trunk and Hedwig's cage. Sirius would have thought that he would have owned more but this time he let it side.

"Well then let's go down and join Remus to see how he's doing." Sirius suggested.

Therefore, Harry put his owl's cage on top of his school trunk and started to wheel it down after Sirius. He heard the animagus laugh to himself before they went down the stairs and as they ended them, he turned back to Harry.

"I remember the first time I saw you with that thing," he stated while gesturing to his trunk and Hedwig, "You were running down the street with it and then got picked up by the night bus."

Harry couldn't help but laugh himself; he remembered how scared he felt when he saw Sirius in the bushes. Had It hade been now then he probably would have ran up and hugged the dog senseless.

"Ha that was the night I blew up my aunt." Harry commented all of a sudden feeling this need to bring it up. It was almost as if sub conically he wanted to talk about all his problems at the Dursleys.

Sirius looked back to raise his eyebrows at the boy-who-lived but stayed silent. Even though we could all clearly tell there was laughter in his eyes and a smile threatening to break out on his face. That was defiantly a story he would have to hear later.

They keep their pace though and were soon back in the room with the others. As Harry sat down next to Remus to sign his part Sirius looked around the living room. The only thing he saw were pictures of the Dursleys abnormally large son and Vernon and Petunia together. This happened to worry him, he remembered how much Lily's sister hated magic. He just hoped she hadn't held that against Harry like the way Snape did at Hogwarts.

" Sirius, Sirius!" he suddenly became very aware that Remus was calling him from the dining room, while he himself randomly wandered in the other room.

" Yes?" he responded giving his old friend the most innocent smile he had as if it would make up for not answering him.

" Come on then Padfoot, we're already to go, aren't we Harry?"

He looked back at Harry who merely nodded and sat up from his chair. It was then that something dawned in his aunt.

" Padfoot! I remember that was the name of that Potter boy's best friend when they were alive." She commented, as she looked like the mere thought of her sister disgusted her.

" The one and only at your service." Sirius said playfully as he bowed lowly to her.

Harry held back a chuckle as Remus who was next to him smiled fondly. Petunia however did not find it as amusing as the others did. She turned her nose up at the wizards and turned the other way with her arms crossed.

Padfoot and Moony exchanged a confused look with each other but Harry simply brushed it off and got up with his small amount of things.

"This is all you have cub?" Remus asked as he looked down at Harry's trunk.

Again, Harry blushed lightly at having a nickname but nodded all the same.

"Well then we'll have to take you shopping in Diagon Ally wont we." Remus suggested as he tapped his wand in the palm of his other hand.

Harry couldn't help but laugh as his uncle and aunt shrunk back while clutching onto each other in fear of such a silly object as a wand. But he was promptly silenced by a glare that his uncle sent him making him shut up completely and the smile vanish from where it had once been. Vernon was giving him the exact same deathly gaze that he always gave Harry before he beat him.

He had no idea why but that stare always scared the daylight out of him and it took a lot to do that believe me.

Sirius though was ever so fortunate to notice this himself along with Remus. One second they were chuckling with their boy and the next, he is very quiet because of a look his uncle gave him. Sirius had to admit though it was a mean look.

Was that why in his third year Harry had so readily agreed to live with him, only after actually knowing him for two or three hours? Where there problems at home between his pup and that whale of a man?

The questions kept endlessly swarming around in his head, until he made up his mind that for an answer he would have to ask Harry. But he would need Remus's help desperately, if Harry wouldn't talk to him about a few simple cuts on his arm then who knew what he would.

That also reminded him of something he would also have to ask Remus later. He remembered very well that once they got inside the house his wolf friend had put up his nose and sniffed. He could easily tell after years of knowing lupin that that meant the werewolf in him smelt something it didn't like. However, he had become a little too preoccupied with Harry's uncle to ask what it was he had smelled. Oh well, it could all wait until they got to there new home.

No, it wasn't grimmuald place, ugh; the mere thought of going back there make him feel sick. It was a completely new house not far off from the Burrow, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember the street name.

"Well go on get out of here boy." Vernon said in that same annoyed voice he had when Harry didn't bring him his coffee of breakfast quick enough.

Sirius sent a deadly glare to Vernon before taking Harry by the shoulder and ruffling his already unruly hair.

"Come on buddy lets go I'm sure the old werewolf is missing his home by now." Sirius said playfully as he took Hedwig's cage for his godson.

The Dursleys again snapped back in fear from the mention of a werewolf. Sirius didn't think that much into it though, that happened a lot when muggles heard his friend was one.

"Oh sod off Sirius, but yes it is about time we got home it's almost five am."

With that, the whole group of male wizards left the kitchen with Remus in the lead. Once they were at the door, the Harry's godfather suddenly became aware of something Harry hadn't done yet.

"Harry are you going to say goodbye?" he asked looked purely puzzled.

"Oh yeah." He responded dully. Then he rolled his eyes, waved his hand over his shoulder without a care, and kept on walking with them.

Sirius and Remus turned back to see if they had at least waved back but were surprised when Vernon himself just rolled his eyes and muttered something to himself before shutting the door.

Using their wolf and dog hearing the older wizards were able to catch it and were unhappy when they heard that he said.

"Finally good to get rid of the evil freak of a blasted boy."

What on earth could he have meant by that? However their attention was quickly turned back to Harry who was speaking to them.

"So are we going back to grimmuald?"

"Actually no Harry, Sirius and I have found a very nice home outside of town not long from the Burrow." Remus answered.

"Yeah." Sirius said with a bark of a laugh, "I don't think I could have lasted a signal second more in that horrible house, we all know how much I hated it there."

He had meant for it to be a joke, even Remus and him had laughed together. They had both excepted their pup to also. But they were even more unhappy when by again using their good dog like hearing heard Harry mutter.

"Yeah I know exactly what you mean." clearly, there was more to the story at the Dursleys than Harry had let on in his letters.

In each letter Harry responded to them asking how the muggles were treating him with an "I'm fine here" or the ever popular "I have a lot of chores to do". Never had there been any real sign that he was sad or had been neglected.

However that reminded Sirius that once they were all settled in that he would never give Harry chores. For one they were magic and there was no real reason to, he would even hire a new house elf if he had to (he had hade enough of kreatcure (Sp?) in the last year after being sick of seeing him again). Though it was more for the reason that in every letter Harry would tell them he had chores to do or that he schedule was full of things he had to get done for the Dursleys. The thought alone disgusted him; he would never ask Harry to do anything for him. If anything he thought it should be the other way around, he would much more like helping Harry out.

But once again Sirius only made a mental note to discuss this at home, _their _home. It felt so good being able to say that, to know that Harry was finally living with him. In addition, he could go to every quidditch game he had and to all of his Hogsmeade trips Harry had without having to sneak around.

He had hated very much having to listen to Remus come home and brag about how much Harry was like James or something great Harry and he had done together when he was teaching. Nevertheless, you could barley call it bragging because he had asked the werewolf to share what Harry was like. Because even though Harry was his godson and he did not want to admit it to himself he hardly knew the kid.

Ron's teachings to him had helped eminently and If not that just made him laugh, but he never really got into a long conversation with him or Hermione for that matter about Harry.

That was something he planned on doing with Harry when they were finally together. You know getting to know him and all of that jazz.

But after what went down in Harry's room, he could clearly tell he would need all the help and new information he could get. It pained him to know that he would have to find everything out about his only godson but, twelve years in Azkaban without him and then almost a year locked up in a house with only limited visits from the golden boy would do that.

"Well this is the place were we stop, I'm fairly sure that the wards end here." Remus brought up breaking Padfoot from his intense thinking. As they stopped over by the park, It was only a little down the street from the Dursleys house.

"So how are we going to get there exactly?" Potter asked still unsure where 'there' was.

"By apparating of course, there's no better way to travel I say." Remus explained.

"That's only because you never like riding a broom or playing quidditch." Sirius said playfully as he nudged his friend in the ribs, he then looked over to his godson, "You do know how to apparate with some one don't you Harry?"

Once Harry nodded, he locked his arms with Sirius and Remus. (A/n I know that by this time, he doesn't but why don't we all just pretend.).

The next thing he knew he was in what looked to be an open countryside, not one much different from the Burrows. However right in the middle was not the Burrow but instead a house much larger than it, or the Dursleys for that matter.

Sirius and Remus smiled to each other at Harry's astonished face and the "Wow" he emitted once he could see the mansion of a house. Then they finally lead **their** Harry into their new home, the one where they could be a family.

* * *

This is… well I mean this is incredible." Harry proclaimed once they were in the new home, again in awe of the situation he was now in.

He would be living in the most beautiful house inside and out, he was always from the Dursleys, and he was with some of the people he cared about the most. It was the same feeling he had when he first got to Hogwarts and made his friends, But this time some how it was even better.

" Well I can see we did a good job picking it out eh." Remus inquired as he set Harry's trunk ( that he had picked up for Harry outside) beside the door.

" I think we did the bloody best job we could old Moony." Sirius laughed as he said this and took Harry once again by the shoulder.

The chosen one couldn't help but flinch a little at this sudden weight on his bruised shoulder. Sirius felt it but didn't pull away just unnoticeably loosen his grip. He couldn't believe that when Harry did flinch he thought it had been because he was afraid of him.

But silently in the dark comers of his mind the same question still lingered. Harry had acted perfectly normal with him before, he accepted his hugs, took his advice, and laughed at his jokes. However he still couldn't help but wonder if he was right and something had changed that year between him and Harry. Yes he knew he might have told or done something that might of upset his boy-who-lived. Though for the life of him he really couldn't place a finger on what it was.

" Blimey it's getting late Harry why don't you and I show you to your new bedroom hmm, tomorrow you and Sirius can work on destroying the place." Remus commented.

Sirius laughed out that bark laugh of his and patted his friend so firmly on the back that he fell forward slightly.

" And will make you clean it up we will."

At Harry's confused look the werewolf stepped away from his friend and then looked back to his cub to say, " Sirius you see has a knack for tearing places apart in his fun, I do say that the only time I've ever seen him clean was at grimmuald."

" Don't worry about it, I'm used to people that always make messes." Harry said, making them laugh before he added, " they always did it just to add on to my list of chores."

_Again with those blasted chores! Did the muggles ever stop giving them to the poor boy?_ Remus couldn't help but ask himself. Then he realized he was acting like Padfoot, with overreacting and so forth.

I mean a lot of muggles gave their kids things to do didn't they? So why did moony have this sudden worried feeling that Harry had indeed been given the wrong kind of treatment for sixteen years straight.

" Well then come on I'd love to see my room." Harry said as he grabbed his trunk and Hedwig from them and started towards the stairs.

Sirius and Remus followed him up the stairs, and then changed positions so that they could lead the seeker around the hallway and into his room.

They stopped every couple of minutes to point out their rooms, the drawing room, the bathroom, and of course Remus's study. Before Remus opened the door he added to Harry that the kitchen, the living room, the dinning room, and the laundry room was down stairs and he was free to use them whenever he liked.

Once they opened the door Harry was completely and utterly stunned at what he saw, that seemed to be happening a lot didn't it?

The whole room had been done in Gryffindor colors, the signature red and gold was on the comforter, his rectangular rug, and even on his curtains. Both the comforter and the curtains were the same, each were red with tiny gold lines running vertically down them.

But what really got to him wasn't the red and gold or the set up of the room. It was that they had hung up pictures of his parents, them all together, and him and all his friends. Including Dean, Neville, Seamus, Oliver, and others. (A/n I've always considered them to be really good friends of Harry's) there was even a little space to put up all of the awards and photos he had from the Dursleys.

He was even shocked to find out that he indeed had his own desk. Right there a little off from his bed was a large cherry wood desk that had a small chair beside it and two selves built into it.

That of course was all Remus's idea, he had said to Padfoot over and over again that Harry would need it for his schoolwork.

In the right hand corner of his room was a large double bed that didn't look that huge compared to the room. It was right next to the window, which happened to be the only thing that separated Harry's bed from the desk. No the room wasn't overly tiny or to large to make all his things seem to small. It was just as he wanted it to be, quiet and homely.

Harry felt like he could cry, even though he refused to. He had never felt this much emotion in one summer day. First it was fear then a calming one and now joy, today couldn't get much better than this. Before he had spent day after day in his dorm room that was packed because he shared it with four other boys, just wallowing in his own sadness about Sirius and that he would never have a real home with him. And now he finally had him and Remus too, which he hoped would make a regular family.

His whole life he was made out to be this big star that he really wasn't. He was sure that every one would laugh in his face if he told them the only thing the boy-who-lived wanted was a family. But he finally had all he thought he needed, all he had to do was get rid of that insane dark wizard that was chasing after him.

" I do hope you like it pup." Sirius said as he unlocked Harry's trunk and began to put the clothes in Harry's closet that was also very large.

Sirius and Remus couldn't help but smile themselves. They too were overwhelmed by the emotion of the whole situation.

James had meant so much to them and to be taking care of his son that was now like their own was a miracle for them. Sure they were happy to see each other again but when they were together all they talked about was Harry. They could catch up any old day, but they only had a young Harry now.

Harry was also happy that his room was across from his godfathers and down the hall from Remus's. He had no idea why it made him smile slightly but for some reason it was oddly comforting.

As Sirius unpacked what he thought Harry would need Remus pulled his cub aside for a moment.

" He chose the one across from you because you mean so much to him."

Harry couldn't help it when a small smile broke out on his face. That night was turning out to be exactly what he wanted it to be. Now if only he could do something about those ugly scars and bruises on him.

Maybe he could ask Hermione to find something out about using magic to get rid of them. But knowing her she would want to know what this was all about and he wasn't quite sure if he wanted her to figure it out just yet.

Sirius looked back to Harry and Remus with his eyebrows raised. He was curious to what his old werewolf friend had whispered to his godson but he chose not to use his keen dog hearing to ease drop on them.

" We can redo it into anything you like Harry if it doesn't please you." Remus added swiftly as he thought Sirius would ask what he was talking to Harry about.

He had known for a long time that Padfoot wasn't really that happy about people sharing his feelings, even if they were towards his only godson.

" No, no I think it's brilliant." Harry commented hastily. The last time he had said that about a house was about the Burrow. But believe me this was no Burrow at all, this time it was his **home. **

"Well then kiddo why don't you get a few more hours of sleep and then we'll wake you up for the new day." Sirius suggested, once most of his clothes had been put away.

Harry nodded before he settled down into bed and put his glasses on the small nightstand on the left side next to his bed. They had really thought of everything when they made it for him and he couldn't be happier.

" Night." he whispered in a yawn as he closed his eyes.

In the back of his mind he was very aware that both Remus and Sirius had said goodnight back. One of them had even gently swept some of Harry's bangs out of his forehead for him. But before he opened his eye's to see who is was sleep overtook him quietly.

For the first time in what seemed like for ever he slept without a worry of what would come for tomorrow.

(A/n I was think of cutting it off here but u decided to let you read more.)

* * *

Downstairs though everything was but peaceful for Remus and Sirius who were sitting each in a chair by the fireplace Remus had lit.

Sirius was overly worried about Harry's flinching away from him and Remus happened to be worried about what Sirius was thinking. He knew that the only time Padfoot ever thought that hard about something was when it concerned something of great importance and he only wanted him and Harry to have fun this summer. It seemed that they could never really catch a break with this war coming and once it was here then they would have no time for each other. But that was not the only thing our werewolf was worried about, he was also unhappy about what he had smelled.

" I just don't understand Harry was never this jumpy before!" Sirius finally gave in and shouted as he got up form his chair and began to pace around the room.

" Would you quiet down, you'll wake Harry!" Remus hissed quietly at him.

It seemed that only then it dawned on Sirius that Harry was in fact still upstairs asleep. So he shut his mouth and quickly sat back down in his chair with a sigh.

Suddenly something was back in Sirius's mind, " Moony what did you smell when we were at those bloody muggles house?" He was hoping that it would either tie into why Harry was acting different or change the subject so his mind would rest.

Remus seemed to take a moment to think over weather he was going to answer before he made up his mind to. Cautiously he swallowed hard knowing that his friend wouldn't like this.

" Blood and anguish." he choked out so that it was barley heard. He kept his gaze on the fireplace as if, if he stopped looking straight at the flame it would go out.

But Sirius decided to take a different route then being worried because he immediately shot back up from his chair in anger.

" Of course it has something to do with that." he proclaimed as he began to pace again, " I swear if I'll go over to those muggles right now and demand an answer if I have to."

Remus however knew he friend was telling the truth, he had another knack for rushing into things like he had done with Pettigrew. So he hopped up himself and grabbed Sirius by the arm and warned him to quiet down before Harry heard him and thought something was going on.

" Look Dumbledore is coming over tomorrow he owled me earlier today and said that he wanted to talk to Harry about something, we'll all come to a conclusion when he's here." Remus said as he wheeled Sirius back into his chair, hoping that that would be enough to get him to calm down.

It wasn't though for once lupin let go of his arm Sirius opened his mouth to say something back. Nevertheless he didn't have time to for right as he did a horrible scream was heard coming from Harry's bedroom.

* * *

**Thanks for reading for more review please. **


	9. Dumbledores visit

**Hey, people it's time fir chap nine since I got so many great reviews.**

**Disclaimer: nope still not j.k Rowling so don't ask again.**

**To laura-stewart: thanks for the reviews and yes I'll make Harry small, I can see him being some where around 5'4 or something close to it :J.**

**Oh and I know that Dumbledore isn't really himself but it's what i think he would say.**

** P.S if you want to know what kind of staircase and living room I'm talking about search double curved staircases on Google and find the master wood link at the bottom of page one.**

** And i still need someone who can write abuse scenes better than i can, were going to need them, or even ideas. feel free to message me on here anytime.**

**Now lets keep the story going shall we?**

* * *

Remus wasn't sure he had ever seen Sirius move so fast in his lifetime. Not when he was chasing Pettigrew or even when he was racing to save Harry for the department of mysteries. But then again he had never moved that fast either.

In a rush Sirius and Remus both ran up the one of the double curved staircases and basically flew on to the landing to head left into the hallway that would lead them to Harry's door.

As they got closer and closer to his room the screams intensified, it almost made Sirius get sick to know that a sound that painful was coming from his godson.

Finally, after what seemed like it took them eons they made it to his door that very fortunately didn't have a locking spell or silencing charm on it.

Remus made it to the door handle before Sirius could and opened it excepting to find their worst nightmare come alive about what was happening to Harry.

They both busted through the door with their wands at the ready and them ready to fight anything that was after their Harry. (A/n yes Sirius got his wand back after his trial.)

But they found no death eaters attacking their cub and no dark wizard over his bed hexing him into all this pain.

Instead, all they found was Harry curled in a ball on his bed with his eyes screwed shut and his screaming mouth and head buried into his own arms. Sirius and Remus could both see him shaking and sweating through the only sheet that he had on. You could tell by all of his blankets that were twisted up at his feet that he had kicked them off while he slept.

Once figuring out that Harry was in no moral danger and was, only suffering a terrible nightmare Sirius finally decided that it was his time to be a parental figure. Very cautiously he moved to Harry's bed and put one hand on the chosen one's shoulder and gently began to shake it and another on his forehead to rake his fingers through our seekers black unruly wet hair.

Remus took his position for when his cub awoke by kneeling at the edge of his bed and putting a hand on his forearm as he slowly tried to unfold Harry's arms.

"Shhh… It's alright Harry, wake up and it will all be over." Sirius whispered lovingly into the air hoping that some how the boy-who-lived would hear him. He knew that he sounded like he was talking to a smaller child and not some one like Harry at all but at the moment he could care less. He figured Harry would need the comfort after coming out of a dream that was that bad.

Once Harry's screams died down a little more to where they were just tiny growls from the back of his throat and his panting breath Sirius began to speak again, "That's it, come on pup wake up."

Some where in the back of his head Harry could tell that someone was speaking to him. Their tone was soft and comforting, but he couldn't seem to make himself wake fully.

Part of his mind was still stuck in his nightmare, no he didn't dream of Voldemort or of his parents dying again. This was one dream that lurked in the wide corners of his mind until summer came back around. This one dream never showed up at Hogwarts where he had many more things to worry about and was always the same. It always involved his uncle, aunt and of course his cousin, it always had him getting starved and beaten, and it always made his scream. But this time there was a twist in it.

Yes, most things had gone as they usually did his uncle would scream at him and knock him against the wall then all of the hits and kicks would start happening. Usually after that he would see his horse like aunt smirking and laughing in the doorway. Dudley would then walk up the stairs and join in on his uncles 'fun'. It would always end in him blacking out in his dream to the sounds of his uncles screaming about how he was useless and worthless and how much of an evil freakish specimen of a boy he was. The comments would get louder and louder until they became his reality.

He would always come back into the world with his uncle-yelling straight into his face to shut up and stop that miserable screaming because it was waking all of the normal people in the house up. Their little chat mostly likely would end in Vernon smacking Harry hard across the face and then stomping back into his own room.

Maybe that was why he was so scared to wake back up and why he kept clutching on to that horrible dream, he thought that his uncle would be the face he woke up to, not that soft comforting voice he heard some where in his brain.

But before I get ahead of myself there was a twist in his last nightmare. Instead of having him end it with him passing out as if a dementors were in the room this time both Sirius and Remus showed up and were agreeing right along with uncle Vernon, they then began to hit him as he uncle did before.

But they wouldn't do that would they? The very thought made him want to shake, when he was with them he finally felt safe.

Finally he some how convinced himself to come wake up and face whoever was there when he opened his eyes.

He was in luck when he did open them and in fact found his godfather and Remus standing next to him in his bed.

Sirius seemed both scared and relieved that Harry was awake; however when he looked over Remus looked overly concerned.

Then it dawned on Harry that they weren't as familiar to his nightmares as Ron or his uncles were.

"Harry are you alright?" Remus finally asked once Harry had taken enough time to catch his breath and grab his glasses.

Before he answered he looked over at Sirius and Remus and he scooted back into the corner between his wall and the headboard. He carefully drew his knees up to his chest and brought the blanket up to his waist while he took in a shaky breath and drew an even more shaky hand into his hair.

"Y yeah, yeah d don't worry at a all sorry for waking you up." he said with a slight stutter. He blamed it on the cause that they would do what his uncle Vernon did when he had them on privet drive.

No matter how hard he possibly tried he just couldn't shake that thought from darkening his usually bright mind.

"Harry you didn't wake us up we were just talking down stairs." Remus said in a soothing voice.

"Besides I missed out on half your life I should be able to give you some comfort for a silly old nightmare." Sirius said trying hard to hide the bitterness from his voice, the last thing he wanted was for Harry to get more upset. And some how he knew that Harry would blame himself for Sirius being locked away in Azkaban. He didn't know how he knew but he guessed it was because he knew Harry usually put the blame for things on himself… Even if he had nothing to do with them.

'Seriously guys it's alright, I've dealt with many nightmares before this one isn't different at all."

"Rubbish, cub come on down stairs and I'll get you some hot chocolate." Remus said as he stood up and held out his hand for Harry to take.

With a look to Remus's face and then one back to his offered hand Harry took it without a second thought. These men defiantly weren't his uncle Vernon. Once on his feet he was let go of Remus's hand and was lead by him out the door to go into the kitchen.

Sirius got up also and followed them outside the room and into the hallway, he steps landing right beside Harry's as the walked down the stairs though not a word was spoken between anyone as they walked to the kitchen.

"He always did have an obsession with chocolate." Sirius whispered quietly to Harry when they were

Sitting together at the table and Remus pulled a chocolate bar out of a cupboard to make hot chocolate with.

"I remember that form my third year." Harry said in a slightly airy tone. For some reason on his first day at his new home he didn't feel like talking.

"You sure you're feeling alright Harry?" Sirius asked. He was carefully eyeing his godson who was currently slumped over in his chair while crossing his arms on the table.

"Yeah I'm fine, just didn't get much sleep." Harry lied easily. He wasn't about to tell Sirius and Remus of his nightmare of his uncle coming after him. One of the things that did scare him though was that he was getting to good at this lying business. If he didn't stop then he would never be able to tell Remus or his godfather the truth about the Dursleys.

Without Harry seeing Remus looked over his shoulder at Sirius and gave him a worried look, it was one that he returned also. He thought that his godson would have been happy to be living at their home together but things weren't going the way he thought they would.

It was a good thing he had Remus with him. He had always been so much better at all that touchy feely stuff than Sirius was and by the looks of Harry he would need someone like that around.

"Would you like to go back to sleep?" Sirius questioned. But all Harry did was shake his head and added a quick really I'm fine before Sirius could open his mouth and protest.

"Well then cub drink up." Remus said as he gently sat a cup in front of Sirius, Harry, and then one down for himself.

Although Sirius began wolfing his down Harry took to just staring at his. Suddenly he wasn't very thirsty. He had a odd feeling like he wanted to be stuck in a room with out any light so he would have some time to just lie down.

But at the same time he also wanted to be around Sirius and Remus all day. This was even more confusing for him then when he didn't know why Sirius was avoiding him.

Desperate for a subject change Sirius looked over at Remus with pleading eyes. It happened that Remus had exactly what he needed.

"It's almost eight o'clock that means that Dumbledore will be here soon." Remus commented, while taking a second to look over at the flo entrance.

"Dumbledore is coming, why?" Harry questioned with brows frowning.

"I was wondering that too." Sirius jumped in.

"Here he sent this over yesterday…" Remus said as he went through his briefcase.

So he passed a large white piece of parchment over to Harry and Sirius, it clearly read…

_**Dear Remus, Sirius, and of course Harry,**_

_**I am very happy to know that you all are finally living together in your new home. I would also like to let you know that I will be visiting your quarters at promptly eight o'clock on Sunday. I am wishing to talk to Harry about an idea I have for him. With all the best wishes to you all in the wizarding world.**_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Albus Dumbledore**_

Harry must have read the letter over and over again. Why in the world would headmaster Dumbledore want to talk to him? Well… besides the fact the fact that Voldemort was back.

Before Sirius could open his mouth to comment on the letter that was sent, the clock struck eight. In addition, like clockwork Dumbledore entered their home through the roomy fireplace.

"Ah gentlemen thank you so much for taking time out of your day for this short meeting." the headmaster declared as he swiftly moved into the room.

Remus nodded with a smile while Sirius jumped right into his questioning.

"Dumbledore its Harry's first day here what in the world would you want to discuss with him?" Harry's godfather asked. Hoping that it was not about a random death eater or he who should not be named. He thought that his pup needed some time to relax before he went back into all of that chaos.

Moreover, in fact he was in luck, "I had a suggestion for our young Mr. Potter." Dumbledore said as if it was the simplest thing in the world. His eyes kept there blue twinkle the whole time he talked.

"What suggestion sir?" Harry asked tentatively.

"I would like you Harry to keep a pensive, one with all of your memories from the dursleys and from the wizarding world for if we shall ever need them again." he explained.

The chosen one happened to be very ok with idea. It wasn't as if he was training every day and it might help him later in some way. The only thing he wasn't so keen on was using his memories from the dursleys.

This was the wizarding world! Why would he need some one being able to look right into a cup and see the abuse that went on at the muggle house he used to live in?

Sirius happened to be on his side too, "No offence sir but why would Harry need a pensive?"

He was then meant with a swift kick to his shin under the table and a glare from Remus when he looked up. The old werewolf had never really been that happy about questioning the old headmaster's ways.

Dumbledore again seemed to come in right on time. " that Sirius Is because of the war, Harry is our main solider and a pensive will help him bring back old memories he might need and clear his mind for when he fights, with Voldemort being back and so forth."

Padfoot started to open his mouth again but before he could, Harry had his mind made up.

"I'll do it sir; it doesn't seem like that much work."

Remus gave a small smile to his young cub before looking back to the headmaster. He was proud at how willingly Harry would take on a new challenge.

"When will we start all of this?" the werewolf asked. Suddenly hoping that it wouldn't case his, Sirius's, and Harry's time together to be shortened. He didn't want to show it but he was just as giddy as Sirius was about having Harry live with them. They had gotten along quite well at Hogwarts and him being James's son and practically his godson to made it all the better.

"I would like to start with Harry on this tomorrow, it would give him a chance to settle in here before we start."

Sirius and Remus silently agreed with him. The next thing they knew they were all saying their goodbyes to the headmaster and watching him take the fireplace back to his office.

"Harry why don't you go upstairs and start unpacking and moving things around in your room, we'll cook some breakfast down here for you." Remus suggested.

For the first time that day, Harry looked up completely shocked. It was clear to him that he was no longer at the dursleys anymore.

If he were then it would be him cooking the dinner and since it was already about nine either he would be getting beaten for not having something right by then or he would be quickly eating the measly water, bread, and cheese they gave him before hi uncle thought to take it away.

So he stupidly opened his mouth, "I can cook it if you want Remus I used to do It all the time back at the dursleys." oh no, there was that subconscious talking again. The one part of his mind that always brought up the dursleys abuse…. The topic for them tonight, child labor.

"What?" Sirius asked trying not to raise his voice, something smelled fishy about this. It was that and the fact that the thought of Harry cooking made him feel guilty. As he had said before he would much rather be doing things for Harry then the other way around.

"It's nothing, just something I did when my aunt was busy." he said with a slightly shaky voice. There was that lying again also.

It was like one-step forward about the abuse he suffered then the next time he talked one more step back, clearly, he was getting nowhere.

Remus looked as though he didn't believe him and so did Sirius. So before the two brought anything up that would lead to Harry having a nervous break down in trying to cover it he hastily walked backwards while saying, " so, Remus was right I'll just go upstairs and put everything away."

And with that being said, he left a very confused werewolf and animagus in his wake.

"I have a feeling there's more to this than he lets on." Sirius commented once his godson was out of there sight.

Remus nodded in agreement with him. "I do too," he quickly turned around and walked from the dinning room that they had all been in to the kitchen that wasn't that far away.

That was one of the reason they got the house all the rooms had opened arch's and weren't circled each other. Both of the older wizards like the idea being able to be in different rooms and still see Harry. The werewolf began to put away the things from the hot chocolate he made and getting things out to start breakfast with.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sirius get up to head upstairs and talk to Harry.

"Leave him for now Padfoot, clearly after that he doesn't want to talk about it."

Sirius opened his mouth to again say something back but it seemed that Remus wasn't quite finished trying to convince him.

"And who knows maybe you'll get a peck into his pensive and see what has Harry all wounded up about this dursleys thing." He finished.

Immediately a wonderful idea popped into Pad foot's head. But he wouldn't share it with moony because he knew that he would intervene.

That's exactly what he was going to do he would look inside Harry's pensive.


	10. party planning

**Authors note please read!**

**Hello all who are reading! It's time for chapter ten. I just wanted to let you all know that I was reading my last chaps and realized I have this thing for cliffhangers don't I. I don't mean to put them in but I just seem to, sorry if it bugs you. Therefore, I'm tying to find a way to go easy on them. **

**Oh and another note before we read on, I came to realize that I'm portraying Harry as more of a young version of him. So I'll stop doing that and make him a little more grown up. Lol I blame that on the fact that I'm rereading all the books for like the third time and I just started book three again so I used to reading a younger Harry. **

**Disclaimer: we** **all know that I don't own any of this I just take pleasure I writing about it so on with our show don't you say…**

* * *

Sirius knew that Remus would freak out if he knew what Sirius was planning to do in his head. But then again he didn't know how much he needed to do this.

It was the only way that he knew he could reassure himself that it wasn't him that was Harry's problem. He wanted to know that his only godson wasn't upset with him in general. All the signs had lead to him thinking that he was the cause. The little flinches he gave, the way he stiffened when Sirius touched him, and the most recent sign was the way Harry wouldn't talk to him about anything. Weather it be the scars on his hand, or the way he would bring up something about his life before him and then drop it before Sirius could question anything.

Sure, he hadn't known Harry that well before he fell through the veil. But he knew that those tiny visits he gotten had to have meant something. Yes, they didn't talk that much when he was there last but then again when they did Sirius had been fairly sure that they clicked in some way. Maybe he had been wrong though….

He angrily shook those thoughts from his head. He knew that he at least had clicked with Harry or his godson would have never come to live with him if he didn't like him in some way. One thing was for sure though, he was completely loved the boy-who-lived.

He didn't care if he had part of Voldemort in him or if he was a little bit crazy. He hadn't told anyone this but he always thought of Harry as his son. So that was exactly the way he was planning on treating him.

Sirius knew that when they talked before he had fallen through the veil he said something to Harry that could have upset him but for the life of him, it still wasn't coming to mind. So he knew he had to do something to make up for it no matter what had happened in the past.

And right now, he knew that he had to make Harry as comfortable as possible. Or at least that is what he thought he should do. Maybe if he did then Harry would warm up to everything that had happened a little more. I mean it was only his first day wasn't it so why shouldn't he make it something that the seeker would always remember.

"We should do something for him." Sirius commented his thoughts aloud to lupin.

Remus gave him a curious look before nodding in understanding. It seemed that he thought Harry need some fun too.

"We should, but before we do I have gotten millions of owls from the Weasleys and Hermione that I have to answer, they all want to know if Harry is here since Dumbledore sent them that letter about your trail."

Suddenly the most wonderful idea popped into Sirius's head, "That's it Remus your brilliant!"

He got yet another curious look for his outburst but it all became very clear to Sirius what he was going to do. Now all he needed was Ron and Hermione's help in it all.

"How fast do you think we could flo Ron and Hermione here?" he questioned.

"It won't take that long, but with all three of us going it could take longer."

"Well then I or you will have to go alone, some one needs to distract Harry for the time being."

It seemed to be the day of curious looks because Sirius got another one from the former dada teacher before he went on, "so who will it be?"

Lupin thought for a moment before answering, "I could take Harry out for some of his new clothes in Diagon Ally."

"Well then its settled, I'll go up and tell him myself." and with a cheerful grin he went up stairs.

* * *

He went down the same hallway he had done only a couple hours ago. Soon he found himself at the same door that would lead him into Harry's room. With a swift knock he waited until he heard Harry's quiet "come in" and he slowly walked in.

He found Harry right where he thought he would be. He was currently putting all his books and things from the Dursleys up on the walls and in his desk.

He was dressed in a white muggle t-shirt one similar to the one he had worn the summer before ,over it he had red and black plaid button up (that he had grown more into since second year) and some huge black slacks on his legs. Hinting even more to Sirius that he needs some new clothes, preferably ones that actually fit him right.

"How would you like to go out and do some shopping with old lupin?" He asked while Harry looked up and noticed it was him.

"Will you be coming?"

It made Sirius's heart leap to know that Harry wanted to know if he would be there. But sadly, he had to let him down this time.

"Sorry buddy nope, I have some work to do, but you'll be glad to know you'll be getting a lot more then you might have at those muggles."

"What?" Harry asked finally fully taking his attention away from the ribbons he was putting up.

"I happen to have a lot of money from those blasted ministry workers who locked me up. I'm guessing that they gave it all to me so that I don't come after them or something."

This made Harry laugh so Sirius was glad he had said it. "So all that, with my money vault at Gringotts, your old one, and Remus's were sitting pretty for now aren't we."

"I guess we are pup." Sirius replied as he walked over from the doorway to Harry and ruffled his hair a little.

"Come on put that away for now and join me down stairs for some of Remus's pancakes." They both walked out of Harry's personal room and headed back down the stairs. Letting a comfortable silence fall between them as they finally entered together and sat down with Remus at the table.

It seemed that while they were chatting up stairs that Remus had taken the liberty of making the pancakes and putting them on plates at the table for them when they came down.

"Tuck in cub when you're done we're going to head out." Remus commented looking up from the daily prophet he was reading and his stack of pancakes.

* * *

Breakfast was finished faster than Harry would have hoped, but to Sirius it didn't come fast enough. He was to excited for what he had planned for Harry today. He figured that his only godson would need a lot of fun.

"Well then come on cant keep Remmy waiting now can we." Sirius said cheerfully as Harry had finished and he began picking up all the plates from the table. He even took the one that Remus was still working on.

He ignored his friend's protest making Harry laugh and walked straight into the kitchen, practically jumping up and down with how overjoyed he was.

For you see he didn't have a simple meeting with his friends in his new house planned for his godson. He was planning on throwing Harry a full out party.

Of course, Hermione, and Ron would be the first on the guest list and a part of making this surprise party happen. But not only that Sirius was picking them up extra early so that he could get some information from them.

Such as who else to put on the guest list, what to have, and what to do. As he had said before with Azkaban, being stuck in that terrible house, and the war starting he had no time to actually get to know the chosen one.

That however did not change the way he felt about him or the fact that he wanted to do something special for him. So the idea of a party was still on and who knew maybe he and Harry would bond, if he could tear him away from his friends long enough.

It wasn't long until he came back into the dinning room from kitchen and saw both Harry, and Remus getting up and putting on their jackets.

"Time to go Sirius we'll be seeing you soon." the werewolf said once seeing his friend in the doorway.

"Have a good time." he said back with a small smile of his own, which Harry returned.

Silently Harry grabbed Remus's arm and they both apparated out of the room leaving Sirius to all of his devious plans for when they got back.

He didn't waste any time getting over to the fireplace and floing (sp?) over to the Burrow first. He knew that it he could have made it over there by flying which would be a lot more fun for him. But due to the circumstances that he would indeed have to take back most of the Weasleys and Hermione back he decided against it.

* * *

Finally, he found himself almost falling face forward in the burrows living room. Where he could clearly see Molly's knitting needles working themselves, and the clock that told him where every one in the family was. It told him that all of the Weasleys were indeed at home right now, with the exception of Author Weasley being at work. But he really didn't except them to be anywhere else, it was after all the first week of summer.

"Sirius!" he heard Ginny cry out of either excitement or being scared. (A/n just so you all know, there will be no actual Ginny and Harry relationship in this just hints and hints of him and other girlfriends.)

"Hey Gin it's really good to see you, do you know where I could find Ron?" he asked quickly. He knew that Remus and his godson wouldn't take that long and if he wanted all of this down by the time they were home then he had to hurry.

She gave him a confused look at his frantic voice but responded, "Yeah it's great to see you as a free man Sirius, Ron's outside doing something or other, without Harry or Hermione he's been so bored."

He nodded and gave her a friendly smile and gently patted her on the shoulder before he went into the other room that would take him outside. He passed by the pan cleaning itself and the whole table full of dishes and a lone bowl of fruit. You could tell that they all just finished eating supper that morning.

As soon as he was outside, he saw who he was looking for. Ron was sitting under a tree hiding from the blazing sun that morning under its branches. He was no more then thirty feet away from him.

"Ron!" Sirius shouted to get the youngest weasleys boys attention as he ran to him.

Immediately seeing and hearing him Ron stood up with a large smile from his face and began to walk forward to meet the newly free man halfway.

"Sirius! I heard you got free and turned Scabbers in from Dumbledore that's brilliant." he shouted back equally as excited.

" yeah," Sirius replied lamely once he finally got over to him, he would have liked to have said more on the subject be he had more pressing matters to deal with.

"Look Harry's living with me now and I'm having a little welcome party for him so I'll need your and Hermione's help."

Sirius noticed Ron's eyes become wide as he spoke and a grin break out on his face. He seemed to be overjoyed by the fact he would see his best mate soon.

Ronald listened silently and nodded in places as Sirius went on and on about what eh had planned, where Harry was, and what they had to do.

"So I'll tell everyone while you owl mione, I don't think her fireplace is flo friendly."

"I completely forgot about that, she's muggle born isn't she." Sirius commented finally remembering that he couldn't in fact flo over to her.

Ron nodded at him, "Yeah, and I know her parents are nicer but I really don't want a repeat of what happened fourth year or second at the dursleys." he said with a grimace as they began to walk back inside.

Sirius gave him questioning look but continued on walking. He kept on adding all of these stories and question the list in his mind; it was get rather full with all the new information he would have to find out.

Once they were back inside they spilt up, Ron ran upstairs to tell his brothers that they would be leaving soon and what for, but only after showing Sirius were the parchments and quills were and what owl to use.

Sirius took the owl that he had given Ron a few years ago. He was quite scared that another delivery would finish off pig.

"Is it true there's…"

" A party happening at your house.."

Both Fred and George said at the same time. But after them visiting him at grimmuald, he had grown used to it and merely smiled.

" Yup and you better show up."

They both nodded and said they were going up to annoy Percy and commented that Ron was upstairs telling mum Weasley and dad.

Finally, Padfoot finished his letter for Hermione and sent it out the window, he then sat down on in a chair at the table and waited. Pretty soon, he knew that Hermione would send a reply and he could then apparate over to her and bring her back.

" Sirius!"

It would seem that if he had any hope of relaxing and waiting for Hermione to answer he was sorely out of luck.

Molly Weasley showed up in the kitchen and was looking very frantic. Behind her was Ron and Ginny both looking very sheepish. The probably didn't know that she would act like that.

" Ello there Molly." Sirius said while putting on as pleasant of a smile as he could. That woman still annoyed the living day lights out of him.

Nothing had changed since they were both stuck in his old mother's house together. Even there they both couldn't stand each other. But he still had to pull this off, for Harry. So he was going to be as fake nice as possible and grin and bear it.

"You don't even send a note! Just decide to show up and make them all believe that there showing up at a mysterious party _you_ had planned." clearly she didn't see this as much fun as Sirius did. But then again she had been a parent much longer than him and never as spontaneous.

" look Harry needs some one to cheer him up, besides it summer woman they all deserve to have some fun." he said as he threw his arms up over his head to make his point more clear. He could hear both of the youngest Weasley kids laughing at the way he talked to their mother, and it only ebbed him on more.

She gave a silent sound of disapproval but nodded nevertheless, she had known Harry since his first year at Hogwarts and if any one needed a break from a hard life, it was him.

Finally she gave in, " well alright but you better had them home by tomorrow before night falls." she declared. Looking back to Ron and Ginny she added, " I'm sure that you would like to stay the night."

When they both nodded in agreement she let out a sigh a went over to clear the table that Sirius was sitting at.

As if on cue, Author Weasley made his way down the stairs. He looked between a very stern looking Molly and the smiling Sirius and immediately knew what was going on. After all he was at grimmuald too and had to listen to them argue every night.

" It's alright molly, he's not going to do anything rash with Remus and Harry around especially since he just got free." he said quietly. Actually, he was trying to convince himself that what he said was true. He knew very well that Sirius had the trait f getting into trouble.

Sirius nodded as to tell him that he was right and casually sat back into his chair and propped his feet up on the table.

If anyone had saw him, right then than you would have thought he owned the place. Molly saw what he had done and promptly went over and swatted his feet off her table, almost causing him to fall backwards.

Once he caught himself, he steadied the chair legs on the ground. He gave Ron's mom a playful unhappy look, again causing both Ginny and Ron to let out a chuckle.

Suddenly the owl Sirius had sent flew back in though the window. He reached up and caught what was on his leg before molly could see.

He had a feeling that if she knew that he had just came in an used their owl without asking it would be another fight. He looked down at the white piece of paper and read…

**Sirius,**

**I'm so happy you're free! Yes, I can show up for Harry's party. Come apparate over anytime you want, I've read all about it and it seems very interesting. **

**Sincerely,**

**Hermione**

He finished reading her neat handwriting and pocketed her letter into his jacket. He gave a brief smile to all the Weasley that had accumulated in the kitchen and apparate out to get Hermione. Finally, things were getting fun.

* * *

**Ok so I don't really like this chap but just like the second one it was kind of like a hill I had to get over. **

**Just a side not I am a review whore so you know what that means don't leave that button lonely.**


	11. let the fun begin

**Hey guys just a quick author's note to clear some things up. First, back from one of the earlier chaps I said that Harry's room wasn't covered in blood when he was wishing it wouldn't be when he and Sirius went inside. I had meant to write that uncle Vernon or aunt Petunia had cleaned it up. Another thing is yes, was at work but he came home only a little while after Sirius had been there.**

**thank you to all that reviewed in telling me that it was floo not flo and with all that said lets go on with it.**

* * *

**(Caution flashback, D) **

"_You will sit here until your uncle gets home, just wait until he hears about this!" Harry could hear his aunt screech from her place in the kitchen while he stood quietly beside table. He didn't dare look over his shoulder to see her as she spoke. _

_He knew he would only see that wild gleam in her eyes and that stern look on her face with her lips puckered outward as if she had eaten a whole lemon. He got that face directed at him when ever he did something wrong that she couldn't wait to tell his uncle Vernon about. That was her weapon, those six words. Of wait until your uncle gets home, that's what always got Harry halfway scared. And by Merlin she knew it._

_Today was no different from all the other days that that look came about. He had of course done something that was unacceptable in her eyes. Just an hour ago after he had gotten home and began his chores. It would seem that he wasn't cleaning fast enough or the right way for that matter. Because it certainly caused his aunt to scream like that. All of a sudden the phone began to ring._

_Now usually it was always his job to answer it no matter who it was or what they were calling for. However that afternoon went a bit differently. Once upon seeing it was his school's number his aunt promptly made it to the telephone before he could. _

_Young Harry who at the time had only been about seven or eight knew that this wasn't going to be good for him. He could just tell by the way his aunt's face darkened and the way she would glare at him with those daggers for eyes as the voice on the other end continued its ramble._

_As she hung up the phone and looked straight at him with a fake calm face. _

" _It was your school's principal, and it seems that you were caught fighting at school!" as soon as she got what he had done wrong her voice got back to its cold screechy tone. _

_Now yes that was true but not all of it was. For you see he had been fighting, but the one who had started the fighting and was doing a very good job at beating him up was cousin Dudley and his gang. Of course once they were caught by the principal they told their dramatic tale, complete with fake crying. On how Harry had started it all and drug them into it. _

_Before the young wizard could say anything in his defense Petunia quickly grabbed Harry forcefully by the shoulder, and quickly walked him threw the house until he was outside. There she pushed him out and made him stand there in the rain with no explanation for it at all. All Harry would guess was that it was so his uncle would realize he did something wrong right when he and Dudley got back and punish him right away. For you see if his aunt wanted him beaten she would do nothing more than yell and threaten him and occasional he would get a frying pan to the head. But she would never actually dirty her hands with Harry's own blood, she would leave that to her husbands doing… while she watched._

**(End of flashback and on with why that was in there ,D)**

That was what Harry had the pleasure of thinking of when he was shopping with Remus. For he had just seen a boy no older than five be pulled out the clothing store they were in. it would appear that that one wizard kid had been trying to steal something from that Diagon alley store when he mother caught him. And while Harry watched he remembered very well how that had also happened to him but for less of a reason. Remus just ignored it all he kept looking through all the racks, if he had seen or heard anything when it happened he wasn't showing it. But Harry on the other hand couldn't help but stare and feel a bit of some foreign feeling as he knew that that was once him at privet drive.

But as soon as it came the feeling was gone and the mother and son were out of sight. Now he went back to feeling as embarrassed as he was before. For you see he had no choice but to shop at a store he knew for a fact that many third years would have probably shopped at for normal clothes too. But it wasn't his fault he was that skinny and on the short side.

Sure he was an inch or two over Ginny and he was pretty close to being the same height as his friend Hermione but that wouldn't stop him from feeling like the shortest person in the room when he stood by Ron or any other of his male friends that just happened to stand a little over him. He couldn't however deny the fact that he was short for his age of fifteen, after all he was only 5'2 and so very close to making the height of 5'3.

But after all those years of neglect, hatred, and starvation how could he not be. One of those alone was enough to put a short stunt on his growth, so imagine them all together.

" Do you think we have enough Harry?" Lupin questioned as he stopped looking through the rack and grabbed the pile of clothes he had for Harry that he set on a table showing off some new sort of quidditch pants.

Old Remmy had made sure that they spent an hour more than they needed. That way he could give his old friend Sirius enough time to make his evil plan unfold. Yes, he was nervous about what the semi crazy man had thought up but if he was doing it all for Harry than he would go with it all.

Harry agreed and before they knew it they had made their way over to the counter. If only the boy who lived knew what was planned for him when he would walk through the door of his new home. Maybe if he did then he would have been a little more excited.

-----------------------Meanwhile back at Harry's home---------------------------------------------

Things were finally starting to heat up. Ron and Hermione had made a list of everyone who in there mind should come and had began inviting people. And Sirius and the rest of the Weasley clan, such as Ginny ,Fed, George, and Percy were taking care of the rest of it all.

Speaking of Ginny she had her hands full with the two pranksters in her family. They were currently trying to make the drink cups come to life and chase people with one of their newest prank spells.

" Would you cut it out, I just set that up!" Sirius could hear Ginny yell, once again, from the kitchen where they were getting the food and drinks covered. He snickered quietly and let his shoulders shake slightly as he tried to hold his chuckles back.

He looked over his shoulder at the smartest witch of her age and Harry's male best mate. Who were equally trying not to laugh at Ginny's obvious distress.

They had been put in charge of the music and invites , Sirius believed that that would be easy enough for them. He in turn was responsible for all the lighting and set up. He was currently putting a spell in the stereo to make it larger and a hell of a lot louder and setting the different color lights up all around the room. If all of his spells and charms worked out on them then all of the lights would flash different colors and roam the room. Going along with what song was on of course, no one wanted to slow dance with some one while crazy lights flashed around. (A/n I have had that happen and its really annoying :D)

The free man had gotten his wand back right after his name was cleared. And he planned on using it all he could. After all once you're stuck in a cell for twelve years without magic and then locked up in a horrible house, equally without magic one would differently miss it. So once the idea of a party popped up into his head he knew it would be a perfect time to not only impress his godson but also get the hand of waving his wrist again. Today all of the things he had learned at Hogwarts such a long time ago seemed foreign and unknown to him. And here he was, all of this time thinking that it would be like riding a bike.

While at least he was getting the hang of it all. And with some help from Hermione he was starting to remember everything he, James, and Remus had once learned.

Speaking of the aforementioned shindig it was all going to take place in the ballroom. Sirius and Remus had both wondered why in Merlin they would have a room such as ballroom in their home or let alone need it, but it certainly was coming in handy for all of this.

After becoming more confident in holding and using his new wand Sirius had charmed the room to grow larger. Just enough to make the said party cozy enough without everyone on top of each other.

After most of his work was once finished the seekers godfather looked back over to his company who where sending out the last invite with Hedwig. Ron and Hermione where seated on the wood floor of the room with parchments and quills lying everywhere. Once the bird was out the window they began to mutter cleaning spells to pick everything up.

Together they had made a rather large list of all the people at Hogwarts and who once went to the school or were there now, that either were friends of Harry's or didn't think he was off his rocker.

They then would send out one of the three owls they had at hand and give out the invites they made. Making sure to tell people that they had to get there as soon as possible. Seeing that the party was that afternoon and Harry would be showing up anytime now.

" All of them are out!" Ron yelled happily as he ran over to the window and watched Hedwig fly away. Hermione and he had been using Hedwig, Errol, and Pig to send all the letters out. Sirius could only guess that Ron was so happy because he hand had to have been sore form sending out all of those parchments.

However Hermione, who was used to take obscene amounts of notes, didn't seem fazed by all of that writing. Sirius could have laughed at how much the young witch had been reminding him of Remus when he was younger. They both almost always corrected everyone on the way they said a spell if it happened to be wrong and they equally loved school and the work it involved.

" Come on it wasn't that much work." Hermione said with a roll of her eyes.

" Maybe for you! But I happen to be normal and hate writing during summer."

This time Sirius couldn't help the laughter that filtered its own way out of his lips. Harry and his group of friends were really starting to remind him of the Marauders (sp?). Hermione being as Moony was, Ron like himself at times, and Harry taking both the characteristics and looks from his father.

But what really brought him pride was the way that Harry sometimes gave him the memory of himself. He had no idea where he had gotten that feeling from, but he had had it ever since he meant the boy. It was sort of like they were connected, They both had a certain disregard for the rules (A/n remember that from Harry's 2nd year?) and they both had the trait of doing things with out thinking for either themselves or for the sake of others.

Yes, he knew that there really was no blood relation between the two of them, only the godfather and godson titles. And that they had not been around each other long enough to start acting the same, so when their actions were alike it was just as much of a surprise to him as it was to anyone else.

" They should be here any minute then." Percy said all while looking up from his clip board. He wasn't one to go all out for parties and would definitely like to be in his study doing his work. But he would never pass up an opportunity to schedule everyone and everything.

So that was his job, putting people into groups and telling them what exactly they were to accomplish in the short time they had at hand.

And he was doing a bloody good job of it from the way everyone else looked at it. He had a very good sense of time and was good at bossing everyone around.

" Who?" Fred questioned as his head popped out of the arch like entry way. Not a second after George's head also appeared. Making both of them look like they had lost their bodies.

" Harry and Remus, or the guests?" George asked right after his brother.

With a roll of his eyes about his younger brothers finishing each others sentences like they had the same thoughts, Percy coughed slightly to clear his throat and straightened up before saying, " All of them."

He declared it like it was the most noticeable thing in the world.

" Well the people Mione and I invited seem to be making great time." Ron commented from the window he was still looking out from.

Sirius promptly finished what he was doing and scrambled to get form the middle of the room where he had been casting spells to get over to the window located to the right of him. No it wasn't that much of a walk so he really needn't to run. But he was just that excited, it had been ages for him since he last threw a party.

It was at Hogwarts to be exact, his last year there too. Both he and Harry's dad had set up a rather large party in the Gryffindor common room for their friend werewolf on his birthday. After that things just seemed to complicated to have any fun parties thrown. Prongs had gotten married to his lily flower, there was the war still going on, and Harry had been born.

In his mind Sirius shook those thoughts out of his head. Thinking about his fallen friend would only make him sad and angry. And those were emotions he didn't have time for, right now he wanted to focus on his excitement for what Harry's face would look like when he saw what had been done for him.

Quickly Sirius brought himself back into his reality and looked out the window where Ron was. In the distance he could see brooms flying towards his home, a lot of them at that too.

They were kids Padfoot hadn't seen before, or let alone knew Harry had as friends. But by the look he saw on Ron's face these had to be the people he invited only earlier that morning.

As the time passed before he knew it the whole ball room was full of people and children alike. Some Sirius knew had to have graduated and others he had to guess where only in their third or fourth year at the wizarding school.

Everything had been set up and now all everyone had to do was wait around for Harry to show up. Then and only then as Sirius had made clear would things begin. When the golden boy walked through that arch way with Lupin then the music would start and people could stop hanging around.

And only then would Sirius's fun start too. He had heard from Ron himself and Hermione that Harry could dance fairly well but refused to on countless occasions. So he thought of it to be his duty to drag his godson out on to the dance floor and force him to dance along with his friends. (A/n My sister has done that to me, so believe me when I say it's not only embarrassing but funny as hell.)

However just in case his attempts were in fruitless he had made sure there was some exploding snap at hand and tables and chairs set up. I mean after all the whole party couldn't consist of dancing.

---------------------------------- with Harry and Remus------------------------------------------------------

It seemed that it took ages for them to get all the way home. The golden boy could exactly tell if the apparition trip had taken ages or if he just had this need to see his godfather again. Sure uncle moony, as Harry had started calling him in his mind, was loads of fun to be around. But he still couldn't shake this desirable need to be with Sirius and the former dada teacher at the same time. Like a dysfunctional family one could almost say. Just the thought alone about having a family with Sirius and Remus brought a small smile to his face.

And it stayed on his lips all the way into the hallway. Where Lupin had begun leading him into, from what the boy who lived had taken in form Remus's ramblings as they walked on was that they were heading into the ballroom they had in the house that Sirius had told them to meet him in.

The question of why they would ever need a ballroom in the first place jumped into his brain. But Harry saw it fit to dispel the thought and not ask. For some reason he didn't think that it would be the most polite question when it came out of his mouth.

Even before they reached the door they both heard the sound of voices being hushed and some one who Harry could only guess was Fred or George shouting there here. Only to be told to shut up by a lot of voices they both couldn't come to name, as they all seemed to come together.

_but that many people can't be here can they?_ was the last coherent question that made it's way into Harry's mind before he was standing in front of the arch.

Right as he came into view he was almost trampled by all the people that wanted to greet him. He also saw all of his friends. Consisting of Oliver Wood, Hermione, Ron and the rest of the weasleys, Neville, Seamus, Dean, and to many more to count. The whole room was filled with people, even some that Harry himself had only met once in his life. But he was happy nevertheless, this kind of fun stuff never seemed to happen over the summer for him. Maybe living with two of the marauders was going to be a ton more fun than he had planned on.

So he took in all of the smiles and greetings and pats on the back that he could. And tried to hide all of his little flinches or barley audible gasps of breath when some one accidentally touch a scar or cut that hadn't quite healed yet. All while knowing that this could be one of his last happy summers before he went back to school and was forced to battle he who must not be named yet again.

With one last unexpected hug form Mione and a friendly pat on the back from Ron, Harry was grabbed around the shoulders by his godfather and ushered into the room. Where he joined the crowd of familiar faces.

He heard Remus laughing behind him while still standing in the arch it be from just now finding out what sirius had planned was not harmless or from the way everyone came at him at once, Harry had no idea.

Harry tried to carefully put on a believable fake smile and walk as quickly as his godfather was leading him. The fake smile was all becuase of sirius leading him around the room with him unnoticably digging his fingers into the skin Remus had irritated only one day ago, which happened to hurt a considerable amount. His fake emotions were also linked to him hating to be the center of attention, which was what he happened to be right that moment.

It had been one of his pet peeves his whole life really. He loved solving things and having a part in it all. But he never enjoyed getting followed by Rita Skeeter or being hounded by any other sleazy reporters from the daily prophet. which really was always a problem for him becuase he happened to be the boy who just couldn't die.

Harry held it together and tried to pay attention to everything that sirius was saying to him on the way to a table that just came inot his view. But as the music began to play Harry jumped a little out of shock, about that and about how the lights dimmed down a little.

So Sirius just pulled Harry closer to him and tightened his hold on the boy a little more. Knowing that all of this happening at once had to be a lot to take in he linked that to why Harry suddenly tried to twist away once Sirius felt him jerk slightly and moved him closer. No really knowing that he just dug his nails down deep into one of Harry's scars. So he loosened his hold on his godson and looked away. Trying to blame the surprise on why Harry reacted the way he did, and force those thoughts he had only yesterday about Harry being afraid of him out of his mind. He even tried to make the sadness come out of his grey eyes before he had the courage to look back at Harry.

However Harry did see his eyes sadden and he couldn't stop himself from feeling quite quilty about causing it. So very lightly he put is hand over Sirius's and made him tighten his grip more before lowing his own hand. He had gotten good at blocking out pain and planned on using that skill all while they got to the table and sat down ,to make sure he didn't think about all the pain those fingers on his bruised flesh were causing him.

He didn't have to for long though. Just as soon as his godfather tightened his grip he let go so that Harry could sit at the table in a chair facing his. they sat there together for a short time so that Sirius could let his only godson hang out with his mates. Sirius explained that this party was sort of a welcome to a new home party and that it could go on all night if need be. They only talked for a few more moments after that and Harry was surprised that they only had about two interruptions form Colin asking if he could have an updated picture of Harry to put on his wall. It would seem that he had looked at the ones his took form Harry's second year so much that they had worn out.

The said seeker had finished his conversation with his godfather and they were both about to get up and have some fun themselves when something or some one was more like it caught Harry's eye. That person just happened to be Cho Chang. Behind her he could see Ron smiling slightly and at that moment he knew that it had been Ron's idea to invite her just to annoy him. No they hadn't broken up yet, but it wasn't really like they were a couple anymore. And with him being rubbish with girls he had no idea what to do. Should he dance with her? Or should he ignore her the whole time, which would probably make her cry again.

The boy who lived looked over at his godfather when he became aware that Sirius was still beside him. With one glance back he then looked back to the crowd right where Cho had once been. She had disappeared in the crowd but it only took a few seconds before she was back in his view.

She lightly waved at him and smiled before turning back to one of her girlfriends that she was dancing with. At her gesture Harry tried to keep the red from coming up into his cheeks but he couldn't. he looked away and tried to cover himself before looking back up.

Sirius just cocked one eyebrow as he godson went from once being very put together and excited to looking very embarrassed. So he took his gaze from Harry and followed it to where he had been looking. There he saw Cho, who still happened to be looking at Harry and blushing slightly also.

He swiftly made his way away from Harry before the seeker could realize he saw anything between the two. And he went over to find Ron.

Oh this was going to be hilarious.

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Sorry this took forever but I haven't had any ideas come to mind for how to write this up until now. So it may be a little bad. I've also always loved the thought of Sirius finding out about Cho and Harry, even if a am into Harry and Ginny.

SO before I go I ask you to please review and tell me what all of your evil little minds come up with how Sirius could embarrass Harry and Cho.


	12. personal goodnights

**Hey guys it's time for chap 12. I didn't really like the last one so hopefully this is better.**

**Oh and just a random question, who here likes abused Harry as long as he isn't balling his eyes out. I do but I've met a lot of people that don't so review and tell me your opinion. But just a warning if you're no into that kind of stuff I suggest you don't read this story.**

** this is just a short chap that i wanted to add in so enjoy all ,D.**

**Disclaimer**:** no I'm not j.k, my writing doesn't even come close to being as good as hers is**.

* * *

The whole night seemed to remind Harry very much of the Yule ball from fourth year. The only alternative was that no one was really dressed up in fancy dress robes.

But just like at the Yule ball Harry sat at a table, this time without Ron or their upset dates, and watched everyone else dance. Sirius had tried not once but at least three times to get Harry to dance.

Finally after failing he decided that it was better just to let Harry enjoy himself so other way. So after about two games of exploding snap in the comer of the room with some of his friends Harry found himself right where he was now.

No he wasn't bored or feeling alone in anyway. He liked being by himself some time, it gave him a chance to think things over. That and time to watch his friends act like fools and have a good laugh too.

But this time and moment Harry wasn't just thinking about simple things like what he was going to do tomorrow, or even more complex things like how he was going to survive the war. This was some where in the middle of what usually crossed his mind.

Right at the moment while he watched Remus and his godfather talk and all of his close friends dance and laugh he realized how stupid he had become. All of this time he was dreading the future and spending most of his time feeling sorry for himself. If you asked him right now you could bet that the way he would describe his old behavior as pathetic. And he was getting bloody well tried of it, so that night he made up his mind. Once all of those bad memories that he would always concentrate on were inside the pensive then they would leave his mind.

He didn't know for sure if he was thinking like that because Sirius spiked that punch perhaps or if it was the way he wanted to be carefree like everyone else he saw in the room. But in his mind he had his mind made up about letting go of the things that depressed him and not to bring them up again, no matter what the reason why was. If only he knew that on the other side of the room someone was having very close thoughts to his.

* * *

Sirius stood over by a wall on the right side of the room, with a scowl across his gaunt face. It was a way to mock Moony in how he was supervising everyone. Not to long ago Sirius was having a conversation with the former dada teacher and was trying every hard to make him have some fun.

But as always Remus made a choice to be the adult and simply watch and laugh from a far while all of the younger kids had fun.

But just because Remus refused to act less than his age didn't mean that Sirius had too also. He had spent most of the night thinking about ways to get the girl Harry was looking at before and Harry together. He had even come up with a plan to make Ron, Hermione, and himself push the pair together for the next slow dance that came on.

Before he knew it he heard the soft lyrics hit the room which was a change from the upbeat tempo that had just been going on. His knew that this was his time to go through with it all and get them together.

Everyone in it had already agreed to, so once Sirius gave them the signal they said they would help in anyway possible, because this was to good to pass up.

The godfather was about to give it to Ron and Hermione when Harry caught his eye. He was right where he had left him yes, at the table all alone. But this time when he looked over at him his expression had changed by far.

What was once a carefree look went to one of a more concentrating person, some one who was very deep in thought.

Sirius of course blamed it on the stupid war that his godson had to be a major part of. He knew that that must be hard to deal with at his age. An age that wasn't even a full grown wizard yet. Hell Sirius couldn't even imagine having all of that pressure put on him when he was that young.

When he was that age all he worried about was his parents and weather or not he could get a good date to the dance, or if his new prank would work. And in his mind that was exactly what Harry should have the chance to do.

They both should be able to put the past away for good and live happy lives. Nevertheless all Sirius could do for now was pray that Harry would make it out alive from all of this rubbish so he could finally live.

Sirius had to get past all of those years of feeling guilty about changing secret keepers with worm tail and he had to forget all of those nights he spent alone in the cold rotting cell of Azkaban. And he knew for a fact that the only way to feel better was to have Harry and Remus beside him as support.

So he only hopped that he could be there for Harry in the ways that he knew he would need him too.

Suddenly the plan was off and he didn't feel like embarrassing Harry that way. Now his normal self before all of this hard thinking came in and before Azkaban would have done it anyway. But this one time he couldn't bring himself to go through with it.

Instead all he hoped to do was walk over to Harry and wrap him in a hug. However, his better judgment told him other wise. He knew that that would only embarrass Harry in the way that he refused to do now.

He wanted to tell the teen that he knew what he had been through and it was all going to be ok. For once he wanted to grow up for a night and comfort some one who really needed him rather than watch bad things happen when he couldn't help.

But his problem now was that he wanted to do that for Harry and he just couldn't, well not yet at least. Not tonight and not now, because he knew he would just be lying if he did. Because no he didn't know what Harry had been put through because of the dark lord and he couldn't understand it because Harry never really brought it up and gave him chance to.

Though who could blame him for not wanting to reminisce. In grimmuald from what he had heard from Ron and Hermione before Harry arrived was that his godson had had a hard time at Hogwarts every year.

There was voldemort threats at the school every year from what he gathered. And the only time there wasn't was in his third year at the school. So Sirius couldn't help but feel a little guilty, from knowing that it was his fault Harry didn't get his one year of peace. But then again if he didn't break out than they wouldn't have had each other, just like prongs would have wanted, so the godfather just guessed that things all worked out in the end.

So he made up his mind right then, he was going to help Harry get through his past so that he didn't have to think about it or talk about it anymore. And the whole time he would do the same thing, that way it would help them both.

But first he had to look through the pensive Harry made tomorrow. Sure he knew Harry would be upset if he found out but he also knew that it was his only way to find out by being there with Harry in the past. In a way to speak that is, he would only be with the younger Harry and not the one that he looked at today.

Sirius though was willing to do it anyway. It didn't matter if he saw something he didn't like, and he was sure at some point in it he would. He would watch anyway and hopefully it would make him and Harry closer.

So that he could finally be the parent Molly Weasley always told him he wouldn't be.

* * *

Finally the guest one by one started clearing out and the party was coming to a finish. And the whole time Sirius and Harry just stood by each other and said goodbye to everyone that was leaving. Both of them refused to tell the other the thoughts that they had only an hour or two ago.

Sirius noticed with a coy smile as well as Remus who chuckled they way both Cho and Harry blushed as they hugged each other.

For a moment Sirius thought that they would kiss. From the way they almost leaned into each other and how they were taking way to long to say good bye.

But Colin came running over to get a personal goodbye from Harry and ruined the mood. So sooner or later both Cho and Colin left.

Leaving only Remus, Sirius, Harry, Hermione, and Ron with the twins and his younger sister. That was the group that was staying the whole night with them.

Remus took the kids up stairs to show them where they would be staying. After saying goodnight to Sirius and Harry of course.

The twins had their own room, Ginny and Hermione would share, and Ron and Harry would stay together, just like old times.

The group soon disappeared down the hallway and up the long twisty type of staircase to vanish from Harry and Sirius's view.

Harry wanted to say goodnight to Sirius personally so he told the others that he would join them soon.

Once they were gone and the sound of foot steps vanished Harry knew that he only had some time to catch Ron still awake so that they could talk. Something that they really didn't get to do at the party.

Harry had given him his space and let him dance with Hermione for a few songs just so that he might feel a little more brave and confess his feelings to her.

But after three songs they both seemed to stop talking and went over to hang out with Harry. That only lasted for about thirty minutes before Hermione was asked to dance again by some other boy making Ron jealous. And Harry took him over to the side to play exploding snap with him just so that he would stop ranting and staring at them together on the dance floor.

Sirius picked up on Harry's sudden feeling of urgency to talk to his best mate being the dog he was and all. So he sped things up and walked over and eloped Harry and a big hug, on that he happily returned.

The chosen ones godfather gestured to the staircase. Seeming to understand him Harry nodded and they began to walk up for bed. They keep their conversation going the whole time they walked.

" So who were all of those people mister BWL? Were they all friends of yours?"

Harry shot his godfather a curious look at the nickname he had used on him, causing Sirius to explain.

" Oh come on BWL boy who lived, don't you get it?" Sirius asked with a smirk. He had thought that it would be funny but he didn't expect his godson's face to promptly sober.

He stopped on the third to last step and grabbed Harry by the elbow making him halt to. Normally this would have made Harry think of uncle Vernon doing it to him and cause him to freak out. But as he looked directly into Sirius's grey and still haunted eyes he knew he didn't have to be that afraid.

" What did I do?" Sirius ask sincerely.

" Nothing I just hate being called that, no offense at all but I like being just Harry."

Sirius laughed that bark like laugh of his and nodded in understanding. " Well then just Harry I get your point," he paused and looked over at the rather large clock on the wall the suddenly chimed that it was midnight, " but since it's so late you'll have to answer my question tomorrow, night pup."

As Harry nodded too he gave him one last hug and the golden boy said goodnight in return.

They walked over and began to open the doors to there rooms when Harry suddenly got Sirius's attention again. He didn't know why but he just felt like he had to say it.

With a small mile Harry looked over at his godfather and said " Thank you, for everything." that was all one simple sentence, that meant so much.

"You're welcome." Sirius said a bit taken back by what Harry had brought up. And he watched as the younger boy opened his door a little more and walk straight in and shut it.

Once he was out of sight Sirius closed himself inside his room and slide against the oak wood door till he had his back to it and was sitting in the cold wood floor.

He ran his hand through his hair and gave out a quiet sigh. For some reason he knew that that meant more than what Harry was letting on. He also knew that he had a very big day in front of him tomorrow. That was the day that he would find out all of his godson's hidden moments that he wouldn't talk about.

Sirius would then find out how different Harry and James were and how much of Harry's life and the moments in it he hadn't been there for. And for some reason thinking about all of that made him feel like he wanted to cry.

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**yes i know it's really short but if u like it please review and u shall recieve more (hint, hint) 3**


	13. couldn't sleep

**Wow, I cannot believe it took me this long to write another chapter. However, with school and jobs and all I have been busy. Though, it's here now so hopefully u haven't stopped reading.**

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Normally you would have to have a blow horn and a forklift to wake Sirius, but not this morning. In fact, he couldn't remember if he had slept at all. He was tossing and turning all night long, wondering what tomorrow would bring.

Thoughts that he hadn't thought of when he came up with the plan crossed his mind. Things like what if Harry freaks out because he looked in without his permission. And worries from what he would see in Harry's past. Sure, he had found out that Harry and the dark lord had a special connection and had dueled every year almost in the past. But he never really found out if Harry had been tortured or what had gone on in those years he was stuck brooding in a cold cell with only the dementors to talk to. No one really bothered to give up information on what had happened in some of the encounters and some claimed that they simply didn't know at all. Clearly stating that Harry was usually always alone when the battles they had went down.

He had felt guilty the whole night while knowing that if only he had been there than maybe Harry could have gone to him for help or maybe he could have stopped his godson from seeing some of the things that he knew only a few had gone through and lived to tell about. If only he hadn't gone after Peter than he would have had the chance to be there. Than maybe, he wouldn't be stuck still awake with worry about the past at four and five in the morning.

Finally, he figured out that he had to go through with it all. No matter how much he felt guilty or how much he wanted to take back what had happened he had to see what the said golden boy held back from the real and wizarding world. Sirius knew that he wanted either him or moony to be who the seeker knew he could run to if his friends couldn't help him. And for that to happen he knew that he needed to know what went on in the past.

He had found out early from Hermione that Harry didn't like or want pity. That he just wanted to be treated like everyone else and did not really like to gloat about how he had beaten Voldermort at his own game once of twice. So it lead him up to the conclusion that he could never really just walk up to his godson and ask him to explain in detail what kind of horrors he had gone through. There was no way in hell that he would want to make Harry relive every single horrid moment. The ex- convict already felt bad enough for doing it in his fourth year at Hogwarts (A/n in the book) and knew that he couldn't do that again. To just have to sit there and watch Harry's eyes slowly glaze over with some unknown emotion after describing to them what he had gone through.

So he had it all deiced and planned by morning. The whole night to think about it thoroughly had really given him the idea that by looking inside the pensive it would be easier for him to grasp Harry's past and easier for him and the boy who lived to talk about later if he saw it first hand.

The day would go on as normal, no one but maybe Remus knowing what would happen later. Then everyone would slowly leave, and Dumbledore would show up right on time as always. After Harry had laid his memories in the drawing room, he would wait until nighttime when not a soul would walk in on him and then take his choice of memories and watch them through. Up until he thought he knew a little more about Harry's younger days.

His mind started to began to dream up some horrors about what had happened between Harry and the dark lord when he heard a crash and some laughing coming from the hallway.

It would seem that Harry and his friends had woken up and Ron being half-asleep still had walked straight into a wall, or at least that's what Sirius saw when he poked his head out of his room.

The boy who lived caught his eye when Sirius walked out of his room still chuckling to himself about Harry's friend. Harry sent him a shy smile before Ron shot up from the ground and threw his arm around Harry's shoulders to steady himself. Promptly knocking Harry off balance and him off balance and making the group release another round of laughs.

"Having fun this morning I see?" Sirius questioned with humor in his tone.

"Yup." Harry replied as he stood up and offered his hand to Ron.

As if the hallway wasn't full enough Remus came up the stairs. He promptly raised a single eyebrow at everyone that was currently being filled by all the people that had been in their house yesterday.

" Well since you've all started your day in such a fun way, you'll be glad to know that breakfast has been taken care of." and with that he left, though you could still hear his laughs echo down the hall when he herd the stamped of people heading downstairs.

The only ones that didn't though were Sirius and his godson. The seeker had watched his friends run into the kitchen like the hungry teenagers they were before he looked over to Sirius, when he noticed that he was still there, and gestured with his hands for him to go ahead.

The ex-convict just shook his head and walked over to Harry and threw his arms around his shoulders before starting to lead him down the hallway.

* * *

Breakfast went quite normally that morning, for everyone but Sirius. He was very content with the moment he had with his only godson that morning. Where they had taken a detour to get to the kitchen and Harry had answered his questions from last night that they did not get to.

Now he was happy just to watch Harry, Remus, and Harry's friends interact with each other. There was Ron stuffing all the food he could mange into and down his throat and mouth. Hermione and Ginny were happy just talking a giggling about something or another. He was also very amused to notice all of the looks and the quick glances that were shared between the youngest Weasley's and Harry, he could vaguely remember when he was that age.

Then on the other side of the table his godson and the twins were going over some thing. And from Sirius's eyes it looked to be very interesting to Harry and fun for Fred and George to go over. He made a mental note to himself to ask about it later… that was if Harry was still talking to him then.

Each passing moment he spent with the young fifteen year old he felt worse and worse about even thinking about looking into his personal memories. He was starting to think about it like an invasion of privacy again. This was what had him so worried that once Harry found out about it, if he did, then he would never trust or talk to him again.

He knew that he was only being melodramatic about it all. That there was no way no matter how upset Harry was that he wouldn't stop being around him at all. But no matter how much he tried to convince himself what he knew was true he couldn't help but have his doubts.

All of that combined on his worried thoughts about what happen in Harry's past made his face start to droop and causing him to pick at his food. Even if the rest of the people in the house didn't notice Remus did. He shot Sirius a cautious glance, one that the animagus could only shrug back to.

There was one good thing about that breakfast though. It was that it gave Sirius enough time to think over if he was going to look or not before Dumbledore showed up. And by the time that it was over and all the food was gone Sirius had made up his mind. That he had to do it no matter what the consequences might be.

* * *

The day was going by way to fast for Sirius and Remus liking. They had just recently taken home everyone that he been over that night. Moreover, just moments ago Dumbledore had flooed in from the living room. Secretly both of the older wizards had been dreading this moment, they both just refused to tell each other about it. Remus knew that there was something wrong with Sirius's today. He had been too jumpy lately and there were times when he was found getting lost in his thoughts when he was staring at the-boy-who-lived. Though he made sure that his insecurities about the whole, pensive ideas were never noticed.

He planned on taking care of the others worries before his as he always did. Nevertheless, that did not stop him from occasionally throwing a weary glance at Sirius or Harry that day. To be fair he was worried about both of them. Sirius because of how nervous he seemed to be that day. And for Harry because he knew that there had to be some moments in his past that he defiantly would not want to experience again.

* * *

It was shocking how things, such as time, could change at such fast rates. Only five minutes ago, Harry's guardians could remember thinking that time was moving way to fast. But now both of them were hoping that the clock would speed up.

Harry was inside the room alone with Albus; currently spill his memories into some sort of bowl that Dumbledore had brought in specially.

The clocks on the wall just went ticking away as the older wizards paced back and forth in the bare living room. Everyone else was in the drawing room, the one room that Sirius and Remus could not go into. Something about privacy and needed space was what Dumbledore said.

And right before Sirius was about to pull out his hair and Remus was about to fall head first into the book that he had been trying to read Dumbledore stepped out of the room behind Harry, with a hand on his shoulder.

"Young Harry happens to be very tried after today's activities, I believe that some sleep would be in order."

It was then and only than that, Sirius noticed that the pensive ordeal had been going on for three hours straight. Both of nodded at Harry and Albus as he was lead up the stairs by Remus, because he was feeling slightly dizzy. And Sirius stayed behind to bid Dumbledore a good bye. Once Albus was gone and he was sure he that Remus or Harry would not be coming down the stairs anytime soon he took one more look around. Before walking into the door that Harry had just exited, shut it, and locked himself in. The only thing had had to do know was chose which memory or moment from the golden boys past to watch.


	14. room full of mermories

**hey guys since you've all been so nice and reviewed I decided that I should give you all another chapter. However since school is now out for me I guess these will be coming more often ;). I did have a question though, do you think that Snape should become a friend or stay foe with Harry and his new family.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the passages from the books that I may use in this chapter of With the Dursleys.**

* * *

The room had to be full of memories in little bottles from Harry's mind. It would look as if Dumbledore and Harry had totally taken apart his brain, that Harry had no past experiences left inside his head. The headmaster had mentioned earlier when he had first shown up that he was going to give the seeker complete privacy while he pulled out his memories. He had explained that there was no way that he was going to look at any of Harry's memories, that he would only be there to help Harry through the process and to help him file them.

Thinking he should started from the beginning Sirius went over to a shelf labeled "Early years at Hogwarts." he let his eyes skim over all of his choices trying to choose a simple memory to start with. Finally he picked out Harry's sorting, thinking that it would be nice to see his godson at such a young age and see him be put into Gryffindor.

Slowly and gingerly he picked his chosen memory and located the bowl was left in the room. Carefully he put the memory inside of the bowl (A/n I have no idea how to do that so will just write it like that) and lowered his head into it.

-a scene from the first book (Pg. 121)-

_Sirius found himself back inside that Hogwarts castle that he hadn't seen in such a long time. All over were the small standing first years and the older students who were sitting at their respected house tables. All of a sudden the sound of old McGonagall yelling "Potter, Harry" filled his ears. He looked over and slowly moved to the stage by his godson's side so that he could hear what was going between Harry and the sorting hat. _

" _Hmmm, difficult. Very difficult plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, oh my goodness yes- and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting… so where shall I put you?" the sorting hat said to Harry, loud enough that Sirius caught it. _

_He felt his heart swell with pride at what the hat had said to his godson. The only thing he got when he had that dumb old hat on was a trouble maker I see, and a Black to, so how about Slytherin? After some begging and pleading on his part the hat settled on Gryffindor. And that seemed to be exactly what Harry was going through at the moment. _

_Sirius could hear Harry whispering under his voice, " __**Not Slytherin, Not Slytherin.**__"_

" _Not Slytherin eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on your way to greatness, no doubt about that- no? Well, if you're sure- better be __**Gryffindor**__!" _

_The last thing he saw before everything started to spin and colors faded into each other was the young Harry walking over to the Gryffindor table and Fred and George yelling " We got Potter! We got Potter!"_

* * *

Sirius had to take a minute to sort out his thoughts before he moved on to another memory. Harry was so tiny and looked so fragile at his young age of eleven. So much like the first time he saw James and so much more different from the sixteen year old he was today.

He sighed quite suddenly knowing that he had to get to the painful moments now. He scanned over the shelf again, trying to chose something that would help him piece together Harry's first year. And the suddenly his eyes caught on to a certain one that read " going after the sorcerers stone".

The ex-convict had remembered Moony telling him that he had learned about the sorcerers stone in some book he read during their early years at Hogwarts, but back then he couldn't care less about what his best friend found inside a book.

Repeating the process of putting the memory in the bowl and dropped his head back in he was put into the memory.

-_since most of you reading this have read the first book I'm going to skip this describing it-_

He must have been inside that bowl for an hour of so. In fact the memory was so long that it didn't stop until Sirius saw Harry passing out while holding the stone.

His heart was pounding hard against his ribs and he had begun to sweat. Yes he knew that Harry had lived, seeing as that he was asleep upstairs right now, but that didn't stop him from worrying about his only godson while he ran after Harry and watched his fight with Voldemort.

All of a sudden he was glad that he didn't know Harry back when he was younger. Because if he did then he was sure that he would have taken Harry out of school his first year out of worry. There was no way that he could sit at home and wait for the next holiday to come up while his godson got himself into all sorts of trouble.

-_ hours later-_

Sirius had contented himself with going through Harry's first and second year moments. He actually had finished them all of. He had learned all about the sorcerers stone and the chamber of secrets. To be honest he almost had a heart attack when he learned that his godson was a parseltongue. He was defiantly going to ask Harry about that later.

And finally he had no other choice no where to run to. He had to look at Harry's time at the Durselys. He had already gone through most of the memories that he was there for and refused to look at the ones from fourth year and fifth because well, he was sort of there. Not all the time but at least he was around for Harry to run to those times.

In all truth he was very worried. Professor McGonagall had told him when he asked her about them that they were the worst sort of muggles that she had ever laid eyes on. He knew that his mother was horrible to him but he couldn't imagine what would happen if he had to live with a bunch of muggles that hated him. Especially if he couldn't use any of his magic on them!

So slowly as if to save some time he reached over the shelf called " The Durselys." it surprised him to find out that none of these memories were labeled like ones from the other shelves. Sirius could feel his eyebrows knit together as confusion and curiosity took him over. Now that was certainly odd, he couldn't figure out why Dumbledore or Harry wouldn't want them labeled. Maybe it was that they didn't think that they were as important as all of the other pasts experiences they had in the room? But there were a lot of them, so why wouldn't they be labeled as to what they were? Now a little panicked he sped up his pace and chose the first bottle to watch at random.

His hands were shaking for reasons that he couldn't understand. It was almost as if his mind knew something very bad was going to happen when he looked in.

He mentally shook the thoughts from his mind, not wanting to just jump to conclusions. He suddenly found himself repeating over and over in his head that these people were Harry's family and the only blood relatives he had left. That there was no way that something suspicious could be going on at the Durselys house.

Tired of just hoping nothing was wrong with Harry's last guardians he popped the memory back into the bowl and went in yet again.

-_Another memory-_

_Sirius was very confused when he saw the Durselys family sitting at the table and the fat man that he had saw before when he went to get Harry after he was free tapping his fingers on the table. However there was no young Harry to be found inside the room or at the table. _

_The animagus could only guess that when he saw Harry he would be pretty young due to the fact that his cousin looked younger then when he saw him and him and Harry were not that far apart. _

_But Harry's aunt and uncle looked pretty much the same. Still horse like and still bull like, Sirius would have laughed and made a joke about them if he wasn't looking for Harry._

_Suddenly Petunia the lady he remembered as Lily flowers sister jumped out of her chair with a huff. Sirius followed her as she went out the door that connected the kitchen and dinning room to the hallway. He began to think she had lost her mind when he saw her start to bang her fist on the cupboard under the stairs. _

" _Boy! Get up, Get up NOW!" she shouted at the door before stomping her loud way back out of the door. Shutting it with a very loud bang. _

_What shocked him the most though was when he saw a small version of Harry crawl out of that same cupboard. The boy had to be about five years old by the looks of it, and he didn't look to good._

_Not only was his face covered in dirt as if he hadn't washed in days but he also looked very sick. Causing Sirius to worry about his godson even more then he thought he would be through out these memories._

_The frail looking boy slowly stood up once he was out of that small cupboard space. Once he was up you could tell very clearly that Harry became very dizzy and swayed on his feet for a moment looking almost as if he would fall over. After he gained his footing back he swallowed quickly and then began to cough loudly into his tiny elbow crock. Sirius wanted nothing more than to scoop Harry up into his arms and check if he was ok._

_But he knew that he couldn't do that. This was just a memory and he had no way to help other than watching it out and learn. He could literally feel his blood boil when he looked back at the cupboard door and saw how small it was. How in the world could Harry be sleeping in there? _

_Never less he walked into the dinning room and kitchen again right after Harry. Forcing his rage to simmer down into the back of his mind. _

_Once he was back in the kitchen though he didn't know that his rage was going to be forced to come foreword again full force._

_He was careful to stand back and watch what was going to play out in front of him. He silently hoped that some one would notice that Harry was sick and get him the medicine and help that he needed. _

" _well then finally decided to get your lazy ass up have we freak!" Sirius's eyes popped out of his head when he heard how this Vernon man address his godson like that._

_Harry could only cough slightly before making his way into the kitchen and responding to his uncle._

" _I'm sorry Uncle Vernon but I don't feel to well." even though pad foot was shocked that his godson could talk so well at that age he couldn't help be have his heart go out to the boy. Feeling sorry that he was feeling sickly. _

_What he wasn't ready for was the whole table to break out laughing (A/n yes Harry's aunt has sat back down). _

" _sick! HA, you think being sick will get you out of this days chores?" his uncle asked as if it was a threat._

_As Vernon got up and advanced on Harry, the younger boy slowly back away into the stove._

"_No Sir I'm sorry I just don't think I can stop shaking enough to make breakfast for you today." it was then that Sirius noted that Harry's hands were indeed shaking up a storm. But weather it was from fright of his uncle coming towards him or him being sick Sirius couldn't tell. _

_In a quick movement Harry's uncle reached down and grabbed Harry's forearms that the young boy had brought up to his face to protect himself._

_He shook Harry roughly as Petunia and Dudley just watched and laughed. As he shook him harder he yelled at him this," You worthless freak! How dare you talk back to me, we have taken you in out of the goodness of our hearts when no one else wanted you and this is how you repay us?"_

_The five year old under Vernon began to whimper slightly as his uncle kept screaming how worthless he was at him. _

_But what happened after was what made Sirius wanted commit the crime that everyone had accused him for on that Vernon man.. _

_It was then that Harry's uncle threw him on to the ground and began to pound his fists into him, his shoes were included when he got up and began to repeatedly kick Harry in the chest and stomach. Sirius started to shake with anger when he saw this and noticed how Harry kept trying conceal all of his gasps and shouts from the pain._

_The beating went on for five whole minutes before Harry's uncle became out of breath and got up. Leaving Harry crumpled up on the floor. Now not only coughing but also coughing up blood from being hit. _

_Dudley then announced that it didn't matter to him then if the dork was suffering right now that he happened to be very hungry. Screamed and demanded was more like it, and Pad foot was surprised that Petunia and Vernon would ever let their son act like that. Thought right now Harry was his main concern. _

_Petunia then told everyone, everyone being her husband and son, that they would go out to eat because she simply wouldn't cook in a kitchen that was touched by the freak and it was clear that Harry was such a piece of trash that he couldn't even cook a proper breakfast for them. _

_Once they had left after Dudley got his last few kicks in on Harry's sins Sirius could only watch in misery as His godson curled up into a ball on the ground and Sirius saw a few stray tears make there way down his face. _

_Finally when Harry began to get up Sirius could feel this memory began to end. And then colors began to fade and he once again found himself leaving his godson at such a young age, when he needed him._

_- end memory-_

Quickly Sirius found himself back in the present in the room with all of Harry's memories on shelves' surrounding him. He couldn't even comprehend what he had just witnessed until minutes after coming out of it.

It was then that he felt his old temper coming back to him as fiercely as it did when he had came face to face with peter Pettigrew. He was as ready to kill as he was when he found out that Lily and James were dead because of one of his friends betrayal.

How in the world could they have gotten away with treating Harry like that, sweet, nice, and kind Harry at that too. Hadn't anyone noticed anything while his ass was stuck in Azkaban? Sirius forced himself to take a deep breath and settle down at least a little while all new questions swamped themselves through out his mind. Didn't anyone find bruises on his godson? And others like why didn't Harry's friends notice anything came into his mind to. But the one that bothered him the most was, if I wasn't so stupid and had not gone after peter would Harry had lived with me instead and had a good life?

He found himself crumpling onto the ground overtaken be grief and anger on this newly found discovery. Sirius ran a hand through his hair when he began comparing his own childhood to Harry's. Yes, he had been verbally and even mentally abused but he had to admit that he had never been treated like Harry had. His horrible mother had taken to screaming at him and kicking him out but she had never taken a hand to him. While besides spanking when he was little. But that was nothing compared to what he just saw Harry go through.

What really disturbed him was that he knew that there had to be more abuse moments coming if he dared to look. That by the way that that shelf was filled he knew that Harry had to have go through that horrible treatment for years on end now. He also knew that there was no way that that could be a one time thing.

The Durselys wouldn't just change out of the blue and that that probably wasn't the first time Harry had been beaten either. Harry seemed to know very well to bring his arms up to cover himself and when to. And those facts alone made Sirius's stomach turn. He knew that there was no way he could go through another memory like that tonight. The first one was enough and he didn't think he could stomach himself another one just as worse or more. He couldn't bear to see the boy that he thought of as his own son suffer like that again.

He found himself slowly and wobbly getting off the floor and exiting the room with small steps. There was nothing like finding out your godson you hadn't spent a full day with in years was being abused by people who were supposed to keep him safe.

As he was walking up the stairs trying to piece together a plan that didn't involved him getting hauled back to Azkaban by a bunch of aururs he began to wish James and Lily were still alive. He knew that they would be shocked at what he had just seen and would have definitely done something about it. And here he was having no idea how to tackle this new situation that he suddenly found himself in. it seemed to be one that didn't have an answer. There was no way that he could just forget about it. And he couldn't just walk up to Harry and say that he had just complete ruined Harry's privacy and found out that he was abused.

He wasn't even sure that Harry would talk to him about it. After all he had to face the fact that even though he loved him and wanted to help he didn't know Harry that well yet and wasn't even very good at sentimental talks. Harry would need a parent to talk to about this, not just some man his parents left him with when they died. He would need Lily and James to be there for him but sadly they could never be.

Then he realized that if James and Lily were alive this probably wouldn't have ever happened in the first place. Just that thought alone did something to his heart that he couldn't explain. It was almost as if it had burst with grief.

Though thinking about all of his fallen friends it was then that he was reminded of some help that he did have. Sure he didn't have Lily or James and he was sure as hell glad that he didn't have Peter. But one person he did still have that cared for his godson as much as he did was faithful Remus. Who was much better with all of that touchy feely stuff than he was. Hopefully he could help not only Harry but Sirius as well.

He then began to walk more determinedly when he knew he just wasn't going to run up to his room and pace back and forth. He transformed into his animagus form Padfoot and ran all the way up the stairs and to Remus's door, where he began to whine and scratch at it. He knew that if he was in human form right now he couldn't trust himself not to make a ton of noise and wake Harry up in the process to get Remus to come out of his slumber.

When he heard the rustling of feet on the other side he then knew he could sit silently on the other side and wait to be let in.

Soon he was met by the face of a tired distraught werewolf who looked like he had just been rudely woken up from a peaceful sleep.

_while he actually had been. _Sirius thought sheepishly. But that was the last of his problems right now.

Remus was looking over his head clearly expecting a human to be on the other side of his door not a dog. However out of instinct he looked down and saw the sad looking Padfoot staring back at him. While looking thoroughly confused he stepped aside and let Sirius in his room.

Once safely inside his friends room and with knowing that Harry wasn't awoke he transformed back into his normal human form.

" Sirius! What is the meaning of this, I happened to be sleeping." Remus whispered urgently. Waiting for an explanation on why he had been awoke at such a late time in the night.

But the only thing Sirius could reply was, " close the door Moony you're definitely not going to like this at all."

Sirius had a look of sadness, anger, and defeat all on his face causing the former dada teacher to worry about what he was about to hear. As he shut the door as quietly as he could he motioned for Sirius to sit down on the bed as Sirius launched into what he had just seen.


	15. what are we going to do?

_**hey guys, it's time to start off chap 15! The wait to see what Remus is going to do is over. **_

_**Disclaimer**__**: no matter how much I want to own Harry Potter sadly I don't **_

* * *

Sirius knew very well that there happened to be two sides to Remus. There was the real Remus who always was calm and wanted to help. But that Remus had also been bitten by a werewolf when he was only the tender age of five, and that side of him wasn't so calm.

Later in his life the wolf Remus had gotten a pack when his human friends became animaguses. And only a year out of school that same a pack had been given the gift of a cub, none other than Harry. The human Remus was overjoyed that his best friend had a son. But the wolf part of him saw Harry as his cub. His son, and wolfs were very protective of what was theirs.

" So what should we do about this?" Sirius asked with worry in his voice.

He had just finished spilling out his story to Remus and now It seemed like the world stopped altogether for the two last marauders.

" Sirius we should…. We can… I'll," it seemed that Remus had no idea what to say.

Remus had always been the one to know what to do or what to say. So to see his best friend at a loss of words was frightening to Sirius to say the least.

When nothing came to mind he gave a shaky sigh and slowly lowered himself on to his bed.

" Padfoot we need James and Lily…."

" I know." Sirius replied with sadness in his voice.

The truth was Sirius was waiting for the moment when Remus lost it and he would have to hold him back. He could see the wolf and Remus fighting for control in Remus's eyes. And he knew that it was only an amount of time before the news finally settled in and the werewolf would become protective of what was his.

And it would seem that that moment was here. Because Remus finally hung his head down and then got up and with one swift movement his arm threw the contents of his desk onto the ground. The former defense against the dark arts teacher then landed his palms on the now clear desk and tried to settle himself down.

It was then that Sirius began to think that telling his friend this so close to a full moon wasn't the smartest thing that he ever did. He should have known from past experiences that this time of month always made Remus more irritable than he usually was. After all the full moon was only a week away from that night.

Sirius saw it as his time to intervene but as he got up and went to put a hand on Remus's shoulder a knock on the door was heard.

As soon as It was heard Remus's head shot up and he shook his head at Sirius to tell him not to bring up anything about what they were just talking about.

Briskly the ex-convict walked over to the door, while Remus bent over to the ground and tried to clean up what he had tossed to floor.

Sirius took a deep breath before opening the door to a very sleepy looking Harry Potter.

" Hey Har what are you doing up at a time like this?" Sirius took a look at the clock that clearly read 2 am.

Harry's brow frowned as he answered, " A crash woke me up and I came to see if everything was alright." he finished his sentence with a yawn.

" oh that! That was nothing just old Remus falling out of bed." the dog animagus said as casually as he could while leaning up against the door frame.

The boy who lived gave him a curious look but decided to leave it be. " ok well then I'll see you in the morning." and with that he began his walk down the hall after his godfather said goodnight to him again.

Sirius shut the door as quietly as he could. Once it was fully shut he slowly lowered himself down to the floor and rested his back up against it.

The two then waited for what seemed like forever in what was a disturbing silence for them. None of them knew how to approach something so heartbreaking as what they had just found out about their Harry. Each of them was regretting not being there in the past from being so wrapped up in grief of their friends being gone forever.

Remus wished that he could have fought harder to change the rule of werewolves not being allowed to adopt or take care of children. Then he could have taken in Harry and stopped any of this from every happening. He then also would have spared himself the heartbreak of being alone in the world for thirteen years before he meant Harry and found out that Sirius was innocent.

Sirius the ex-convict was very upset with himself about giving Harry over to Hagrid that day he found his friends dead. He began to think that he should have never sought revenge over Peter and should have focused on raising baby Harry.

Their silence was broken when Sirius decided to bring something up. " Do you think that he told anyone?" he asked. Not even looking up to face the werewolf as he did.

" What?"

" I mean would he have said something to some one? His friend….maybe an Professor …a muggle…. I don't know just….. someone." His voice went into a whisper as he finished talking. There was a tint of desperation in his voice that even Remus had never heard before. Well at least not since Prongs and Lily flower were found dead at their home.

" This is Harry we're talking about Sirius. He never wants anyone to pity him or worry, I'm sure that we're the first ones to find out about this."

" And I'm sure that he's probably been hiding those damn bruises from everyone for years." Sirius said with venom in his voice.

That was something that Harry's former professor couldn't argue with at all. He had found out in only a few class with Harry that the boy preferred to keep to himself. But if he knew one thing it was that Harry did tend to open up to his close friends, Ron and Hermione, more than anyone else.

" Ron and Hermione might know something." Sirius said as if he was reading Remus's mind.

" Or Harry could have kept this secret to them too." Remus replied while pointing a finger at his friend to get his point across.

Sirius's head shot up so fast Remus swore that he almost gave himself whiplash. He could tell that another great idea like the party was coming on.

" What is it this time?" the old dada teacher asked when he sat back down onto his bed.

"Do you think we could ask them if they've seen anything or have been told something by Harry? Knowing more about it would help a lot when we talk to Harry about this and I don't really feel like ruining his privacy again."

" And what happens if they haven't Padfoot? We blow Harry's secret and make him not trust us anymore." Moony asked in a monotone.

" well…" Sirius started nervously.

"Either that or they tell Molly or Arthur what we've been asking and we both know that you don't want word of this to get to Molly before we figure this out."

Sirius let out a nervous laugh at that statement, " Bloody woman would probably put all this on my shoulders, saying that I'm not fit to raise Har and tell the you that she should have custody of him."

"Now Sirius you know that she only means well and has Harry in mind." Remus gently scolded his friend. He was in no mood to get into a fight with his best friend that night. But then again he was also in no mood to hear another one of Sirius's rants on Molly Weasley.

" So what do we do now?" Sirius asked clearly wanting to avoid a fight as much as Remus did.

" I guess Ron is worth a try, but Hermione will have to wait until later she went all the way home to muggle London just yesterday."

Both Sirius and Remus woke that next morning after one of the worst nights of sleep they'd had in a while. That was saying something seeing that Sirius used to sleep in a cell in Azkaban for years . And Remus had had many nights after a transformations were he ached all over and had many new cuts from where he couldn't remember getting.

* * *

Breakfast that morning went as it usually did. Both Remus and Sirius were trying hard not to act out of the normal. Harry didn't seem to notice anything though which was a relief to the both of them.

They were also very happy that Harry had chose that morning to sleep in. It gave Sirius time to use the fireplace to call Ron's twin brothers and ask that after a little while of them being there that they distract Harry and give them enough time to talk to Ron in private.

The twins seemed so happy to be told to do something bad that would draw attention to themselves that they didn't even ask why Remus and Sirius would want to talk to Ron.

" Hey Harry…" Sirius called after they had all finished breakfast together.

" Yeah." he replied while getting up to wash his plate. Both Remus and Sirius followed him into the kitchen with their plates as well.

" What would you say to going over to the Burrow and seeing the Weasleys?"

Harry's face lit up like fireworks at the mentioning of seeing Ron. " That would be brilliant!"

It was a good thing that he chose that moment to turn around and began to wash his plate because if he didn't than he would have seen the worried glance that the werewolf and his godfather shared.

It didn't take them that long to finish up the dishes and grab their brooms and start out to the Weasleys.

Now Remus wasn't much of a flier at all, in fact he tended to avoid it when ever necessary. But Harry was an amazing flier himself, being on the quidittch teem and all and Sirius enjoyed the chance to fly when ever he could. So for the two of them Remus learned to deal with using a broom to fly over to Harry's best mates house.

The flight wasn't that long though. After all Sirius and Remus had chosen the house they all lived in now because it was close to the ginger haired family. So the former dada teacher didn't have to suffer for that long.

He almost laughed when he thought about Sirius describing how Harry and Hermione broke him out of his cell at Hogwarts in their third year. Sirius had told him with laughter in his eyes about how Hermione kept screaming that she didn't like flying. In truth he thought he was close to doing exactly what Hermione did then.

Molly was walking out of the house at the time and gave a surprised gasp as they all landed in her front yard. It was then that Sirius remembered that he had forgot to tell Molly and Arthur that they were coming.

" Oh boys what a pleasant surprise!" she cooed once she realized who they were. After they had only taken about three steps down the yard she came running. As she reached them she gave all of them a welcome hug. Holding on to Harry longer than any one else and to Sirius's surprise she even hugged him.

" Come on in we still have breakfast out" she declared as she put her hands on her hips and then turned to walk inside her house with them all following behind her.

Harry could guess that she only mentioned breakfast because she wanted him to gain more weight. Making Harry eat more than he usually did seemed to a hobby for the mother of seven.

As soon as they entered the Burrow they caught the attention of everyone in the kitchen and dinning room.

Sirius wanted to laugh as Ginny blushed as soon as she saw his godson enter, a blush that he also noted that Harry returned. So it was Ginny and the Chinese girl…hmm he could have fun with that.

Molly broke him from his thoughts as she told Harry to go ahead and head on upstairs, that he would find Ron in his room.

When Harry went upstairs to find his best friend Remus and Sirius contented themselves with staying down and going into the living room to enjoy a conversation with everyone still downstairs. Even Bill and Charlie were there due to the fact that it was summer time.

* * *

They had been downstairs for about forty minutes before the twins, Harry, and Ron came downstairs to join them. They all talked for about fifteen minutes before Sirius shot Fred and George a look to tell them to get on with it.

That only took them three minutes as they went into the kitchen together. And soon enough the kitchen was filled with smoke and a terrible smell went through the kitchen, dining room, and living room. Molly and Arthur lead everyone but Remus, Sirius, and Ron outside.

As soon as they all started coughing and beginning to leave Remus announced that the smell was too bad for the three of them to get through the kitchen and they would lead Ron up the stairs Arthur agreed whole heartily.

Once in Ron's room Sirius shut them inside. He guessed that they had about ten minutes to get this over with before it all wore off and everyone started to come back in. He had heard from Harry that the twins had set off a stink bomb like that in their charms class and that was how long the class had to wait before they went back in.

" What's all this about?" Ron asked with a confused look on his face. Something about the way his old teacher and mates godfather were acting had him worried.

" Ron we have something to ask you about Harry…." Remus started off. It seemed that he didn't know how to finish.

"What do you mean?"

Sirius though was having enough of all this waiting, he wanted to get right to the point. " Did Harry ever say anything to you about being mistreated by the Durselys?"

Ron's face suddenly darkened at the mention of Harry's relatives. Which caused both of the former marauders to worry.

" He doesn't really talk about them a lot, but I first meant them in our first year when they came to get him from Kings cross."

" And what did they act like?" Remus asked he was eager to keep his old student going.

Ron continued with a shake of his head, " They seemed like horrible people practically drug Harry into their car."

He paused when a growl started to come to Sirius's throat. But Remus told him to continue on as he put a hand on his friends shoulder to warn him to calm down.

" Harry's told me that they hate magic so I can only guess that they weren't to fond of him, back in second year I had to go and rescue him because they had barred his windows an locked him in his room. They practically starved him!" He finished with a yell to prove how anger he was getting.

"Anything else?" Sirius asked with anxiety in his voice. He didn't know that they had locked him up and now he was on the edge of his seat to find out as much as he could.

" They had his school things locked in this cupboard under the stairs."

Sirius almost stopped him and said that it was better than having Harry locked up in the cupboard under the stairs. But he decided against it, what Ron was saying was much more crucial.

" Then his uncle came running into the room and started yelling "He's escaping!" over and over again, he even grabbed onto Harry's leg and tried to pull him back in. Though Fred hit the gas and we ended up tossing him out of the bloody window."

Both Remus and Sirius allowed themselves to laugh at that comment.. Now Harry and Ron definitely seemed to be Marauder material.

"Harry's mentioned a few times that they call him freak and things like that but that's all really." Ron finished with a smaller voice.

Some how Remus knew that there was something else on the young boys mind.

" Are you completely sure that that's all?" He tried to be as gentle as he could. He had never seen Ron this shaken.

" Well you know how Harry used to come to my house in the last few weeks of summer…?" He trailed off and waited for an answer.

At Both of the other men's nods he continued on with his tale, " I might have saw something that I'm sure Harry didn't want me to see, cause he covered it up as soon as he noticed I saw it."

**" **What was it Ron?" Sirius asked knowing that they were finally getting somewhere.

Slowly Ron lowered his eyes to his lap and began fiddling with his hands. His voice dropped to a whisper that Sirius and Remus had to strain their ears to hear what he said next.

" There were cuts and bruises on his stomach when his shirt lifted a little bit."


	16. Lost

**Hey people, sorry it took so long. However, here is another chapter for you all to read. **

"Are you sure that that's what you saw?" Sirius asked with urgency in his voice. He didn't want to believe in what he was hearing, but he knew that he had to get the truth.

"That's not really something you forget!" Ron replied enraged. How dare Sirius ask him that! This was his best friend they were talking about and those scars definitely weren't something he was going to forget anytime soon. They had been practically burned into his memory since the day that he noticed them.

"Calm down…." Remus trailed off as he spoke.

His words drifted uncomfortably into the stiff air of the room. Ron and Sirius couldn't tell if he was speaking to one of them or to himself due to him staring straight ahead.

"COME ON DOWN BOYS! EVERYTHING IS SAFE NOW!" They heard Arthur call merrily to them from down the stairs.

_Oh if only he knew. _Sirius thought with an unknown bitterness.

With a sigh, he ran a hand shaking with rage through his unruly long hair. This was all too much, after all he had first found out about the abuse a few hours ago. His other hand preoccupied itself by clenching into a fist so tight that Sirius could feel his fingernails making half moon shapes into his palm.

"Sirius…?" Remus asked hesitantly as he noticed him. He knew that it wouldn't take very long before his old friend lost his temper. In addition, an enraged Sirius was never good with this many children in the house. However, he himself had no idea how he was keeping the wolf in him down. His werewolf form wanted to protect what was his.

"Can you bloody well believe it Moony?" Sirius nearly shouted with fury in his voice.

The youngest Weasley boy stepped back in fear. He had never seen Sirius this angry with anyone or anything before.

"Would you calm down!" the former DADA teacher demanded in a voice he usually only used on misbehaving students. "Everyone else is downstairs! How would you feel if someone was to hear you screaming about Harry's abuse? And do you know how embarrassed Harry would probably be?"

Remus's words seemed to bring the ex-convict back to reality a little bit more. However, he still didn't like the situation they were all in now. You could tell by the way that he was definitely grinding his teeth together.

"Ummm" was the only thing that Ron could manage to say. The only other time he had seen his old teacher and Sirius argue this much was when they were fighting over whether or not to tell Harry about Sirius's innocence before or after they killed Peter.

"Don't bring this up to anyone before we clear things up." Sirius demanded to Ron. Who could only nod dumbly at the sight before him, Sirius could get very scary when he was mad.

The two older men in the room went back to staring defiantly at each other for what seemed like years. Finally, Sirius stopped gritting his teeth a little, and unclenched his fists. If calming down would help Harry from embarrassment then he would do it. No one could ever say that he didn't love his godson.

"Fine."

With that he got up and exited the room not even knowing that Ron, and Remus were right behind him.

Both he and Remus knew that now they had enough evidence, even if it was just them and Ron who knew, to go to Dumbledore. And that the old headmaster would most certainly trust their words and do something on the matter.

The old Sirius Black that ran around with the Marauders would have loved to just not go to Dumbledore and get his revenge on his own for someone who he cared about. That Sirius would have gotten a lot of enjoyment in knowing that he was going to be hurting those damn muggles in the way they hurt Harry. But that younger version of Sirius would have also most likely been thrown into Azkaban for what he would have done to Lily's sisters' family.

This new Sirius however was a lot older than he was when he was whisked away to his hell. Even if he didn't act like his true age most of the time. And this new older Sirius knew that he was in need of the headmasters help and had a lot more on his mind than revenge. He had responsibilities now; he had to work on piecing his relationship with Remus back together now that he was free. He had to work on putting his whole life back together after being in prison for so long. Had to prove his innocence to everyone that didn't believe him, and most of all he had to take care of _**his **_Harry. That was right Harry was his. There was no way in hell those damn muggles would get their filthy hands on him ever again.

He could still remember the first day he had meant his godson. He had been drinking tea with Remus and Peter at the time. When a very flustered James had called him from his fireplace, saying that Lily had gone into labor. The ex-convict definitely remembered pacing around the almost bare waiting room with Peter and Remus. Just waiting for any word on what was going on in the other St. Mungos room where his two best friends were.

Nevertheless, what still stood out in his mind the most and what really helped him stay sane in Azkaban was remembering when he first held his best friends son.

Prongs had raced out of the room, ran straight into the waiting room with a smile on his face. It was then that he asked them all if they would like to meet a small boy named Harry James Potter. Once they had all traveled back to the room they found a much tried looking Lily holding something small and wrapped in a blue blanket.

Every one of his friends had taken turns holding on to Harry when he left Lily's arms. However, Sirius chose to wait last of all to take the baby. He was so scared at how small Harry looked and was quite afraid that he would drop him. Besides he was the most reckless one of the group, there was no saying what he could do on accident. Finally as everyone had gotten to hold the baby James took his son back and slowly walked over to him. After some reassuring that everything would be fine and that he would not in fact hurt Harry if he held him carefully Sirius took him from James's capable hands.

Once he had him in his arms he never wanted to let go of him. The tiny baby chose that moment to wake up. Sirius could not help but laugh as Jamie's baby yawned, opened his little eyes, and threw two balled up fists into the air. Only then looking up at Sirius with a very curious expression. It was one that Sirius did not know babies could achieve.

However, he took to Sirius as fast as Sirius took to him because in less then a minute baby Harry was laughing, squirming in his hands, and blowing spit bubbles out of his adorable mouth.

It was then that James asked him if he liked holding on to his godson. That comment nearly did make him drop Harry. Never in a million years would he have thought that they would have chosen him. Even if he was ecstatic to get the offer, Remus was so much more of a parenting type than he was. It did not matter to him though, he felt honored to be able to call himself a godfather of his best friends son.

The memory had him completely lost in his thoughts. So much that he missed the last stair and almost went tumbling down to the carpet. Luckily Remus was following close enough behind him to be able to reach out and grab him by the crook of the arm.

Everyone, besides Mrs. Weasley, started cracking up at the scene in front of him or her. Sirius though was oblivious to the laughter around him; he had many more things on his mind. His mind was swarmed and he knew that he was going to blow soon. He suddenly regretted heading down stairs to the group.

"Are you alright?" Remus whispered urgently.

The jig was up and Sirius knew that very well, he couldn't stand pretending. Not when he had Harry right in front of him and refusing to say anything. Though it wasn't really like he had asked him to in the first place, but that was beside the point.

"Of course I'm NOT! How could I when I know he's hurting and been hurt and not telling me?"

Okay that was a little bit more then he wanted to come out but his mouth was on a roll. And it decided that its next attack would be on his godson.

"Why couldn't you have just come to me and tell me that they hit you! What you did not trust me enough to let me in on the little fact that they were _**ABUSING**_ you!" Somewhere in the back of Sirius's mind he registered the fact that he sounded quite like a lunatic and that everyone in the room had suddenly gone completely silent.

But all he could focus on was the young Harry sitting next to Fred in front of him. The-boy-who-lived eyes had gone wide and his mouth was open in shock. Time and space stood still for a few more moments while Harry kept staring straight ahead. Sirius took his time to settle himself down, he took a few deep breaths and clenched and unclenched his fists.

It was then that things went into chaos.

"You told them?" Harry demanded to Ron, who was currently trying to hide behind Remus. Ok so an angry Harry was just as scary as an enraged Sirius.

"I- It wasn't like I had a choice! They asked Harry and I… couldn't lie." Ron said with certain hesitancy in his voice. The golden boy suddenly got up from his seat and looked like he would combust for a couple of moments. As he quickly looked from Ron and Remus, over to his godfather, then to everyone else in the room. The whole time sputtering out incomplete sentences and words. Finally his gaze fell put on Sirius and his mind and mouth agreed on something to say.

"HOW?" he could have said so much more. Something like 'How did you find out?' or maybe 'How do you expect me to react to this?' would have worked so much better. But despite the vagueness Sirius got the point that his godson was trying to get across.

This was not the kind of circumstances that he wanted to tell Harry that he had invaded his privacy. However, despite his embarrassment he knew that had to be done.

"I-I well… I may have looked inside of your pensive… after you feel asleep."

Once the words had processed themselves inside Harry's mind he had a sudden feeling that the whole room was excessively crowded. The living room had started to spin and he could not quite catch his breath, he began to pant slightly. Dammit, this was definitely not a good time to go into a panic attack!

Remus knew the symptoms of a panic attack quite well. He could remember being a pre-teen and having one every few nights before the full moon, then when his friends found out about his 'Furry problem'.

"Harry?" he began gently as the boy began to sway a little on his feet.

But the boy-who-lived did not hear him at all. All he knew was that he had to get away before the room closed in more. And he had a feeling that the more he talked about the Dursleys that more that it would.

His former DADA teacher started a couple of hesitant steps towards him. Everyone else in the room was too shocked or in Sirius's case worried to move.

And with out a second to spare Harry did what he thought was right at the moment. He bolted from the Burrow like a bat out of hell. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered the fact that he was being followed by quite a lot of people. But nevertheless his feet kept moving and hitting the dirt road.

Harry didn't even look back as he heard Remus and Sirius calling out his name and Mr. and Mrs. Wealsey telling him to slow down and stop. Though he found that he couldn't even stop his feet from running even quicker. It was just his luck that he had the practice of running or sprinting long distances as fast as he could while Dudley's gang ran after him. It stopped him from running out of breath sooner and kept him moving at his very fast pace. Turns out that he was as speedy now as he was when he was only a kid.

He suddenly found himself somewhere in the woods that had surrounded the Weasley's house. He did register that a tree root was sprouting up from the ground in front of him. Though when he went to jump it he did something that he hadn't done since he went to Muggle School. It was just like when he was being chased by Dudley's gang and he went to jump a trashcan and ended up landing on the roof.

But this time he had the worst feeling that where he was going to land somewhere as safe and easy to get down from as his old school's roof. He didn't care though, he was sure that it would take him very far from where he was now and very far from the group hot on his trail.

A little while later when he finally hit solid ground and opened his eyes he had no idea what so ever where he was. He knew that he wasn't in a tree or on a hill or something but some how he could sense that he was very _very_ far away from his chasers. He guessed that it had to be an hours on end run from the Burrow to where he was now.

However even though he was glad to get away from it all he was still in a extremely new and weird place in the woods that he had never been to….. And he knew he was complete lost.

Sirius knew that he could use magic to catch up to Harry and he had a feeling so did everyone else. Though yet no one had the slightest idea to use it. Most of there brains where to filled with the fact that they had to find Harry and get him somewhere safe before he hurt himself, that they didn't even remember that they were wizards.

They were gaining on him and Remus with his werewolf speed was almost able to grab him. But just as soon as he was there…. Suddenly he was gone.

He had just vanished out of thin air was completely gone, nowhere to be seen. And that fact dawned on Sirius as soon as everyone else stopped and he ended up falling forward and tripping over a tree root coming out of the ground.

When he got himself up some one behind him and Remus that sounded a lot like George asked "Where did he go?"

He had no idea at all; he didn't even know quite fully what Harry had done to disappear. Sirius knew that he couldn't have apparated… So what had he done?

Remus stood beside him looking very dumbfounded. He kept looking ahead, muttering aloud that that wasn't magic that he didn't know that Harry or anyone could do, and saying that it wasn't possible.

But Sirius had a different question filtering through his mind then if it was possible or not.

"Arthur! How far do these woods go out to?"

"They go on for miles on end, that's why they didn't build them town on the other side."

"It would take days to go through them." Bill added, as he was suddenly right next to Remus.

Sirius took a long look at all the trees and woods there was and then up to the skies. He did not even know if Harry was in the woods any more. Nevertheless, something in his heart told him that he had to be and that something told him that his godson was _definitely _not safe anymore.


	17. Our directon

**sorry for the wait everyone, school started back up again so I have had no time to write.**

**Disclaimer: you all probably get the point by now that I do not own the Harry Potter Series at all, wish I did but I never will.**

**Talking: ""**

**Parseltongue: **_**Parseltongue**_

He was breath was coming out in short loud gasps. And even though he knew that no one that was chasing him before was around he still kept running, to where however he wasn't sure.

One of the worst things is that every single damn tree in this forest looked exactly the same. He wouldn't be able to tell if he was going in circles even if he slowed down enough to look around.

A little voice in his mind, that strangely sounded a lot like Remus, was telling him to stop running aimlessly around so he wouldn't become more lost than he already was. But he was paying that voice no attention, right now all he wanted was to be far far away. What he was running away from so fast or what he was going to he couldn't name.

Finally as he ran out of breath he collapsed down onto his knees on that dark forest. Once everything had calmed down and the world wasn't spinning anymore he had a sudden urge to be with Sirius. If he had any air in his lungs he would have laughed at the thought.

He had just went through all this trouble to get away and now he wanted to go back., he must be going senile.

However everyone of his thoughts no matter how jumbled they were came to a stop when he heard a mysterious hissing coming from behind him.

The mob of wizards and witches that had been previously chasing Harry Potter had made themselves in to groups so that they could search farther into the forest with more efficiency.

Sirius of course had voiced many times that he preferred to look by himself. Though Remus was having none of that. He knew very well how much of a crazy person his friend could turn into when he was searching intently for something or someone, take Peter Pettigrew for example. Sirius didn't eat or sleep for days when he thought he was catching up to him or when he had caught his sent somewhere. The ex-convict was just that determined of a person and the werewolf knew that. So Remus forced Sirius to look with him for Harry so that he knew that Black wouldn't do anything to rash.

" Can't believe it… just ran off like that… how in the world did he even do magic like that." Sirius mumbled to himself as he sped ahead of Remus.

" Well then we'll have to ask him that once we find him and get him home now wont we."

Remus answering the question that he had no idea he evened voiced caused Sirius to jump a little and stop in his tracks.

He looked back at the ex dada professor who had a calm expression on his face before he answered.

" I guess we will."

Sirius leaned back against a tree and took a deep breath. If he keep going on like this he was going to have a heart attack for sure. But his mind couldn't help but come up with all sorts of horrible things that could be happening to Harry right now well he was so alone.

" Of course that would be after we get him something to eat, preferably soup with a calming draught slipped into it. Then get him set up somewhere like a soft bed or comfortable chair so that we can talk to him rationality and in private." The usually in control wolfs expression turned stern during the last part of his sentence as he looked onto his long time friend.

Sirius tossed him a look and then changed his gaze back to staring at the forest floor. With a sigh he started to speak. " I know ok, Remus I get it."

There was a sharp silence between the two of them before Remus broke it.

" And what, exactly Padfoot, do you know?" his voice was quieter this time.

" That I didn't handle that as well as I should of. And that you would have been so much better at it."

Remus's laughter filling the air startled Sirius more than he knew possible and caused him to look up so fast he swore he could hear his neck crack.

" What, come on mate what's there to laugh at here?"

The werewolf's laughter bubbled down and a slow gentle smile graced him face. " Nothing Sirius, it's just the fact the you don't believe that I'm just as lost on what to do for Harry as you are, I mean you should know that I was actually as close as you were to blowing my top about all of this. You of all people know what Mooney came get like when some one threatens a member of the pack."

The ex-convicts face broke out into a grin. Suddenly the whole situation didn't look as bad as it once was. They would find Harry, bring him home, and him and Remus would get him to open up in a quiet peaceful environment.

" well I do believe we should start looking again Sirius, Merlin only knows how much trouble Harry could be getting himself in this very moment."

Sirius's bark like laugher filled the air as the two of them began their hunt again. This time more determined than ever to find their cub/pup.

" Harry does have a knack for finding trouble doesn't he Mooney."

Remus gave a snort before replying, " Just like his father did."

As soon as the faint hissing hit his ears Harry jumped to his feet. Desperately searching his robes for his wand.

When out from behind a tree came a rather large snake, " _**Now who could you be human?" **_

Slowly the snake began to circle around his feet, every once and awhile it looked up and flicked it's tongue at Harry.

"_**Harry Potter"**_His voice slipping into Parseltongue before he could even notice it.

The snake paused for a minute stopping in front of his feet and cocking his head to the side as he look up at the boy-who-lived.

"_**sssssooo you're not one of them?" **_

Harry's eyebrows shot up at the question. Could the snake be referring to his friends that were following him…. Or maybe it was someone else.

"_**Excuse me but what," **_he paused to let out a short cough into his hand, "_**What exactly do you mean by one of them?" **_

The snake began it's circle around Harry's legs again as it answered him. "_**The men, in the long black robes with the skulls for faces." **_

With that the snake took it's leave slithering away into the dark depths of the forest surrounding Harry.

Deatheaters! What in the world were Deatheaters doing in a forest like this, especially at a time like now when Harry already had so much on his mind.

Then the obvious hit Harry like a bunch of bricks, of course they were after him. Voldemort must have found out about him running away and begin lost by himself somehow.

Not taking a moment to think over what he was doing or going to do, Harry ran off deeper into the forest. And unknowingly right into one of his worst nightmares.

He must have ran on end for hours and hours, or at least that's how it felt to him. He finally stopped when he body demanded that he had to. For most of the air in his lungs was gone from not slowing down and his legs felt as though even a step further would cause him to collapse.

The seeker took a minute to catch his breath. He rested his palms on his knees and took a few deep breathes, silently wishing that he had a broom so that he wouldn't have to deal with all this ridiculous running.

It was only a short amount of time before he gained his breath back. Cautiously he stood up and began to look around, hoping to find something that would lead him back to the Weasleys home.

The next thing he knew he heard a loud rustling coming from some of the bushes behind him. Harry turned around to see of it was a deatheater or something harmless like another snake.

But before he could focus on what it was or even draw his wand a unforgivable was thrown out into woods. Only seconds after he fell to the ground in pain from a crucio curse.

The sound of running hit Remus's and Sirius's ears a long time after they began their search for Harry again.

They stopped and drew their wand ready for any danger that the endless woods could or would offer. But instead they were meant by the sight of a very out of breath Author Weasley. Immediately they put their wands back into their pockets no longer sensing danger.

"Boy's (pant) Just got news from the order (sigh) deatheaters are in the forest!"

Sirius drew out his wand again and started to run straight ahead not even caring if the other two were following him.

He couldn't get very far before Remus reached out and pulled him back by the arm.

"Where in the hell do you think you're going!"

The ex-convict forcefully pulled his arm away from his friend, his eyes were blazing with concern and anger.

" Anywhere! Are you daft we have to find Harry, his life's at stake here mooney!" he gave his friend a stern look before continuing with a slightly hushed voices. " You and I both know that they wont hesitate to bring him to Voldemort or kill him if they get their slimy hands on him."

Remus grabbed his friends arm again to keep him from running off, he then took his wand out again.

" Which is exactly why were going to find him, but gallivanting off into more of the woods with no direction of where they might be is completely foolish."

He looked over to Author and went on. " Author you should find the others were all going to need to speed up our searching."

He nodded not even questioning what the two of them were going to be doing and apparated. To where Remus didn't know but all he cared about was getting Harry home safe and out of the danger that he was so frequently in.

As if on cue a scream could be heard from some where not far in the distance. Sirius ripped his arm away once more and began sprinting towards where the scream came from and was still coming from. Remus was close behind him and heard him when he looked back, not even slowing down, and yelled.

" I believe that we've found our direction!"


	18. examining theboywholived

**Sorry for the wait. But chapter 18 is finally here everyone :D. I know that it's short but there will be more later.**

* * *

Sirius and Remus followed the sound of screams for a few minutes before they finally found what they were looking for.

The site that they were met with made Sirius sick to his stomach. On the ground before them was the one and only boy-who-lived withering in agony from the dark curse. That was being produced by the single deatheater that was standing over him in a menacing way.

Before altering Remus of what he was going to do Sirius burst out of the bushes in unexpected way.

"Expelliarmus!" immediately fell from his lips once his wand was pointed at the unknown deatheater.

Within seconds the enemy was disarmed and when realizing that he was outnumbered the deatheater ran into the thick forest.

" Do you think he was alone?" Remus asked as he walked forward and leaned down to see how much damaged had been done to his cub, who was remaining unconscious.

" Of course he was! didn't you see the way he ran off, the bloody coward, he wouldn't have if he had back up!"

Remus lowered himself to the ground and gently took harry's head in his hands, then proceeded to set it on his lap to keep it elevated.

" Or he could be running to find his deatheater friends and then come back, did you ever think of that Padfoot?" Remus questioned, once again stating the obvious.

Sirius though was to caught up in harry to care about what his friend had said. He went down on one knee and cautiously put a hand on his godsons' face.

"He doesn't look good at all." the ex-convict mumbled slightly to himself and slightly to his companion.

" Come on then, we'd better get him back to the house and firecall Poppy, have her come and look him over."

Without warning the werewolf stood and took harry into his arms bridal style. He made sure to cradle harry's head into his chest to keep him safe.

Sirius's jumped to his feet and immediately took his wand back out. " As much as I want harry to be safe what about that worthless deatheater? Shouldn't someone go after him?"

Sirius really did want harry to be ok, but even more he wanted revenge on that evil wizard that put his pup in this state. And he wanted to make sure that the crazy deatheater really was gone. No one would want a sudden deatheater attack on the Weasley house especially with harry in the condition that he was.

Remus gave him a look that clearly asked if he was crazy.

" Once at the Weasleys will alert some aurors and have them search the area, now can we finally get harry the care that he needs?"

A small "fine" was muttered by Sirius as he grabbed on to Remus arm and the three of them apparated out of the forest and to the house.

In a matter of seconds they were at the Weasleys front door. Before they even attempted to enter the door flew open to a very worried Mrs. Weasley.

" Oh you poor dears! Come on get inside now, the moment Arthur heard that you-know-who's followers were in the forest we apparated straight home. Everyone's been so worried about all of you!"

Sirius stepped aside and allowed Remus to enter first, after all he was carrying precious cargo.

" Molly if it's not to much trouble could you firecall Poppy from Hogwarts and have her come and check out harry. It seems that that deatheater really did a number on him." Remus yelled from over his shoulder. Refereeing the fact that harry was still out cold in his arms.

With a sudden glance at harry dangling from remus's arms the mother of seven looked as if she was about to burst into tears. But then in a moments notice regained her control of herself and nodded, hurrying out of the room to complete her mission.

Remus carried the-boy-who-lived into the Weasleys living room with a very distraught Sirius trailing behind him. Where they found Ron, Hermione, and the twins, all of them were looking very worried and anxious, so much that they didn't even notice Sirius and Remus enter the room.

"Come one everyone! Clear the couch we need some where cozy to set harry down!" Sirius shouted to get their attention, and boy did it work.

The Twins shot up from their seats their eyes wide and scared. And Hermione and Ron promptly hopped off the couch in a record time.

Hermione gasped when she caught site of her best friend still unresponsive in her old professors arms. Ron on the other hand looked absolutely livid, how dare some lousy deatheater do something horrible to his best friend!

The old dada teacher gingerly lowered harry down onto the couch and covered him up with the blanket that was draped over it. The twins were the first of the group to speak up, at the same time of course.

" Is he.."

"going to be.."

"..alright?"

Remus looked up at them with sad eyes." I hope so but for now all we can do is wait until Poppy shows up and looks him over."

"WHICH WILL BE SOONER THAN YOU THINK MR. LUPIN!" Poppy's loud voice screeched throughout the halls altering them all that she had arrived to see her patient.

The med-witch ran into the living room and immediately found where harry was.

" Out of the way Mr. Black I'll need to see the boy to tell you what's wrong." She stated in a motherly like tone.

She was clearly referring to the way that Sirius was crouched down and looming over harry. His hand running through his hair as if he was hoping to get some kind of response out of the boy.

At her words he slowly stood up and joined the others in the crowd but his eyes never left his sick godson.

Madam Promfrey wasted no time in beginning her work. She set out her bag and began to pull out her wand and other things, such as odd unlabeled potions, that she thought she might need.

" Well what are you all still doing here?" the healer questioned as caught sight of everyone still huddled up in a corner of the small living room.

she got up and began to 'shoo' everyone out of the room with her hands. " Out, out, out all of you I will need space to work."

Once the last person had been forced out of the living room, which just happened to be Sirius, she let out a sigh and began her work on the golden boy.

Just by sitting next to him she could tell from her years of experience that things weren't going to turn out ok. But then again most things in this young boys life never really ended up alright.

The boy was much to thin, he even looked as if he hadn't had a bite to eat in months. That and he was much to pale, the skin that wasn't covered up by clothes was a deathly white. And all that white made the large dark circles from sleep deprivation become much more pronounced.

She thoroughly doubted that he had sleep that much this week. She could recall giving him the dreamless potion every night at the beginning of the school year. However no matter how much it helped the boy sleep without a vision from he-who-will-not-be-named that certain potion was very much addictive, therefore forcing her to have to take him off of it by the third week he used it.

With a long sigh she began to lift up harry's shirt to examine him, though she was never prepared for what she saw.

Sirius was spending his time pacing back and forth throughout the Weasleys kitchen.

On the other side of the table sat remus lupin, who instead being anxious was more worried and tired. He had summed it down to the fact that harry couldn't get a break in life. The second he was taken out of an abusive home into a loving one a disaster like this had to happen! All he and Sirius wanted to accomplish was to take harry in and show him all the love they could but that goal was turning out to be harder than either of them had expected.

" What in the world could be taking that woman so long!" Sirius finally yelled in desperation.

Remus looked up at his friend with a stern gaze, "I'm sure that Promfrey has her reasons Sirius, she might as well be covering everything. After all I highly doubt that the Dursleys ever took harry to the doctor."

Sirius immediately got a confused expression on his face.

" it's a muggle type of mid-witch or wizard Sirius." Remus declared in a worn out voice. He didn't feel like explaining muggle things to his best friend at the moment, all he wanted to do was see his cub and make sure he was alright. Moony was practically going crazy inside of him trying to get out and look after his pack, which at the time had fallen to pieces.

Sensing his problem Sirius decided it would be best to tone it down a little. Therefore he stopped his incessant pacing and took a seat across from his friend.

" I'm sorry," he took in a deep breath and continued, " I'm only worried, never really been through something like this before." Sirius finished off with a small laugh. He really didn't feel like it but it turned out to one of those moments that if he didn't laugh he would end up crying. Or killing someone, particularly the people who did this to his godson.

" I thought your parents were as evil and crazy as the Dursleys?"

" And they were, but it's not the same I knew that I would have James's family to fall back on, I got out of the situation by moving in with my best friend. Harry didn't have anyone to save him, everyone wants him to save them."

Remus's opened his mouth as if to say something but Sirius happened to be on a roll and cut off his friend.

" All I can think about is him sitting there in that cupboard by himself hurt and bleeding while I rotted away in some dingy old cell when I was the one who was supposed to be keeping an eye out for him."

Remus's eyes went dark with sadness as Sirius looked down when tears began to collect on the corners of his eyes.

"Sirius.." the old dada teacher reached out his hand to take his friend's hands that was set on the table.

He stopped halfway when a very sad looking madam Promfrey suddenly burst through the kitchen doors. Making both him and sirius turn around rather quickly. She was wiping her face very thoroughly while sniffing up, making remus come to the conclusion that she had just recently been crying.

" Poppy? What's wrong, is something wrong with harry?" Sirius asked in a tight voice. Giving away that he might lose his control at any moment.

She met their eyes with a stony expression. " I do believe that I have some horrible news to tell you… but before I tell you anything, you're going to have to see this for yourselves."

She turned and began to rush out of the room and back into the one that held the young boy-who-lived both remus and sirius following in her wake.


	19. wounds

**where we left off in the last chapter**

" Poppy? What's wrong, is something wrong with harry?" Sirius asked in a tight voice. Giving away that he might lose his control at any moment.

She met their eyes with a stony expression. " I do believe that I have some horrible news to tell you… but before I tell you anything, you're going to have to see this for yourselves."

She turned and began to rush out of the room and back into the one that held the young boy-who-lived both remus and sirius following in her wake.

-start of chapter-

It happened t be a very short walk from the Weasleys kitchen to their living room but for sirius it seemed to take hours. He dreaded what state he might see his godson in this time and judging by poppy's expression he knew that it wouldn't be good.

"This way gentlemen, and hurry up I gave him some potions to keep him asleep but he won't stay out for long." the med-witch commented.

She stopped just outside of the entrance to the other room, the one which currently held the chosen one.

" I should warn you not to over react, it may be shocking."

Poppy stood to the side and motioned with one hand for sirius and remus to enter before her. Sirius Black was the first one to step past madam Promfrey with a nervous Remus Lupin following closely behind him. Neither knew what they should expect on the other side just yet.

It was getting closer to night so with only one small table light on the room was only dimly lit. But that didn't mean that the two men couldn't see their godson laying with out a shirt on the couch.

At the first site of the boy-who-lived remus felt to many emotions at once to count. The first of course was sadness and a sudden pang of hurt in his chest. He couldn't believe in a million years what he was seeing could be real. The second was worry he knew that sirius usually didn't react to things that involved this much emotion well. The werewolf was just waiting for the moment that his friend shot up and began to scream about all the horrible things that he was going to do to those muggles that raised harry.

But as it would seem sirius decided that moment to change his ways and took remus by complete surprise when instead of freaking out gently crouched down by harry's side and began to stroke his face and hair. And even though they both knew very well that harry was sleeping they both heard all the quiet promises of safety and "I'm sorrys" that sirius whispered ever so lightly to his godson.

You see the boy-who-lived was covered in bruises and cuts all over his body. There were so many that you could barley see past them to see skin. It was an array of black and blue, with some scars open and turning red or white.

As remus bent down beside his godson too he could tell that some of these scars were very old and hadn't healed correctly, therefore making a permanent mark on harry's body. After all he knew about old non healing scars, having a werewolf's transformation once a month would always lead to some sort of cut. Whether it be from the transformation itself or from something that happened when he was in his werewolf state.

It made him angry to think that the abuse had been going on for a long amount of time.

After giving the two men their space and time to process the situation poppy stepped back in to the room.

" I know that you're both not going to want to hear this but there are more on his back, which seemed to have been caused by a belt and slightly healed cuts and bruises on his arms and all down his legs." Her tone was grave as she stood on one side of the couch looking down on her patient.

A small and almost unheard sniff was heard from sirius as he kept his head down and his hand in harry's. But because remus's werewolf enhanced sense of hearing it didn't go by unnoticed.

" It'll be ok sirius." Remus assured with a gentle tone. He slowly put a hand on his best friends back to give him some form of support.

The still hung down head of sirius black shock slightly with a quiet "no" being muttered.

" Of course it will, yes things will be hard to get back to normal but things for harry will turn out ok."

The ex-convict looked up and made eye contact with a sad but angry look on his face. "How on earth can you say that!" he partially yelled but he knew that for harry he had to keep his voice at least almost at a whisper. " In case you haven't noticed moony my godson is unconscious covered in wounds on a couch. So how in the world are things going to get better for harry? Please give me an explanation."

Remus looked down and gave a sigh before he looked up and made straight eye contact with sirius.

"Because he has you and me in his life now and I known that you'll do anything in your power to make sure harry gets the care that he needs."

" Which is exactly what he needs now," Poppy added in from her spot.

Sirius looked up at her and was about to say something before the nurse stopped him with a wave of her hand, signaling that she wasn't finished speaking just yet.

" The crucio curse has put a lot of strain and stress on his body in his already worn out state therefore making him more likely to get sick, and with further examination I discovered that most of these wounds are very infected."

Remus turned his gaze from madam Promfrey to the sick boy on the couch before him. " Which means?" the werewolf asked in a grave tone of voice.

Poppy closed her eyes and slowly took a deep breath before delivering the bad news to the guardians of the boy-who-lived. " It means Mr. Lupin that this boy is very ill. I'm going to wrap him up in some medical gauze now I just wanted you to see the damage before I did."

" Isn't there something we can do, a spell of some kinds?" Sirius asked finally processing what was begin said to him.

" Unfortunately some of the wounds are so old that magic can't heal them on it's own, yes harry's magic will help the healing process along and make them heal quicker but most of the healing will have to be done by us. They will have to be cleaned regularly most likely every day for the next few weeks."

"And how are we supposed to do that?"

She leaned down and pointed out one of the wounds to the men she was teaching. " You'll have to clean each wound separately. First you must wash your hands _**very**_ thoroughly and I request that you use gloves, I will send some antibacterial solution over and you will use that to clean the area around and near the wound off. Once that is over carefully wash out any foreign matter or pus that is in the area and when that it all accomplished you'll put some antibiotic ointment and cover it back up with the gauze. Yes I'll have to send that over to along with some extra gauze and pain potions just in case it stings to much." The last part of her rant was more directed at herself than to the other men.

"Are you sure that I'm the right person to do this?" Sirius asked with a sudden worry in his tone. Truth be told he was expecting to screw this up some how, after all that's what he was always doing. He really did want to help harry but he didn't want to cause him more pain because of a stupid mistake.

" Oh of course you are sirius, you're going to have to learn sometime since I can't always be here. But I'm sure that remus would be more than happy to help and I can stop by every now and then till school starts."

Remus nodded at the ex-convict to show him that it was true. He himself was also more than a little worried about treating harry's scars but he knew that it had to be done so he was more than willing to help.

" When will this have to start." Sirius asked finally gaining a little bit more confidence in himself.

" I will finish it this time but since I'm need at tomorrow so you'll have to clean them then."

A slight sniff up and twist from harry caused everyone's attention to turn to him. " Well it would seem that he's finally waking up, I'll let the both of you have a minute with him before I have to come back in and fix him up."

-HPHPHPHPHPHPHP-

Harry could barely make out what the voices over him were saying but he knew that they were there. He tried to open his mouth and ask what the voices were discussing but at the moment he couldn't get any words out.

He tried to get up but for the life of him his body was just so stiff. The boy-who-lived only succeeded in moving an inch before he felt a jolt of pain throughout his body.

He finally remembered what was happening before he was knocked out by the crucio curse. The deatheater! Was he still in the forest and more importantly was harry himself still on the forest floor? Speaking of that where in the world was he now? Suddenly feeling very worried that he might still be hopelessly lost in the forest or somewhere with Voldemort near he jolted up with panting breathes.

" Whoa whoa slow down there kiddo, everything's ok, you're safe."

The distant voice sounded strangely comforting and familiar but in his current state he couldn't figure out who was trying to calm him down.

The longer that he was awake the more things were coming onto focus around him. Immediately he realized that the voices soothing him were from his godfathers remus and sirius. Feeling safe the second that he knew who was around him he allowed himself to listen to them and gingery lay back down.

Though he still couldn't force out words no matter how hard he tried, he throat was just to dry. A pair of hands handed harry his glasses so he was able to see. Once that was over harry looked over at his godfathers and put his hand around his throat as if to somehow signal that he needed a drink. At the moment a butter bear sounded very nice and refreshing.

Remus however was prepared as always and had a glass of water right in his hands once he understood what harry meant.

" I knew that you might need this so I had dobby bring it out for when you woke up, just in case."

Harry raised an eyebrow at remus at the mention of the house elfs name. He didn't think that he could be in the same vicinity as dobby without his friend watching his every move.

" Yes dobby's in the kitchen at the moment once Dumbledore heard of your state he sent him over. Thought we might need some extra help I suppose."

" I'll tell you one thing though pup that house elf of yours really seems to worship you, bit creepy really." Sirius added in with an odd look crossing his face.

The seeker couldn't help but to smile. Yes dobby was a bit odd and stakerish but over the years harry had grown rather fond of him.

All of a sudden there was a loud crash coming from the kitchen area, it sounded as if a pot had been dropped. Remus cracked up and called out.

" It's ok come have a quick look!"

The ex dada professor motioned for harry to turn around and when he did he was met with the sight of dobby peaking over into the living room.

The house elf had only it's head sticking out and was hiding it's body behind the wall that separated the two rooms, proving that he wouldn't enter fully. However there was a rather large grin spreading across his face and as soon as harry looked at him and smiled back he bowed lowly and then snapped and was off to who knows where.

Sirius gave a bark of a laugh and muttered something about dobby being obsessed with harry. Taking no notice of his friends comment remus finally handed the boy-who-lived his water, as harry had begun to cough slightly.

Once harry had taken a couple of sips he finally felt like he could talk again. " Thank you, I really needed that."

" Of course you did kid." Sirius replied as he reached over and ruffled the large mop of black hair located on harry's skull. He was very happy to see that his godson didn't flinch away form him this time. It gave him an odd sort of satisfactory in knowing that harry wasn't scared of him hurting him anymore.

" Do you feel ok?" Remus asked in a worried tone. He knew that after all harry had been through that he probably didn't feel very well but oh well there was no harm in asking.

Harry looked as if he was about to reassure the men that he was fine but with one glance over at Sirius's upset face he knew it wouldn't do him any good to lie.

" Alright I feel horrible, my body aches and I have the worst headache imaginable." He bowed his head as if he was ashamed to tell them that and something in Sirius's heart was suddenly filled with sadness.

" You happen to be very ill at the moment harry." Sirius explained.

A small smile graced harry's lips as he responded, " I had a feeling that I was, at the moment I feel as If I could topple over at any second."

" I figured as much but it's ok madam Promfrey is here and she'll get you fixed up as soon as possible." Remus explained.

" She's.. she's seen t them then?"

" Harry in case you haven't noticed you're shirtless," Remus said in a gentle tone. Knowing that harry had tired for so long to keep the bruises and cuts hidden from everyone. "But don't worry you don't have to hid anymore." he added hastily.

Harry looked between remus and sirius with a grateful look on his face. He knew that things weren't going to be better right away but having someone to help him along the way was always a good thing.

"Well gentlemen it's time for me to take care of harry's wounds I have to ask you to exit the room for the moment being." Madam Promfrey's voice rang out through the living room alerting everyone of her presence.

" Will you be alright if I leave pup?" Sirius asked. Not really wanting to get harry out of his sights again.

Harry nodded and hummed not really wanting to speak. But he was pretty sure that it was enough to reassure his godfather that he wouldn't take off on him again.

And it was right after he did remus and sirius got up and with one last glance at their ward went out of the room.

' _probably to go tell the others how I'm doing_.' Harry thought.

" Well then Mr. Potter we shall begin."

The med wizard then began to heal all she could with her magic and wrap up what she couldn't for the time being.

It took two hours for it to all be done, and harry was feeling rather sleepy after. He guessed that it had something to do with the one of the potions that madam Promfrey had given him when they had started.

" That's it for today Mr. Potter I must be back to Hogwarts, but I'll send them in to look after you before I leave."

Before she left she handed him a fresh shirt to put on. He reconized it as one that he had bought with remus a while back. It was funny how that seemed so long ago now when it had only just happened. Harry remembered being quite nervous to go clothes shopping with remus. He thought that the werewolf would have suspected something since harry constantly refused to try anything on. But to his reflief remus didn't say a thing.

Harry felt like laughing as he remembered. All of the work he put into hiding the abuse had all gone down the drain now.

Harry had known that when madam Promfrey had mentioned "them" she was probably referring to everyone how lived in the house. After all no one was around at the moment all downstairs. Which was an odd thing since so many people lived here. They all couldn't have cleared out of their _**own **_house for the night just so that he could rest and be taken care of could they?

At the thought harry begin to feel extremely guilty. But it went unnoticed by poppy however who quickly gathered up here things and said her goodbyes.

A few moments after she left the magical house begin to fill up with it's inhibitions. That included all of the Weasleys and sirius and remus. Harry was glad that he had used his short time alone to quickly put on the shirt, no matter how much his bones ached to. He really didn't want everyone to see all the damage on his body.

The sudden rush of noise was overwhelming to the chosen one for some reason. And when everyone began to come near him and constantly ask how he was feeling harry had a sudden want to run upstairs and hid from all the chaos that was circling around him.

Noticing that harry was looking a little trapped and scared remus alerted sirius with a jap to his ribs by his elbow. Seeing at once what was the problem sirius came to the rescue with remus not far behind him.

He helped his godson up and told the crowd that had gathered around the boy-who-lived that harry was going to go rest up stairs till dinner time and the he and remus would accompany him to Ron's room.

The three ignored he all that volunteered to help and assured them that they would see him later.

Harry slowly walked up the stairs to his friends room, he was feeling very stiff after all. Sirius walked next to harry and put a hand on his back just in case he fell or had to stop suddenly. Remus took up the rear since there wasn't that much space on the staircase for them both to help harry up.

Once in Ron's room harry prominently collapsed on the extra bed that he been set next to Ron's for him. He couldn't understand where this sudden feeling of depression and fear of crowds had come from but then again he really didn't want to deal with it this second.

Sirius shared a worried look with Remus as harry rolled away from them and curled up into his self. Not even bothering to get under the freshly washed blankets or remove his glasses from his face.

Cautiously remus took a small step towards the bed.

" Are you alright harry? Need anything, anything at all?"

Harry hummed once to tell them he was aright and then shook his head to show that he wasn't in need of anything at the time.

Sirius looked at his godson's back with a concerned look on his face but remus stopped him from asking anything else by grabbing his arm and gently walking them out of the room. He thought that it would be best if harry just had some privacy for the time being. At dinner maybe they could try and get him to open up.

The werewolf made sure to dim down the lights in the room with his wand before he and sirius exited and shut the door softly behind them.

" What do you think that was about moony? He.. He looked so sad. Do you think something happened that we don't know about?" Sirius whispered as they stood outside the door. He didn't want harry to listen in on their conversation and feel worse.

" Nothing could have, at least not that I know of. He was only with poppy for a short time, then everyone came back in."

They carried on talking as they made their way slowly down the hall and to the stairs.

"Do you think it would be wise to ask him about it during or after dinner?" Sirius asked. The ex-convict wanted to help harry as soon as was possible for them.

" Maybe, Maybe not, we can try and if it doesn't work poppy will always be back tomorrow to clean his wounds maybe she'll know."

" Splendid! Then we can finally be on track to becoming a happy family." Sirius said cheerfully with a smile as they walked down the stairs.

Remus's eyebrows went up to his forehead as he had the thought that his old friend was quite suddenly turning into Ablus Dumbledore. Though he dismissed the thought and blamed Sirius's cheerfulness on the fact that he was finally able to take care of harry.

" So at dinner then?" Padfoot questioned breaking remus from his train of thought.

" Yes sure then, but in the mean time not a word to the Weasleys about what's going on with harry or what we saw. Something tells me that harry wouldn't be to happy if we told them."

Sirius nodded and in that moment they were back into the Weasley crowded living room.

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**Hi everyone, just wanted to say that this isn't the end of the story even though it may look like it. But I still have plans so there will be more to read soon. **

**As an extra note I took the info on infected wound cleaning from a friend of mine that had to do it once. Though it was a while ago so it might have some flaws.**

**Thank you all for reviewing and I hope you go and see the new Harry Potter movie that just came into theaters :D. **


	20. chaotic dinner

**ok here we go with chap 20! Sorry for not updating. New years eve was my birthday and it turned out to be the birthday from hell so I didn't really have any inspiration.**

**what happened in the last chapter**

" So at dinner then?" Padfoot questioned breaking remus from his train of thought.

" Yes sure then, but in the mean time not a word to the Weasleys about what's going on with harry or what we saw. Something tells me that harry wouldn't be to happy if we told them."

Sirius nodded and in that moment they were back into the Weasley crowded living room

**-**HPHPHPHPHPHPHP-

" Come on kiddo, up you go. It's time for dinner." Sirius whispered softly into a sleeping harry's ear. As remus watched from his spot by the door, gradually lighting up the dim room more and more as harry began to stir.

Finally giving up on falling back asleep with his godfather whispering to him he sighed and opened his eyes. Only to have his glasses thrust in right in front of his face. He guessed that sirius or remus must have taken them off while he slept.

" Thank you." the chosen one said in a husky voice, he had really fallen into a deep sleep.

Using his energy harry took a deep breath and hopped out of bed. He realized then that he hadn't even bothered to take off his clothes or even get under the covers.

" Come on now, downstairs for some of molly's meatloaf and then you can head back to bed if you want." Remus stated as he began to walk out and ushered the slowly moving pair out with him.

There was no conversation as they all walked down the stairs. For reasons unknown to him harry was still feeling very uncomfortable around anyone and was just all around very upset.

When they were halfway down harry legs started to cramp up, he guessed that that would happen sooner or later with all the running that he had done only hours before. Yes he had practice from running from his uncle and his cousin with his goons but that seemed to be such a long time ago compared to where he was now. He finally had a_ home_! And remus and sirius were now in his life for good, nothing could take them away. But for some reason he couldn't get as excited about that as he had done in the past. Maybe it was the threat of the war coming closer and closer or maybe it was all the damage that his so called relatives did. But for now harry couldn't pin point any reason why he was feeling so sad.

Eventually the pain and throbbing became to much and he had to stop on one of the steps. Harry let out a sigh of annoyance while he closed his eyes and racked a hand through his unruly hair.

With his eyes closed harry didn't see the worried look remus and sirius exchange. Both agreeing that maybe talking about what their godson was going through at dinner didn't seem like the best idea they had ever come up with. Especially since all of the Weasley clan was going to be around and listening in. They knew that harry would eventually tell all of them the extent of the abuse and hurt but it would probably be better for harry to do it on his own time. When he was sure he was over it and didn't blame himself and when he was ready to handle a very sad Molly Weasley.

" You alright there pup?" Sirius asked gently.

"Yeah fine, my legs are just hurting something fierce, probably from all of that running I did for no reason." he said with a small laugh and a slightly joking tone. Obviously trying to lighten up the dark mood that had suddenly fell between every one but nothing was working.

"Harry you were also hit with a cruciatus curse, don't you remember?"

the boy-who-lived searched his brain for a few minutes looking for that moment but it wasn't there. Sure he was feeling the side affects of it, but he couldn't place when it had happened, after he ran into that snake in the forest everything seemed to be a blur.

" no no I can't sorry." and with that harry began to walk back done the stairs.

Before following after him remus turned to sirius and said. " I don't know exactly what that means but I doubt that it's a good sign."

Sirius groaned and rolled his head back. " Great just what harry needs more bad signs."

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Dinner was more chaotic than either remus or sirius wanted. Everyone in the house wanted to see and talk to harry. Even though the harry had made it clear just by his body language that he wanted to be left alone and eat in peace.

" Oh you poor dear! After all you've been through to find out that those scars are infected! You must be overwhelmed." Molly exclaimed for what seemed like the eightieth time since they sat down.

Sirius was suddenly regretting telling her the news. After she started up again on how sorry for him she felt and asking him if he was in any pain he had had enough.

Sirius and remus were surprised at how many different reactions the Weasleys were having to the news that harry had been neglected.

Molly was very concerned and constantly wanted to know if harry was alright. However Arthur was very distressed and almost looked confused. Sirius had told remus that he guessed it was because Arthur was trying to figure out how harry was always around him and he never picked up on something being wrong. Bill and Charlie looked extremely sad and hardly talked for the rest of the night only saying a few words here and there. The twins had looked like the world had ended and that they would never be happy again. And ginny had taken just not talking at all and looking very pale.

Ron nevertheless had the strangest reaction of them all. His whole face was white during dinner and every now and again looked over in harry's direction only to look back at his plate again. But his face also hinted at him being embarrassed, probably because he was the one that had told harry's godfathers in the first place.

Sirius made a mental note to later tell him that although he had betrayed harry's trust by telling them when he wanted no one to know, he had helped harry from hurt and injury in the long run.

Sirius admitted a growl that sounded a lot like padfoot he began to stand. Remus, knowing that sirius was at the end of his stick put a hand on his shoulder and forced it back down. While lightly saying, " don't worry let me see what I can do."

He sat up a little straighter and looked across that table at . " Molly I do think that harry is,"

The ex dada professor was cut short when in a haste harry got up without a word causing his chair to fall back and suddenly ran up the stairs.

Everyone was shocked most of all Molly, she had been right in the middle of trying to get another answer out of him.

Not even asking remus if he would join him sirius got up and went after harry. His eyes were filled to the brim with worry and concern was etched all over his face.

" Oh! Remus this cant be good! He has no idea what to do with an abused boy." she said as if she knew herself.

You could hear ron groan out "Mom!" in annoyance. Apparently he was getting tired of his mom talking like that too for she had been all night.

Remus as feeling annoyed as ron simply said, " He does molly know quite a bit after the family he had to grow up in so don't think not. He also cares for harry very much now," he paused briefly to cough into his hand, " if you'll all excuse me I feel the need to go and see if harry is fairing well."

Well that definitely shut the woman up! And also caused the rest of the room to look at with raised eyebrows. They had never heard remus say something like that, he was always so quiet and soft spoken. But tonight he had reached his limits. He didn't care if he sounded rude, she was on his and Sirius's nerves after all. And he didn't even give a thought to asking for forgiveness later.

All he wanted to do was make sure harry was alright and then get them home so they could _possibly_ discuss it there.

Not giving a glance back to the table he pushed his chair back and got up following that same path sirius and harry both had only minutes ago.

Remus reached the door and as soon as he went to grab the knob sirius opened it. Remus gave him a questioning look but sirius softly explained that he had heard him coming up. The ex-convict moved out of the way and let remus in while pointing over to the boy-who-lived.

Harry was standing with his back to them, staring out the only window in ron's bedroom. Just staring not saying a word or even moving. Remus took a guess that if he could see his face too you could see that he wasn't even blinking.

" He's been like that since I got up here. I can't get him to open up and tell me what's wrong. Think maybe you could try?"

Without a word spoken remus moved across the room and stood beside harry. Looking out the window also and at harry out of the corner of his eye.

" It's a very beautiful night tonight isn't it harry?"

The chosen one gave a sigh before answering, " Yes, it's brilliant." He didn't even look up at remus.

" That's why I've always liked to go outside for my transformations other then be locked up in room like I some nights had to while at Hogwarts. I guess that I was more fun getting to use all of my heightened senses on sniffing weird plants and what not. It gave me a feeling of freedom and relief that I understand you get while riding on a broom." Once his speak was finished he gave harry a few moments of silence to process the meaning of all that he had said.

" I do. When I'm on my broom it's like nothing can catch me and I have the whole entire sky opened up for me to fly somewhere that I can finally have peace." he looked over to remus and began to speak more. " but that would be running away wouldn't it, letting wizards down, that is if I leave without killing Voldemort."

Remus stretched out his arm and put it on harry's shoulder, pretending for harry's sake not to notice the way harry leaned in to him as if looking for comfort. He knew that the young wizard probably hadn't done it on purpose or even noticed he did.

" Not at all cub, not at all. Everyone deserves a break for peace and quiet every now and again. And you of all people I know need one the most. Just get passed Voldemort and then you're free to live however you want. No more safe houses, being scared, or fighting. Just you padfoot and I."

" I've never actually thought that hard about it but now that I do it's a win win isn't it? I can either kill Voldemort and get a life with the two of you, or I lose and die and get to rest….. Yes I'll be letting down the wizardering world but it'll finally be over. I'll have peace and then at least I can say I tried. Not just ran like a git like Lockhart."

Both of the boys godfathers were taken back by the statement they had never thought that something like that would come out of the boys mouth however it made more sense when he added.

" … and then I'll get my mom and dad and Cedric back."

" Come on pup lets get you home, maybe remus will even make you some hot chocolate and we can talk." sirius came in.

At the mention of talking harry looked rapidly around the room and both men sensed his panic.

" Don't worry that will come later, for now I really want to hear that story of you flying an invisible car to Hogwarts or maybe the one about the flying aunt. And best of all dobby will be waiting there for you, and you know he'll want to say hello."

Harry's face brightened and he left the room. Saying that he was heading down to tell the Weasleys that they were leaving and ron that he didn't blame him. He promised he would come back up once he was done. Remus was grateful for that he couldn't imagine heading back downstairs after all he had said.

" You don't think that he really meant that do you? You know the wining if he dies thing." sirius asked worriedly.

Remus ran a hand through his tawny brown hair and replied, " He might be depressed padfoot. With all of the pressure he has on him to save the world right when he's of legal age and from the abuse. But I can tell you one thing if he does get suicidal than were going to be facing lost of bumps in our road to recovery."

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	21. Hot coco at home

**Hey guys, I am so so sorry but I had an extreme case of writers block. But chapter 21 is finally here. More at bottom.**

Finally they were able to leave the Weasley's house. It had been quite hard seeing as that everyone wanted to say goodbye over and over again and constantly ask harry why he had run off. However after a little ( ok a lot) of pushing and shoving Sirius finally managed to grab a hold of his godson and apparate out.

They landed in the living room and as soon as they had remus went into the kitchen declaring that he would be back in a moment, he just wanted to grab something for all of them. Harry had a strong guess that it had something to do with chocolate, seeing as remus was very obsessed with it.

Sure enough right as Sirius and him had started a fire and got comfortable in their armchairs remus joined them this time levitating three warm mugs of hot coco.

" Here you go cub, this ought to warm you up." He said as he handed harry his cup.

Harry drank silently while absent mindedly staring at the red and orange dancing flames in their fireplace. He was trying very hard to ignore the stares he was receiving from his godfathers. He hoped that they would just ended up forgetting what he had said earlier about dying. It wasn't a subject he wanted to talk about now or even in the near future. Right in this moment all he wanted to do was be with his family and be a regular teenager till the time came that he would have to kill Voldemort.

The Golden boy then began to look around where he was sitting. He did this without even noticing that it was happening. The only thought that was going through his mind was how weird it was that the last time he had been in this room no one had known about the abuse and now… well now it was all out in the open.

He knew that eventually he would have to explain and talk about everything with remus and Sirius but he decided to not even worry about that tonight. That would indeed come later much much later if he had his way.

" Are you doing alright harry?" Sirius asked a little nervously. The truth was that he had planned most of what he would say in his head while they were at the Weasley's but now that he was at home it had all left his mind.

Harry heard the timidness in his voice and felt his heart contract with emotion. The one thing he didn't want above all else was for Sirius and remus to believe that they had to walk on egg shells around him. He wanted no.. needed them to still see him as harry. Their last connection to James and Lily potter and their always in trouble godson. He knew that he wouldn't be able to handle it if one of them treated him differently because of what had gone on at the Dursley's.

" I'm fine siri, don't worry just looking around." he reassured trying to put on his most happy smile. He even tried out the new nickname he had thought of for Sirius.

Remus noticed this but decided against saying anything at the moment. He knew that in time everything would come out and they would know all that had gone on in harry's life. Though for now things would be as they were before and maybe tomorrow they could sit down for a long chat and cover not only the abuse but also what had happened in harry's first and second years.

Truth be told remus was a little jealous that Sirius had broken into harry's pensive and looked through what he wanted. He was mentally cursing himself for being such a do gooder and refusing to invade harry's privacy. Yes, he understood that it wasn't the right thing to do and that when harry again remembered that Sirius had done it that harry would be very upset. But what harm was only thinking about maybe doing it in the near future. They were only thoughts after all.

" So Ron," Sirius paused in seeing his godson flinch. He knew that harry was remembering that it was ron who had confirmed their idea of the abuse, " brought up some of the most interesting things."

He left it off there hoping that harry would get curious enough to engage him in conversation and ask what those things were. Sirius pretended to not see remus eyeing the room with harry's thoughts and pensive and started a conversation so that he could pretend that he didn't feel so guilty in doing something that had been wrong but seemed like such a good idea at the time.

It didn't take long at all for harry's head to perk up and for him to say, " Really, what were they?"

"Nothing really just some hints at all the cool accidental magic you did before Hogwarts."

" But I do remember you mentioning turning you aunt into a balloon and I'm sure that was in your third year." remus chimed in.

" So it happened a lot then?" Sirius asked excitedly. There was nothing he like more than hearing about a prank and hearing about ones that harry had done was even better. He hoped that harry would bring up something that he hadn't looked at while in his pensive.

" Are you kidding me! All the time, that's why everyone at school thought I was a freak. Every where I went strange things seemed to just happen."

Sirius saw remus open his mouth, probably to explain why that happened in accidental magic and how it was all caused but he quickly shot him a look to silence him. He wanted to hear harry talk about something happily and not have him think on this whole abuse thing any longer tonight.

It wasn't long before harry started telling the story of how he had turned his teachers hair a bright shade of blue. Both remus and Sirius listened intently and nodded every now and then. Each of them wondering with anxiety in the back of their minds what tomorrow would bring and if harry would finally be up to opening up.

And if he didn't…..well then I guess they would just have to go to the Dursley's and find out themselves in a marauder type of way.

**I am so so sorry for the long time it took to update! ok i know that it's short but i couldn't think of anything else to write. But rest assured that even with all the wtiters block and distractions in my life i will have another one out soon. Right now i'm trying to decided on where to take this story, i have several ideas that many people are helping me chose from.**

**Well then all thats left is a quick thank you to all that read this story and review. i am really sorry it took so long.**


	22. Remus

**Alright Guys here it is and now I'm on a roll so there will be more after thanksgiving. I just wanted to thank all that have reviewed and reminded me that people wanted and were waiting for an update. As always speaking "..." and thoughts are in **_italic._

He couldn't figure out why he had even begun to believe that this would be a good idea. Normally he would have been able to control himself. To let James and Sirius be the ones who caused the most trouble. But having the room there, just a few steps away from his own was just so tempting.

He, Remus John Lupin, was about to break Harry's privacy in exactly the same way that Sirius had. Currently he was looking around Harry's pensive room, contemplating if he should just turn around and leave.

Earlier he had believed he could actually wait until Harry decided to tell them on his own. But Mooney the wolf inside him had other plans. This was the cub of his pack they were talking about! Mooney saw it as his duty to fix Harry's troubles and to do that well…. He would have to do this.

Silently he walked around the room. Careful not to make any noise seeing as everyone else was asleep. The selves were stocked full of everything he could ever imagine knowing about The-boy-who-lived. Moments from Harry's childhood to his school days and well everything in between.

His heart ached in his chest as Remus soon realized that all third year Harry had been in the same classroom with him and yet he never saw any of the signs, never got close enough to Harry to ask him about himself. He could feel mooney give a whine at the idea of Harry not telling him of all people, practically his uncle, about what he was going through at home. But that had been partially his own fault. Remus had come to believe at first that getting to know Harry on more family like level when he was teaching at Hogwarts would bring back the pain of losing James. After all they looked so much alike and to anyone just glancing at him they acted alike too.

But Remus knew that that wasn't true, when you got to know Harry, I mean really know him you could see both his parents, Lily and James. However then there was something else something that made Harry not just a clone of James or even a mix of him and Lily. But something that made Harry entirely himself.

He himself had tried all third year and was still trying to pin point what that was. Though he had yet to learn it he wasn't going to give up while he was still living.

Remus felt another pang of sadness as he suddenly thought that he could already have the information on Harry if he had been able to raise him. To take care of him in the way that a child was supposed to be taken care of. Nothing like the way the durselys had, from what he had heard from Harry they had even messed up Dudley. It was as if they could only parent in extremes, either completely spoiled or not taken care of at all.

Thinking back to him getting custody of Harry it was not that he hadn't tried. It was just that with his furry little problem, aka Mooney, no one would listen to his plea. He could still remember the day he had been turned down like it was yesterday.

_A fist slammed down in anger on Dumbledore's desk. Young and slightly stronger looking Remus Lupin was positively seething at the information he had just been given._

_"You left him with Petunia and her husband! But they're muggles they won't understand him or take care of him like a wizard of witch could!"_

_"Remus it is for the better, he couldn't grow up in the wizarding world and it is safer for him to be at his aunt's house, we have gone over this already." The headmaster replied with that same annoying twinkle still going in his eye. _

_Earlier that day Remus had gotten a fire call from Minerva saying that Harry had been dropped off at his aunt and uncles and would not be coming to live with him like he had asked for. He hadn't wasted any time getting straight to Hogwarts and to Dumbledore's office just to see if it was indeed true. _

_"I don't care how many times we've spoken about it Albus! Harry needs to be with me, I can care for him and love him with the same amount of love that Lily and James would have." His mind still couldn't process the fact that Harry had been just left there on a door step with a letter. Ha! A letter as if that would make everything better and explain all. _

_Harry shouldn't be there he should be with Remus drinking hot coco every night and continually reading. Well he and Sirius since Sirius was technically his godfather but he couldn't even stand to think about his other old friend at the moment. _

_" I understand Remus that you are angry with all that has happened concerning young Mr. Potter but there is no way even if had had not gone to his aunt's that you would be able to has custody of him. The ministry will not allow it to happen, not with you being what you are."_

_That sentence slowly washed over Mr. Lupin and he knew deep down that Dumbledore was right. Even if there was a plan, such as Harry going to the Weasleys every full moon the ministry still wouldn't allow it. They believed that all werewolves were just horrible human beings also. _

_"Dumbledore... I... I need this; I need him... after everything we've both lost. After how we've both been betrayed, we're the last thing we have left." He said timidly as his last hope. The pain of just recently losing not one but all of his friends coming back at him full force. _

_The Headmasters eyes softened a little and his gaze saddened. As he remembered that Remus wasn't only fighting for custody of Harry but also for his last connection to James and Lily Potter._

_"I understand your pain my young friend but this is the way things are. I'm deeply sorry but there is no changing it what's done is done."_

_"I… (Cough) I can't even go and visit him?" Remus asked. Going out on a limb and knowing that it wasn't as good as having him live with him but was better than not seeing him at all. _

_"No Remus I am sorry but that is not possible."_

_There wasn't even a reason why not, the because I said so and that's final was very childish and was not said by the elderly headmaster but Remus still heard it loud and clear. So with a sigh of pain he turned away, walked out and shut the door as softly as he could. Hoping that tea and a nice rich bar of chocolate would stop the tears from coming to him that night._

Remembering that fight suddenly made Remus very angry with Albus Dumbledore. And why shouldn't he be? After all it was Dumbledore's call to leave Harry with Petunia and he would bet money that he never even thought to check up on him. Believing in his own naïve way that families would always take care of each other and that that love was just automatically there. Usually however it was but there were some cases, Harry's being the prime example, which showed that it was not all the time.

He gave one last look to the door that would lead him out and turned away from it and began his search for the perfect memory to watch.

**Okay so it's short I know but now that it's done I need your help. WHAT MEMORY SHOULD REMUS WATCH? I'll take any and all ideas whether it is something made up from the Durselys of something that was actually in the book.**


	23. What Remus watched

**Thank you all to those who reviewed and story alerted and favorite and so forth. It really made my day :****J. Okay so Pensieve moments are _italic. _And I use a direct quote from order of the phoenix Ibelieve, that is also in italic**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything and/or the quote from harry potter and the order of the phoenix.**

Lupin walked slowly around the room for a few more moments. Finally after much consideration he decided to watch something from the durselys. He knew that it wouldn't be pleasant and that mooney would probably go nuts, but he couldn't stand not knowing.

He however didn't have the heart to actually look through them and pick. So instead he closed his eyes and grabbed at random. Hoping that whatever he chose wasn't that disturbing. Then he grabbed the Pensieve and prepared the memory. He took a deep breath and waited a moment to ask himself if he really voluntarily wanted to see something like this. Deciding that he had to for harry he went back to the task at hand. Once everything was settled he slowly lowered himself into the scene.

_Remus could tell immediately that he was at number four privet drive. He had landed smack dab in the middle of the durselys lawn to be precise. Lupin looked around at his surroundings, all appeared to be calm. The sun was about to set, birds were merrily chirping in a tree nearby, in the distance you could hear car doors opening and then soon after closing. From inside the durselys residence you could hear the distinct sound of voices in a conversation and the low rumble of a TV in the background. _

_Wasting no time in getting inside Remus hurried in to see what he had come to view. There was Harry's fat lump of an uncle sitting on the couch. Next to him was his son, who even at such a young age was almost as big as his father width wise. The boy's eyes were set on whatever was on the telly at that time._

_Hearing rustling behind him he turned around to face the kitchen, not seeing harry though but instead his horse faced aunt. Wearing a horrid looking dress that only seemed to amplify how bony she was. She looked to be trying to do the dishes and glare at something at the same time. Thinking that it might be Harry he turned back around. But it was not, instead it was a fat bulldog, which had a rather large id tag that read **ripper. **Drool was dripping slowly and in slimy clear ropes from his jowls onto the carpet. And the dog's slightly yellow but extremely sharp teeth were popping out from his mouth as he growled lowly._

_There was an insanely large hand slowly petting the dog on the back which drew him to look up from the dog and see what he thought at first was Vernon in woman's clothing. Upon closer inspection which almost made him sick up on the carpet he came to the realization that this was indeed a woman his was staring at. Even though he had never seen her before he knew that in some way she had to have been related to Harry's uncle Vernon. The look of them was just too similar not to be. _

_Realizing that she was talking he stopped paying attention to her appearance and listened in on what her and Vernon were discussing. The topic of that night appeared to be Harry and there hatred for him. _

_"I'm telling you Vernon, there is no sense at all in keeping such a horrible boy like that around. For all you know he could end up being a bad influence on Dudley! Take my advice and send him straight to an orphanage!" The strange woman raved on._

_"But Marge think about what people would say! The rumors that would go around on privet drive about us if someone found out we got rid of him. I would never be able to show my face in public again!" Petunia interrupted from her place in the kitchen._

_Remus desperately wanted to scream at her that she shouldn't ever show her face in public again after what she's done to Harry but knowing that no one would hear he refrained. He had also gained the new information that the man like woman in the living room with them was "Marge". _

_"Don't you worry about dudder's here," Vernon said "he knows that the freaks no good to be around, even takes after me and gives him a couple punches. The boy's even smart enough to make a game out of it with his friends. What's it called again Dudley?" _

_Dudley was forced out of his trance like state at the mention of his name. It took him a few moments but after a while he was finally able to form thoughts and replied "Harry hunting" before going back to stare absent mindedly at the TV screen._

_"Don't worry about us either Marge. Yes the boy is rotten but it's nothing I can't handle! You give him a good long beating every now and again to show him who's boss and pretty soon you can get him to do whatever you want." Vernon replied, making Remus glare. "Watch." He commanded Marge and turned his attention to a dark corner in the room._

_"BOY! Go and get me a large glass of brandy!" _

_Soon after Vernon's yelling's a very small looking Harry popped out of said corner which he had been quietly standing in. Remus could guess that he was around seven but in knowing that Harry would be tiny from all his neglect he knew that he was probably much older._

_Harry was wearing a red overly large and holey shirt the almost went down to his knees. On his legs were dirty and also huge blue jeans that were so close to falling down. _

_Treading carefully around the room Harry walked into the kitchen trying to ignore the harsh glares that were directed at him from everyone but Dudley (who was distracted by the TV) and Remus. Very slowly so not to make a mistake Harry pulled out a stool and got onto it to grab a glass for his uncle's drink. _

_It made Remus hurt to see try to leap to get to the cups as he was just out of reach from being so short for his age. He wanted desperately to go over and grab harry by the waist to give him an extra boost up. But he could not see as all of this had already happened. _

_Remus could hear Harry's breathe speed up and see him began to cast looks over at his uncle who was looking very impatient as it took longer and longer for Harry to get a glass. He felt sick at the thought that harry was scared of a beating. _

_Finally after one last large jump Harry was able to grab a glass come back down on the stool without hurting himself, much to Remus's delight._

_His victory was short lived because in the epic battle for the cup neither Harry nor Remus noticed Harry's Cousin Dudley sneak into the kitchen from the living room. And as soon as the glass was securely in Harry's hands and a small smile crossed his face Dudley kicked the stool out from under him and gave a teasing laugh and smirk. _

_Harry's small body crashed down to the ground as the stool was swept out from under him. He landed pretty hard on this head which made Remus cringe. However Remus was relieved to see him get back up and not appear to be too busted up. The glass was even still firmly in his left hand which made him smile in accomplishment. _

_"Hurry up freak!" Vernon called from the living room. Everyone had seen what Dudley had done to Harry but Remus noticed no one bothered to do anything. In fact it looked as if the hints of a smirk or smile were beginning on Petunia's face. _

_Moving as quickly as his small legs would carry him Harry found the brandy and poured it into the cup. Everything was going according to plan until his tried to deliver it to his uncle. _

_As Harry swept past invisible Remus and into the living room he didn't quite see the bulldog called ripper. So close to his destination and harry tripped on the carpet and in an effort to regain his footing accidently stepped on ripper's tail. _

_The dog instead of whining lashed out and began to bark loudly and cruelly towards harry. All the while snapping his jaw hoping for a taste of Harry's flesh for what he had done._

_Quickly Harry scooting across the rug to get away from the small but menacing dog. Ignoring the small shards of glass that had lodged in the skin of his left hand from when the glass went flying and broke in his hand. They didn't however go unnoticed by Remus, who felt mooney give a whine at the state of his cub._

_However Marge thought this was all such good fun and leaned down and unhooked ripper from his leash giving him free rein around the room to Harry. _

_Harry seeing this out of the corner of his eye promptly got up and began to run hoping to get away before the dog could sink his teeth into somewhere on his body. _

_The room erupted in laughter as ripper chased Harry around barking all the way. Everyone expect Remus and surprisingly petunia was enjoying the site before them. But both for very different reasons. Remus out of concern for Harry, and Harry's aunt because of the havoc the bulldog was unleashing on her house as it followed a panicking Harry. _

_Finally after one to many winces from her while they both came very close to knocking over something valuable aunt petunia opened the door to the lawn and made and ushering motion at harry with her hand to get him out of the house. Harry saw it and ran outside; aunt petunia still was cruel enough to leave the door open so ripper could follow._

_Seeing that everyone was just going to forget that harry was out there with the insane animal Remus followed them outside. His body aching with the want to do something, anything at all to help Harry out of the situation he was in now. _

_Eventually Harry began to get tired of running and climbed up one of the durselys trees in their backyard. He got to one of the top branches and then stopped, sitting there and panting to catch his breath._

_Ripper was on a mission though to tear Harry limb from limb and stayed in the garden at the base of the tree Harry was currently hanging from. Barking and growling at Harry, circling the tree and just waiting till Harry fell to the ground so that he could have a go at him. _

_Remus was fully prepared to wait it out with Harry and see how this ended. Even if it ended with Harry falling and ripper giving him a couple of painful bites. He was going to be there for his cub, even though this had already happened and Harry had no idea he was there. _

_However he never got that chance seeing as in that very moment things began to get fuzzy, the scene faded and before he knew it he was back in the Pensieve room._

Gasping from being thrown back so soon Remus was eventually able to regain his bearings and focus on what he had just saw. True it wasn't a beating but it still showed just how much his cub had been through at his horrid uncles' house. The sudden need to go the Durselys and marge and make them pay for their cruelness overtook Remus.

He knew from the beginning that he and mooney most of all would not like what they saw in the slightest. But he never imagined anything like this happening after he watched just one memory. It was still three weeks till the full moon but mooney was trying to take over Remus's body so he could find those durselys and tear them to pieces.

The chosen one was Mooney's cub after all! He had a right to get his justice for Harry!

Knowing that if he didn't calm himself and the wolf inside him soon horrible things would happen. Horrible things that would most likely result in Harry being taken away from Remus and maybe even Sirius.

So he tried his hardest to focus on the fact that Harry was safe now. In fact he was just up the stairs sleeping in a room that was close to his and Sirius's. Nevertheless it wouldn't work; mooney was still just as rallied up as before.

Getting desperate Lupin looked around the room hoping that not all of Harry's memories were painful and that he would be able to find a decent one that would calm him down and distract him from the inhuman cruelness he had just witnessed.

His patience wearing thin and mooney growing stronger by the second he finally found what he had been looking for. This memory was labeled "Firecall talk to Sirius", wishing that it would be a soothing conversation between godfather and godson he plunged into it.

- (I'm not going to write all of this up since I cannot remember most of it)

Coming out of it yes he was more cooled down than he was before but he was still very upset. However this time it was different, only he was angry not mooney and his anger was not directed towards the durselys but instead towards Sirius.

The words that Sirius had uttered to harry still rang clear in his mind even though he was no longer in the memory.

"_You're a lot less like your father than I thought," he said finally, a definite coolness in his voice. "The risk would've made it fun for James." _

How dare Sirius say something like that to Harry after he spent many a night arguing with everyone on how he did not see Harry as James!

Remus still couldn't get the look of pain on Harry's face out of his head after Sirius said that one chilling sentence to him.

It didn't matter if he actually meant it or if he was just in a bad mood from being held up in his old house it still was inexcusable! And it probably made Harry believe that Sirius hoped that Harry could be James for him. Which was not something that Harry needed to worry about at the moment, he needed to be relishing in the fact that he had a guardian who finally wanted to look over him.

Could that be the reason that harry had been flinching away from Sirius recently?*

Finally deciding that he didn't care how late it was or about the hard day they had just had, he was going to go wake Sirius up.

He traveled silently up the stairs hoping not to wake harry as he woke Sirius. Harry needed his rest after everything that had happened earlier.

In a matter of seconds but to him what felt like minutes he arrived at his old friend's door and knocked firmly. Hoping that it would be enough to wake his usually hard sleeper of a friend. It turns out it was, it didn't take long for Sirius's door to fly open.

Sirius stepped out in his nightclothes, "Harr...", but the name died on his lips as soon as he saw Remus instead.

"Sorry mooney, I was expecting harry thinking he might have had a nightmare or wanted to talk." Sirius explained with a smile and a look a relief. This slowly faded away when he noticed the very stern and serious look on his friends face.

Lupin almost couldn't bring himself to do what he was about to do when he was finally face to face with Sirius. But he knew he had to for Harry's sake.

"Remus old pal is something the matter?" Sirius questioned gently as Remus stayed silent.

Giving a sigh of defeat in not knowing what to say or how to word his anger Remus just motioned for Sirius to follow him. As he began to descend the stairs he was relieved when he heard Sirius's footsteps carefully following in his tracks.

Sooner rather than later they were back in the Pensieve room. Remus stepped ahead and motioned for Sirius to join him. Finally he could only point to the pensieve and say watch to Sirius.

Sirius did as he was told and plunged into the memory all the same as Remus had only minutes before. Remus waited patiently as Sirius watched the conversation he and his godson had had. Never taking his eyes off of Sirius and the pensieve.

Sirius emerged looking very sick and confused. "Remus what…?"

Before he could even finish his sentence Remus blew up with anger. The words spewed from his mouth, one after the other.

"Don't you see what's so wrong with that padfoot! How dare you compare him to James like that! He needed to believe that you were actually around to take care of him and not to get our old friend back! And besides that fact it was completely horrible advice as well. He needed to be where he was safe." Finally finishing his rant he took a few deep breaths to calm himself down.

"Now Remus I know it wasn't the best of advice and yes I was indeed a bit snappy but could you really blame me? I had been locked up in my family's old house for the past six months! And Harry's a smart boy he knew that I didn't mean anything like that by it. Remus he knows that I care for him like my own son, not like James at all."

"Does he now Sirius? Yes you go out of your way to care for him but didn't you see the hurt etched on his face after you said that? And more to that matter have you even actually told him that you don't see him as his father? Do you even remember calling him James in the department of mysteries?" *Remus asked. In truth he had completely forgot what he had heard during that battle. And if it wasn't for his advanced hearing he knew that he wouldn't have heard it at all.

Sirius suddenly went pale realizing that what Remus was saying to him was true. How could he have been so blind to not notice any of that?

Taking in Sirius's silence Remus added, "You try your best padfoot, really you do. And on most days you succeed on being an amazing godfather. Yes, there are some days that I too look at him and believe it's James. But the important thing to remember is it's not. I miss James to but that is no excuse and I would bet you all the gold in gringotts that that's why he's been acting so weird around you. Don't you remember his flinching earlier when you touched him old friend?" *

Black let out a frustrated puff of air as the pieces began to fall into place. He ran a shaky hand over his long curly hair.

"Talk to him tomorrow about this… if you don't Sirius I will."

And with that Remus walked away shut the door softly behind him and went to his room for soon well-deserved sleep. Leaving Sirius standing in the room alone with only his thoughts and worries for company.

**Okay so that's all.**

**First * I remember hearing that in the movie I believe but cannot remember if it was also in the book.**

**Second * it was mentioned in earlier chapters of Harry flinching away slightly and no one knowing why. Well here's the reason and also because of past mistreatment.**

**A Big thank you to all that helped in choosing Remus's memory to watch. Remember to review and fav please if you like what you read!**


	24. The fight

**Okay so as always here's another chapter and I do not own anything, still as broke as I was when I started this.**

**Also just a warning that some parts of this turned out to be more mushy than I had originally thought they would.**

After that painful conversation with Remus earlier it was no shock that Sirius couldn't fall back asleep. He sat now in the living room in the dark by himself with only the light from a fire in the fireplace. He slowly sipped on a steaming hot cup of tea while thoughts cashed after each other in his mind.

How could he have been so such an idiot! He knew very well that harry was harry, definitely not James or a replacement James for him. But then there were some moments when comments like "James" or "You're so much like your father" popped out. Honestly most of the time he didn't even notice it when it happened. And because harry didn't ever bring the issue up to him he never really felt like he should mention it either.

He cringed after thinking of fight after fight he had had with molly about this same subject. And how he had reassured her over and over again that he didn't think harry was James and that harry knew that **_very_** well. James was his best friend and harry was James's son… who happened to be more like his son these days, simple really. Sure they looked the same and sometimes even acted alike but Sirius had assured every one that he saw the difference in them, that it was an easy thing to do. Apparently it wasn't as easy as he thought; somehow he had messed up concerning it without him even noticing it.

Though now after all he and Remus had talked about it things started to fall into place. If Remus was right, which Sirius truly believed he was, and then harry was flinching away from him because he thought that maybe Sirius saw him only as his father. Yes, it was also directed back to the neglect that those damn durselys had given him. But Sirius had a strong feeling that a lot of it was about his "you're less like your father" quote.

Now all he had to do was figure out how to talk with harry about something like this. Sirius knew very well then teen would never willing sit down and have this conversation with him. To make this work he was going to have to be very sneaky.

He took a drink from his cup only to find that his once scalding tea was now icy cold. Gingerly he set his mug down on a small table next to the chair he was in.

Curious to what time it had to be looked up from the dancing flames to stare at a clock perched above the fireplace, he wasn't surprised to find that it was almost seven in the morning. Not seeing the point in heading all the way back up to his room for more rest when he would have to get up in an hour he stayed in his chair. Not even giving a thought to how his eyelids began to slowly drop after some time and before he knew it they had closed completely.

Remus had gone back up to his room after his little late night chat with padfoot. However it was completely useless since he couldn't manage to fall asleep for life of him.

He tossed and turned and moved over and over again. Not because he couldn't get comfy, no his bed was delightful to sleep on, but because he couldn't get that memory of harry's out of his head.

It taunted him for the rest of the night, mocking him about how he wasn't there. How while all that was happening to harry he was probably just sitting at home drinking tea and reading the paper.

The idea of this slowly began to fill him up with guilt; at least Sirius had an excuse from not being around seeing as he was in prison. But Remus, Remus didn't have anything like that, he had been around and he should have fought harder. He had just simply complied with Dumbledore and eventually forgot about the idea of harry coming to live with him.

He trusted Dumbledore with no proof whatsoever that harry was being cared for. Trusting only his word that they would love him as their own because he was their blood seemed very foolish now that he thought about it. But at the time it made all the sense and difference in the world, he supposed he just accepted it to clear the building guilt that was now coming back full force.

He felt as though he had failed in some way, that he had failed Sirius, harry, James, lily. Everyone he held dear to him all because harry had gone through that kind of pain without him, all because he was a werewolf. And he was sure that where ever Sirius was in their house, asleep or still awake, he was feeling the same thing.

Knocked out of his thoughts by the sound of his alarm going off he quickly got out of bed and knew he just had to see harry maybe even talk with him just to make sure he was happy and alright. He was not going to fail with him now like he had in the past.

Later Remus found himself sitting in a chair by harry's bed just staring absentmindedly at the boy who lived. It was weird and creepy he knew but he felt as an honorary uncle he had the right to. Besides he couldn't tear his gaze away. It almost seemed impossible that the young man sleeping sounding was once the little downtrodden boy who he had seen in that memory.

Realizing that it had been about ten straight minutes of just staring he carefully began his journey out of harry's room.

But as he began to walk out he stepped on the wrong part of the floor and before he could stop it where he was standing gave out a loud creek. To Remus it seemed to echo throughout the room for hours till finally silence again but it was already too late.

"R Remus?" Harry questioned. Looking up without his glasses and squinting in Remus's general direction. His voice still husky and thick with the sleep he had just come out of.

Deciding quickly that it would be even more weird if he ran out of the room he choose to reply, "Yes harry it's me."

"Oh." Was the only response he got back.

Fighting the urge to laugh at the squinted and confused gaze he was getting from his nephew Remus walked over to harry's nightstand and handed him his glasses.

"There you go, that should help some."

Harry wasted no time in getting them on his face, it was kind of strange not to have them laying there. The chosen one blinked a few times and let his eyes adjust before saying, "Oh wow... that's much better thank you."

"Of course it is I'll be going now and let you get up."

Before he could even take a step towards the door harry's voice, now clear, stopped him.

"Remus wait, was there something that you needed?"

Lupin turned back around to face harry while trying to come up with a good lie on why he was in harry's room. Though all those thoughts left his mind when he turned around and saw harry.

Harry's hair was messy from sleeping, a shoulder of his sleep shirt was slipping down and on accident reveled some black and blue bruises, and harry was currently rubbing his eyes with his hands underneath his glasses.

It was all too similar to what he had viewed just hours before in the pensieve room. A younger dirty harry covered in wounds and Dudley's large clothing, sitting atop a tree and rubbing his eyes to wipe his tears away while ripper continued to bark at him.

Not giving a thought to what he was doing Remus walked over to harry's bed and sat on the side of it.

"Remus? What are you..?"

"I'm sorry harry I just.." Remus trailed away, even he didn't have the slightest clue to what he was doing. But he felt as if he had to, had to see them and come to the harsh realization that every horrible wicked thing that had seen happen to harry was indeed true. A truth he had been trying to hide from himself ever since he looked in that pensieve.

Before he could stop himself he grabbed ahold of harry's left hand and pulled it towards him. He then proceeded to give it a proper inspection to see if and where there were any lasting damages from the glass that he had seen drive deep into this boy's flesh.

Sure enough there were tiny scars from where the glass shards had deeply imbedded themselves into harry's skin. Remus felt like he was going to be sick when he caught sight of them littering harry's palm and he cautiously ran a few fingers of his free hand over them.

"What do you think you're doing?" Harry demanded very confused about the way his uncle was acting and very nervous about how he knew exactly where to find those tiny scars. He hadn't told anyone they were there and no one had ever seen them before now.

Letting out a loud frustrated breathe Remus let go of harry and stood and walked over to harry's dresser. Propping his elbows on it and running his hands over his face and through his hair. He was thankful that in this position that his back was turned to harry so that he wouldn't have to see a couple of tears beginning to run their course down his cheeks.

"I know that you won't understand cub but I needed to see them need to see the lasting physical damages from not only the glass but everything else that had gone on."

_As if the other bruises and scars weren't enough. _Remus thought bitterly.

However understand harry did, he understood very well. There was no way that Remus could have known that those scars were from glass or where there for that matter without looking into his memories.

"You went through my memories?" Harry screeched, promptly hopping out of bed.

Wiping off any proof that he had been crying from his face Remus turned back around to harry. He knew that he was going to have to fess up to what he had done but he also had to make harry see why he had done it in the first place.

"Yes Harry I did… now I know you're doing to be angry but,"

"No don't! You couldn't wait for me be able to tell you? You had to break my privacy?" For reasons unknown to him harry was on the verge of tears himself. It showed to Remus from his voice beginning to shake.

"Now harry, I understand what I have done but I had to know, I needed to know to help you." Remus was fighting to keep his voice level. He was hoping this could just turn into a discussion not an argument but it wasn't heading in that direction at all.

"I TOLD YOU I WOULD TALK WHEN I WAS READY!"

Lily's temper began to show because harry was getting frantic. He didn't know if he was angry because they had gone through his personal moments without asking or if it was just the fact that they knew about the abuse in the first place.

Remus had to wince at the loudness of harry's yelling due to his sensitive werewolf hearing. "Harry please," he began "you have to understand that I only looked because I love you and I want you to feel safe and happy."

"I was safe and happy before anyone found out about happened at the durselys! Why is everyone freaking out about this?"

Again without thinking Remus ended up doing something entirely wrong. He marched over to his nephew and planted a hand into his shoulder nails almost digging in to the skin and clenched his fist around harry's other arm.

"Because it's a big deal harry! It was abuse! Why can't you see that?" he questioned. Finally losing whatever patience he had left and raising his voice. With every word he tightened his grip on harry, without knowing his face began to loom down on Harry's.

Harry felt his pulse quicken, flashes of memories from what had gone on at the durselys took over. There was no longer him, his room, or Remus . Instead it was like a movie playing before his eyes, things like being locked in his cupboard all night stomach hurting from hunger. Aunt petunia taking a swing at his head with her frying pan, being taunted by Dudley for not having any parents, and uncle Vernon grabbing ahold of harry's arm and hair and snarling.

Before he knew it tears became to gather at the corners of his eyes and he inhaled sharply.

Hearing that and finally getting a clear look at harry's anguished face brought Remus back. Looking down slightly he saw what he was doing. He quickly let go of harry and jumped away from him, asking himself in disbelief what he had just done.

Lupin knew he had probably brought back thousands of horrible memories for harry and he might have just lost all the progress he had made in gaining his trust.

"Harry I'm…," but am I'm sorry didn't seem like enough to show him how much he regretted what had just happened, "I can swear to you I have no intention of hurting you nor have I ever. You have to believe me harry all I want to do is take care of you… I am truly sorry for what just happened even though I know that won't make up for it." He did his best to keep his voice gentle and soothing despite the fact that it was shaking.

But all harry felt like he could do was stare at him, he couldn't bring himself to form words or even thoughts. His mind was still trying to process what he had just been through.

Hearing only silence from harry and when he kept looking at him with that same lost puppy look Remus couldn't take it. He wanted to talk for hours about how he never meant it and that he would never hurt him, he was his cub. But at the moment he wasn't sure how much harry would hear, he seemed to be in shock.

Taking a small step to the boy-who-lived he hoped he could comfort him in some way. Hold him and prove to him that he was safe here with him and Sirius. Nevertheless as he did so harry tried to take a step back and almost ended up crashing back down onto his bed, having to throw out a hand to steady himself.

They stood on silence for a few more moments, neither knowing how to approach the other. And when it became painfully obvious that both of them weren't going to talk any time soon Remus slowly made his leave. Hoping that the distance would give harry time to think and him time to think on how to make it up to him.

The werewolf found himself in the kitchen pacing back and forth. He couldn't read any of his books, his mind kept wandering back to harry and he didn't dare go into the living room for Sirius was asleep in one of the chairs. The last thing he needed was to worry Sirius with all of this, it would only just distracted him for the conversation he had to have with harry soon.

Eventually he registered that he was in kitchen with nowhere else to go so for the time being he might as well use this to his advantage. He was planning on cooking harry his favorite thing, the only issue being he didn't know what that was. Remus mentally cursed himself for not knowing something as simple as that.

So he decided why not make whatever was in the fridge all at once! He needed something to do, Sirius was always hungry, and maybe just maybe it would get him and harry on speaking terms again.

He understood that it was a long shot but then again he had never dealt with an abused child so he was willing to try anything. He hoped deep down that harry could see it as the loving gesture that it was and that would get them talking.

And with that he began to gloomily get started on his project. At the moment however Hedwig came up the window and tapped loudly with her claw to get him to open it.

"Thank you Hedwig."

She let him untie from her leg a rather large package that had the Hogwarts crest on it. Once he was finished she flew right back outside and perched on a nearby tree.

Attached to this package was a note.

**Dear Remus & Sirius**

**This is what you will be needing to clean harry's wounds. Please use once a day as needed. Feel free to contact me at any time if there are concerns or questions.**

**Sincerely**

**Poppy**

Cleaning harry's wounds! He had completely forgotten about that! But with all that had been going on around there house the last few days could you really blame him?

He was almost tempted to wake Sirius up so that he could do it now and get it over with. However he decided not to when he realized that harry probably wouldn't want anyone, even if they only meant to help, touching him at the moment.

He placed the box in the dining room so that it would be out of the way. Lupin hoped that he would remember it later but he had so much on his mind he was unsure.

Remus walked slowly into the kitchen again as to not wake Sirius from his slumber.

Once there again he opened up the fridge and viewed what they had to eat. Deciding that breakfast would be nice since technically it was still morning he took out all the supplies he would need to make it a phenomenal affair.

The werewolf cooked on and on without stalling or wasting time. He made it his personal mission to get as much done as he could while Sirius slept on and harry stayed upstairs.

Truth was he was also dreading going up the stairs to harry's room to tell him that he had prepared such a feast for him.

He was scared not of harry but of what harry would do. Would he respond to Remus at all, put up a fight and yell at him for what he had done? Or would he just simply comply and wordlessly head down the stairs.

That would make breakfast, well now technically lunch, a horrid ordeal. Harry wouldn't speak to him even if he tried to make a conversation with him. Then Remus would began to get nervous as Sirius began to question just what had happened while he had been asleep and what was now going on.

He had no doubt that if this all did happen then the tension between all of them would make harry far more uncomfortable than he needed to be when around him and Sirius. And that just might cause the young and still scarred boy to go even further back into himself.

Then the next thing you know harry doesn't want to be around them anymore and asks to live with Ron and his perfect family!

With a bang Remus dropped what he was doing beside him and laid his palms out on an empty space on the counter in front of him. He breathed deeply to get himself under control.

It was a hard thing to do too, each horrifying idea or fantasy of what would happen if he didn't fix what he did was chasing each other around his mind. Each was much more crazy and farfetched then the one that had been before it.

He knew that if he didn't solve what he had done and quickly then there was a large possibility that what he was imagining happening could likely happen. Then the family that he had only just gotten back fully would be torn into pieces all over again! And he knew that if something like that happened he wouldn't be able to handle it this time.

He visibly cringed at the thought of going through what he had went through when he wasn't allowed to be around harry and Sirius was still in jail. Back then the sadness and loneliness seemed to try and consume him.

He wasn't able to get many jobs in the wizarding world seeing as he was a werewolf. That simple fact of what he was also stopped a lot of witches and wizards from wanting to be in the same room as him let alone be his friends. Not everyone in the wizarding world was as open minded as the marauders were.

Being a werewolf was quite a hard thing to hide and even when he tried to something or someone in most cases would tip them off to what he was and in believing that the ministry was right in thinking that all werewolves were insane vile creatures well… it didn't usually need to be said that they would run as fast as possible in the other direction.

While on the friend's subject, it wasn't as if he did not look elsewhere then the wizarding world. He had tried to be friends with muggles also. They didn't even believe in werewolves so they never thought to ask or put together the pieces of how he was never around on full moons and always seemed to be sick.

There was a few muggles back when he was alone that he had been close to. But they didn't last for long. Pretty soon he would always end up comparing them to James, Peter, Lily, and sometimes even Sirius and the pain would be so much that he had to sever all ties with them.

Stopping himself in reminiscing what had been such a painful time for him he forced himself to go back to his whisking of what he hoped would make amazing pancakes. Knowing that he would have to talk to harry very very soon before this crack in the pavement between them began to grow larger and larger.

"Re.. (A cough) Remus?" A quiet voice questioned from behind him. Recognizing the small voice as harry's in shock he accidently dropped the whole bowl of mix and his whisk onto the white tiled floor.

It crashed to the ground and made a rather large BANG, spreading everywhere. Remus saw out of the corner of his eye harry slightly flinch at the loudness of it.

He stared at it only for a moment in surprise that he had been snuck up on when he usually had such awesome hearing as a werewolf. Linking it to the fact that he had been so caught up in his own thoughts he brought out his wand and with a Scourgify cleaned the mess up.

After all that was done he looked up to the owner of the voice that had taken him by surprise.

"Y yes harry?" he managed to get out, still in shock that harry was talking to him at all after what he had done by accident.

"I wanted.. Well I wanted to," harry began but he looked to be at a loss for words.

Seeing his discomfort Remus ushered him, _very _gently, into a chair in the dining room. First moving the box of harry's medical things much farther down the table so harry wouldn't have to fret about them just yet.

He left everything that was in the kitchen where it was for the moment. Knowing harry and the conversation they were about to have was a lot more important than some ruined breakfast dishes.

After harry was settled and comfy in a chair he took one for himself next to the boy-who-lived and turned it towards him to show that he had his full attention.

Remus waited calmly in the silence for harry to make the first move, say the first sentence. He knew that it wasn't a good time to bombard him with "I'm sorry" or force him to talk right away.

Though as the silence went on and on he suddenly felt worried that maybe harry hadn't come do to talk to him about what had happened only hours ago. And that by bringing him into the dining room and sitting him down he made harry feel as though he was being forced to talk to him.

On the other hand harry was mentally cursing himself. While up in his room he had used his abundant time alone to think over what had gone on and to plan what he was going to say to Remus.

Harry hadn't expected to feel the conflicting emotions of fear and comfort when he saw his old defense against the dark arts teacher.

Finding his voice and remembering what he had planned to say harry began again.

"Remus I wanted to tell you that I'm still shook up from what happened this morning."

Remus's heart sank, all the time that Remus had known harry his answer to how he was had always been fine or even brilliant on a good day. So for harry to actually admit to him face to face that he was shook up was not a good thing at all.

"But," that one simple word gave Remus more hope than he ever thought it would, " after thinking and thinking some more over what happened I realized that you did what you did out of caring and not to hurt me."

Remus was unsure on whether or not harry was talking about him looking into his memories or gripping onto him and yelling but when harry went on he took it as meaning both.

"Did you really mean what you said?" the question fell from harry's lips before he could stop it. He hadn't planned on getting to that part just yet. But with Remus here in front of him and the discussion they were having it just popped out.

"What?" Remus questioned back. Trying to think over everything that he had said when harry caught him staring that morning and what harry could possibly mean. For once he was exceedingly disappointed that being a werewolf gave him better things like hearing, and smell, but not memory.

"Upstairs after I woke up and we started fighting," harry paused and worked up his Gryffindor courage he went on, " you said that you looked in my pensieve without asking because you loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy."

Remus was confused for a minute. Up until now he had believed that he and Sirius had done a fine job on making harry know that they wanted him to be cared for.

"Yes harry of course I did, there's really nothing I want more than for you to feel safe and happy around me and Sirius and while you live with us."

There was a silence after Remus answered as harry realized that Remus had completely missed the point of what he was asking. He didn't want to have to elaborate but a part of him, the younger insecure part, really wanted to know the answer to this question.

As quiet as his voice could get harry said. "But you love me?" he began to focus his attention to the large book that was in his hand, he had completely forgot that he was holding it until now actually.

For the second time that day Remus was taken by surprise. He didn't even think that harry would have to question that he did after all they had been through together and all he had said to him.

"Of course I love you harry," Remus paused and he suddenly got very serious, "Did I or Sirius ever give you reason to believe that we didn't?"

"NO! No you and Sirius never did anything that would make me think something like that.. It's just.." he trailed off.

"Just what?" Remus prompted hoping to get Harry to say more.

"I've never actually had an adult that I trust say that out loud or anyone for that matter that I can remember and I've never said it back."

"I love you?"

Harry nodded his head quickly hoping to get off this subject soon. This was something he had never actually said to anyone and I was starting to make him feel uncomfortable as well as embarrassed.

Remus was feeling pangs of guilt and hurt sweep over him, he had never even thought of something like this. He had heard Lily and James tell baby harry that over and over again but harry must have been too young to remember. A sudden question struck him.

"But what about Ron and Hermione? Haven't you three ever said it to each other?"

He couldn't imagine three people who were so close and who had gone through what they had together never saying something like that to each other.

To harry and Remus's surprise a small bit of pink, the start of a blush, began to creep itself onto harry's cheeks.

"We've never really needed to say it and when we did it's always been jokingly never something serious and meaningful like this."

Remus felt his heart swell full of happiness and pride that harry was being totally honest with him. He knew that that did not happen a lot between harry and adults.

"Harry," Remus started and waited to say more till harry looked up at him.

When he did Remus took ahold of one of harry's hands gingerly in his own and was relieved to notice the fact that harry didn't flinch or pull away.

"I love you." He made sure to look just at harry and say his words clearly just as you would in a curse. He knew that this was a big moment for both of them seeing as it had been such a long time since either of them had said or heard something as simple as those three words.

His voice wavering slightly but still loud and harry managed to choke out, " I love you too Remus." Before he had to turn away and take his hand back to wipe away the small tears that were nestled on the corners of his eyes before they fell.

Feeling an odd sense of superiority to his friend snoozing away in the next room that harry had said his first "I love you" to him, Remus allowed himself to smile a small but genuine smile for the first time in a long time since harry's abuse had been told to him.

Once harry had composed himself he started to speak again.

"And I realize that you didn't have much of a choice in the matter of looking into my memories, moony couldn't exactly wait till I was ready to talk could he?" harry asked talking Remus by surprise that he knew that.

"How…" he managed to question through his confusion. A lot of people didn't know that Remus and moony were close to being to separate beings. They just assumed that sense Remus was a werewolf that they would be the same and that moony wasn't another name for his wolf but a nickname for Remus because he was a werewolf.

Truth was that actually they both lived inside Remus. However Remus thought with more of a human's knowledge and thoughts, as he should too, while moony had more of a wolf personality. He looked at what Remus would call his family as his pack and James's son not as Remus would say his nephew but instead the cub of the pack.

They technically were the same person but there had to be some moment where they weren't like when it was a full moon and Remus had forgotten to take his potion.

Though Remus preferred not to get into conversations about this with others since it seemed so simple to his since he had lived with it most his life but so hard to grasp for others who had no idea what it was like to be a werewolf.

"I have a book about werewolf's it was sent to me and after what happened upstairs I thought I should read it and find out why. It was because I'm seen as the cub of the pack isn't it, that's also why you call me cub sometimes."

Harry held up the book in his hands and showed it to Remus and it was indeed about werewolves. In fact the title was even "**Everything you need to know and understand about werewolves**."

Remus nodded slowly to harry at his inquiry's as he looked over the cover of the book. A sudden fear came over him that some random witch or wizard had found out what he was and sent harry this book as a warning to the boy-who-lived as to what Remus could do. If this was true then the ministry just might be alerted if they didn't already know and take harry away from Remus.

"Harry, who sent you that book?" he asked slowly and seriously.

Hoping he didn't scare harry but still scared himself that the horrors of being alone again that he had been thinking of earlier could quite possibly come true after all the progress there family had just made and was going to.

Sensing Remus's worry Harry replied quickly, "Hermione did, and she thought I might want it since I came to live with you."

Relief spread throughout Remus's body knowing that at least for now he didn't have to worry about something like harry being taken away from him because of his furry little problem just yet.

"Were you cooking before I came in?"

The question came out of the blue but Remus was still more than happy to answer it.

"Yes actually I was, I was hoping to make you and Sirius a fantastic breakfast but seeing as it's close to two o'clock that idea is out the window."

"We could always have breakfast for lunch. I'll even help I really started enjoying cooking after doing it for so long at the durselys."

"That would be a wonderful, thank you harry." Remus chose to look over that comment about the durselys wanting nothing to ruin the good mood he was now in.

Sirius awoke to someone above his shaking his shoulder slightly and the scrumptious smells that were coming towards the living room from the dining room.

He had been out like a light for longer than he thought he would be. He didn't even remember falling asleep.

He fully opened his eyes and looked up to see that who had been shaking him was his favorite, and only, godson harry.

"Good you're up, come on then me and Remus made breakfast lunch for all of us." He nodded his head towards the way of the dining room.

Before Sirius could eve start to ask what breakfast lunch was a voice from the dining room yelled out, "Remus and I."

Both Sirius and harry laughed at Remus being so uptight about those sorts of things. Harry had picked up on it from when Remus had been his teacher and Sirius from how long they had been pals.

Harry led Sirius into the room where all the sweet smells were coming from. He was surprised to see so much good food ready and laid out for the three of them.

"You two did this?" he asked in astonishment. It vaguely reminded him of a Hogwarts feast.

"We needed something to bond over." Remus replied with a small glance over to harry.

"What's that?" was the next thing out of Sirius's mouth as he pointed to something under a chair. Luckily harry wasn't paying attention and had sat down to begin to eat.

Remus look over and realized that it was the box poppy had send over that was all they would need for cleaning harry's wounds before they got worse. It had been moved so that they could fit all that they had made onto the table.

Not wanting harry to know and worry just quite yet Remus chose to mouth to Sirius "medical supplies for harry's scars" instead.

Luckily Sirius had learned how to read Remus's lips from when they had been in school or else he would have been totally lost.

Taking the hint that harry didn't know and not to bring it up just yet Sirius didn't say another word and sat down on the other side of harry. Who felt awfully secure by having them both on either side of him.

Soon they were eating their breakfast lunch in peace. Not Sirius however, he kept darting glances as he ate over to the content harry.

He was dreading when he would have to have that painful conversation with him about James. But he knew it should be started sooner than later.


	25. The talk in the bathroom

**So as always I own nothing what so ever, which makes me sad :****L, but it's the truth.**

**I'm sorry it's so short but I wanted to get this out to you as soon as possible since I'm not entirely sure when I'll be able to add the next one. But rest assured there will be more.**

"You doing alright pup?" Sirius asked towards the end of their meal. Harry had begun to slow down and become less talkative.

"Yeah fine (Yawn) just getting tired, I haven't eaten this much in a long time."

That seemed to be a good enough answer for Sirius but not for Remus. He could guess right away from how cruel the durselys were and harry's small size, that he had indeed been starved also.

He was beginning to worry about harry's stomach. It wasn't natural to not eat for such a long periods of time then fill yourself up. There could be some bad side effects involved with it.

The werewolf/ex-professor began to hope that even though he and harry weren't as close as harry was to his dear friend Sirius, that if he was in any discomfort due to that fact that he would be comfortable enough coming to him and saying something.

He understood that the higher possibility would be that harry would go to Sirius. And that was fine, Remus didn't mind that fact at all or get jealous of it as long as harry got the care that he needed.

But he secretly wished that he would come to him instead. As a werewolf he knew a thing or two on aches and pains and how to cure them, magical or the muggle way.

Seeing as he was a werewolf he had to go through the pain of transforming. Then there were the random cuts and bruises he would find on his body when he awoke. The sickness and rigidness also always followed a few days after.

While on that particular subject something that Remus had been meaning to talk to Sirius about popped back into his brain.

"Harry you wouldn't mind if I stepped aside with Sirius for a second to talk, would you?"

Harry looked up sharply his eyes pleading a question that he mouth was nervous to ask. Remus however caught on just by his look.

"No, were not discussing anything that has to do with you or the durselys, just some personal matters that I would rather not bother you with."

Harry nodded his head vigorously in response and went back to spinning some of his food around his plate with his fork.

Even though Remus saw this after everything that had happened in such a short amount of time he couldn't bring himself to comment on harry's manners.

From across the table Sirius was giving his a rather peculiar look. As far as he knew everything was going great and just beginning to look up now that everything was out in the open.

"Sirius," Remus said adding a silent command with his eyes for Sirius not to say anything and just follow.

They stood up and quietly began to walk over to the entryway that would lead them to the stairs.

As Sirius passed by harry he had the sudden instinct to reach out and ruffle his godson's already crazy hair. But thought against it and gingerly withdrew his hand back to his side, hoping that harry hadn't noticed.

They chose to talk in the bathroom, knowing that if harry did sneak up to listen in that one of their rooms probably would be the first places he would go. They still added a small silencing charm just in case harry was as clever as they believed he was.

The bathroom in their house was as ordinary as one would be in a muggle house. There wasn't much magical to the look of it. There was a toilet of course, a bath/shower, and counter with mirror overhead. Blue and white tiles, white walls, and a few small photos, mostly of hippogriffs strangely enough.

It was the little things though that truly made if a wizards bathroom. Like the fact that the mirror had a non-breaking charm on it. The drawers had also been charmed to offer you exactly what you needed when you opened them, so you wouldn't ever have to go through the hassle of searching through clutter. And the tiled floor had a spell on it to stop people from falling when they slipped.

But those magical improvements no matter how much they helped were the last thing on Remus's mind.

"Something wrong moony you old fuzz ball?" Sirius asked trying to lighten the tension in the room.

Half his mind kept reminding him that harry was with them, there was no way something else could have gone wrong. And the other half whispered defiantly that this was harry they were talking about, there was usually always trouble.

Remus although he hated to admit it, had in a way lied to harry down in the dining room. They weren't about to discuss his abuse in depth but he and it were going to be talked about.

He didn't want to say what he was about to… in fact it was breaking his heart but he knew it was for the better.

"Sirius my transformation is coming up," he began.

"So?" Sirius rudely interrupted. Not seeing why his friend had brought him up here to talk about that.

"And I believe," Remus continued on as though Sirius hadn't said anything, "that from now on I should find somewhere to go and handle this myself, you should stay with harry."

It hurt so much on account of moony just getting his pack back after it being gone for so long. Even when Sirius was on the run he still snuck outside and transformed himself into a dog to keep Remus Company.

After a while moony had once again grown familiar with his old companion being back, the pain got better and he no longer felt lonely.

He knew that moony wouldn't like suddenly being alone again and it would probably be much like his first transformation after lily and James died, sad and alone even with the help of his potion.

But he cared far more for harry than he did himself so he was willing to feel that again during full moons so Sirius could stay behind a look after him.

"Are you insane? I wouldn't make you go through that!" Sirius responded. Suddenly glad that there was the extra precaution of the silencing charm seeing as his voice was rapidly escalating.

"Sirius calm down and think about harry. We can't just toss him around to people's houses transformation after transformation! He needs at least one of us around for support and reassurance after everything that's happened even on full moons and it sure as hell can't be me."

The look on Sirius's face told Remus that he was trying to come up with another argument but was failing.

"Look… I know that it's going to be painful but it's also going to be painful if moony knows his cub is out there somewhere without us and missing having us around him."

"But harry would understand Remus! He would know that it's not safe for him to be around during the full moon. He won't mind staying away for just a few nights while we sort this out."

"Would he really Sirius, are you sure?" Remus questioned, "He might not say it aloud but he doesn't want to leave us quite yet. He just gained a family and with him having to relive all that went on at those awful muggles he's not going to be too keen on being separated from us."

"So what are we going to do then?" Sirius asked in defeat. He could tell that Remus wasn't going to give up on his choice. And as much as he didn't like it he knew that he did in fact have a point.

However at the same time he wasn't going to just drop his. He just never imagined that day when he would have to choose between Remus or harry.

Remus though, didn't want him to ever even think of having to make a choice like that, that's why he had tried to make this decision on his own.

"Your hell bent on joining me aren't you?" Remus replied, not answering the question in the slightest.

Sirius could only nod, the pressure of still having to talk to harry about James and figuring this out was weighing on him.

"Ron's house?" Sirius supplied.

"No… not quite yet at least, harry could still start to feel uneasy because of what happened last time we were there."

"Neville's?"

"I hear his grandmother's insane… and she wears the most ridicules clothing." Remus added thinking about when he had taught the students of Hogwarts about boggarts.

They made their way down the steps not bothering to talk to each other. This small problem was turning into some massive confusion, so naturally their minds were preoccupied with solving it.

When they reentered the dining room both were surprised to see that harry was no longer there. Neither had seen him up stairs and they doubted that he would retreat to his room.

Just as they were beginning to believe that he had gone outside they heard noises coming from the kitchen, in confusion they followed them.

Remus and Sirius entered the other room to find that harry had taken some of the dishes from the table and was preserving what food he could then cleaning them.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked.

The sudden loud noises of his godfather's voice caused harry to jump a little and turn around quickly.

Seeing the slightly frightened look on his face Remus was forced to intervene before this got worse.

"He's not mad harry he just doesn't understand why you're doing the dishes."

"Well they have to be cleaned don't they? And I was getting rather bored just hanging around in the dining room."

"Yes they do but that is no longer your job harry." Sirius added coming forward and gently pulling harry away from the sink.

"We have magic harry, that's what we use to do certain things like that." Remus added.

"I just don't see the point in using it for something that I could easily do without it."

"Haven't you been to the Weasleys harry? It makes everything go so much quicker and why not use it if you have it?"

Harry was prepared to argue that the Weasleys needed to use it with so many people going through their house. But after seeing the look on both his guardians faces he knew it better not to argue.

When harry turned away Remus sent Sirius a look that clearly stated now would be the best time to have that conversation.

"Pup why don't you head up to your room, I'll join you up there in just a second so we can have a chat."

This sentence caused Harry to worry more than either Remus or Sirius knew. What could they need to talk about? Would he be sent somewhere else or back to the Durselys?

He knew very well that neither Sirius nor Remus would ever do that to him but he couldn't help it if it passed his mind.

Sharing one last look with each of them harry silently went back to his room, trying to stop his hands from beginning to shake.

"Get the box from the dining room and hurry upstairs, don't make him more nervous." Remus commented. While he himself moved over to the sink and began to finish what harry had started.

"Alright, but why are you doing that?"

"He does make a good point." Replied Remus with a shrug.


	26. A Sirius discussion

**Hey guys! So sorry about taking so long to update but there was a family crisis and this is the first time I've been able to use a computer in a while.**

**But anyway enough of my rambles and on with the show.**

Sirius moved slowly up the stairs a small box filled with what he would need to care for his godson held in his hands. He was trying to take his time in getting to harry's room, not that he didn't want to take care of him just because he was dreading the conversation he knew he would have to have with him when he got there.

He was mentally cursing himself for letting this issue go for so long that it came to the point where it needed to be discussed in depth but this was now what needed to be done. He blamed his actions concerning the problem on Azkaban, it must have done something to his head. Not giving him a chance to grieve James actually being gone forever properly and all that.

He paused outside of harry's door, one hand holding the surprisingly light box and the other posed to knock. This was it, it was time to get all this confusion over with and out of the way.

_This talk is going to happen and then we'll all be on the same page and life can go back to normal_. Sirius thought to himself as he finally put that hand to good use and knocked rather loudly.

Not even waiting for an answer thinking that the noise would be enough warning he opened the door and barged into the room.

It wasn't however the best time for Harry, not that anything inappropriate was going on, but because harry happened to be in the middle of changing shirts. He had been in his pj's all through the incident with Remus and then while making and eating breakfast and he thought it was about time that he got around to being ready for the day.

The chosen one hadn't even had time to put the new shirt on his back before his godfather was suddenly in his room.

Time seemed to stop altogether as neither person in the room could move. Harry had his back to Sirius his head turned towards him from the noise of the knock. The shirt he had planned on throwing over his shoulders was loose in his now dropped hands. Sirius stood frozen staring at the sight of Harry's back having his breath taken away from him.

Yes he had seen the abuse through Harry's memories, in fact he was sure they had been permanently burned into his mind, but seeing the scars and belt marks now in front of him not from a memory and all to real made him want to throw up all the tasteful breakfast he had just ate.

Red slashes covered harry's back some old and the again some looked fairly new. Blue and purple bruises of anger were scattered on what should have been a clear back. Every which way the marks crossed and stood out vividly against very pale white skin, creating an eerie and depressing look. Just the look of them made Sirius's chest ache with the realization that all he had watched was just probably the tip of the ice berg.

Harry was the first to speak through the silence, " Could you close the door?" He figured that what he had desperately wanted to hide was already seen so what more damage could be done?

The request seemed to bring Sirius back down to earth with an unpleasant thud. That didn't stop him though from doing what was asked of him as soon as he felt the shock where off.

"H-Harry I.." Words were failing him. He had no idea how to carry on from here. It had all seemed so simple in his head. Come up the stairs, clean harry's wounds, then have a painful talk about him and his father. Never had he expected this or for him to freeze up at the sight of what those horrid people had done to his pup.

The desperate look on his godson's face made him realize that the longer he stayed silent the more Harry would worry about what he would say next.

"I'm sorry I just wasn't really… ready I guess the word is to see what you had been through." The whole sentence had sounded ten time better in his mind.

Harry just nodded he didn't really understand though but he knew that was just because he had had to live with looking at the proof that the dursleys were evil all his life.

"You wanted to talk..?" Harry prompted, hoping to get Sirius to stop staring.

"Yes. Yes I did thank you."

Harry moved to put on his shirt but Sirius stopped him, "No don't worry about that it has to be off so we can try and heal some of those scars." He motioned to the box he finally remember was in his hand.

He watched as his godson's eyes widened with fear and his face became white. It was obvious that harry wanted no one to go near what was covering his back and front. But soon the realization that whether or not he wanted this to happen it was going to came over him and he nodded slowly, still looking a little nervous.

"Right well.. Will try this on the bed and do your back fist." Sirius said quickly as he hurriedly sat on harry's bed, hoping that this would be over with soon. It was breaking his heart to see what had happened to his precious pup while he had been left to rot in an Azkaban jail cell.

Harry was quick to join him sitting at an angle in front of Sirius so that he could have a easy access to his bare back.

Sirius wasted no time in opening the box and ready over the instructions that had been left from him and Remus by Poppy. He felt uneasy with the tension that was filling his godson's room.

Soon he began his work, careful to follow all the orders he had been given to the letter so that he didn't have to cause Harry any more discomfort.

He nearly pulled away as he felt Harry wince and let out a hissed breath. But he kept with his work knowing it wouldn't be the last time something like that happened seeing as mostly all the scars littering his godson's back looked very red and sensitive to touch.

"Harry I've been thinking that we need to have a chat." He began after some time.

"About what?" The reply was so quiet he almost didn't catch it.

"It has recently come to my attention, well been thrown in my face that I may have compared you to much to James. Making you believe that I sometimes only saw you as him."

The jump Harry gave nearly cause him to hop out of his skin.

Harry's head whipped around to look his godfather straight in the eye, "No Sirius of course not. I've never gotten that idea." he responded adamantly.

"So I've never, not even once made you feel uneasy about you not being James?"

He saw that Harry almost immediately opened his mouth to respond "No" so he stopped him before he could, "Any time at all, it's okay, just tell me the truth bud."

Harry paused for several moments but then replied, "Yes" he then promptly looked down at his feet with a sad look.

Sirius felt his heart drop down to his stomach at the answer. He gingerly grabbed a hold of Harry's chin and turned him to face him again. "Harry?" He questioned, not really sure on what to say from here.

"Only once or twice really!" Harry tried to reassure him. "I knew that you didn't mean what you said to me though and the other time was just because I was upset that you weren't answering my owls. I know that you understand that I look like my father but I'm really Harry, I've heard you arguing about it with Mrs. Weasley."

The last part had come out by accident and had made Sirius's eyebrows raise but nothing more was said on how he could have heard those discussions.

"Well that's good but Harry I want…I need you to know that I have never looked at you and thought nor wished you were James."

"Okay." was all Harry felt he could respond due to the seriousness in his godfather's face.

"No I'm being serious harry," both him and harry felt it best to overlook the obvious joke hidden in his sentence. " I know very well that you are my godson and no matter how much I may miss your father I would never wish to trade you for him. I love you and am going to care for you like a father, I'm not just here to get my best mate back." He made sure to hold eye contact with Harry the whole time so that he point got across.

Harry could feel his throat tighten up and he could only nod at the words that were being said to him.

"Good now your back is done so turn around so I can clean up you front too."

The rest of the time passed by with complete silence. Sirius was focusing on the task at hand while Harry tried his best to process what he just been said to him and work out how he felt about it.

When Sirius was all finished he put what he had taken out back into the box and closed it. The sudden noise caused Harry's eyes to snap open. He hadn't even realized that he had closed them in the first place.

" I'll let you get back to getting dressed pup, come on down when ever you want and keep Remus and I company." Sirius spoke with a small smile gracing his lips. And with that he grabbed the box, gently wrapped his free arm around Harry in sort of a half hug and left the room.

Once out the door he closed it and sighed. Letting all he weight relax on it and ran a hand through his long hair.

He made his way back down the stairs no thankful that what he had been dreading was now over.

"How did it go?" Remus asked him once he joined him in the family room.

" It was very awkward at first but we got it over with and I'm pretty sure my point got across."

Remus nodded and he too than gave a sigh, equally happy that all this small problem was now out of the way and they could move on to the bigger things that needed to be solved. He was brought out of his thoughts by Sirius suddenly speaking.

"He needs something fun moony, something to take him mind off of what's happened so far."

"Did you have anything special in mind padfoot?"

After some time his friend replied, "Think Harry would want to be an animagus?" ,with a sly smile.


	27. Some laughter

** Alright on with the show.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own harry potter**

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea padfoot." Remus cautioned lightly.

"And why ever not mooney, he could join us on full moons! You wouldn't have to hide out somewhere!"

"There are a lot of things going on Sirius!" he took a breath to calm himself down. As he was becoming aware of how his voice was rising in volume. "Things that need to be discussed and figured out, we can't have him thinking that we no longer want to speak with him about the Dursleys."

"But Remus shouldn't he have something to take his mind off of all this madness, at least before we began to question him? Something that would make him feel closer to his father and also is_ learning_ at the same time?"

He knew he had his friend there. Any mention of learning and Remus would be hooked.

"Fine," Remus said with a great sigh, "we'll speak with him about maybe and I say _maybe_ doing something like that when he comes down here."

Seventeen long minutes, that was how long it took Harry to gingerly make his way down the stairs to where his godfather and Remus were.

To Sirius it had felt like a life time, he had been very shook up when Harry hadn't come down right away. Remus probably hadn't been as worried, patient man that he was. That aspect of him had always driven Sirius insane; he never had understood how someone could wait that long from something.

He had stood in the entrance of the living room half in and half out. Seeming to be just waiting hesitantly for either Remus or Sirius to notice him and invite him to join them.

He had observed how Sirius had paced back and forth and then back again in front of the unlit fireplace. And he had seen how Remus just sat, doing nothing important really, just sitting and watching his friend pace. As if trying to will him with his mind to just stand still for even a minute.

Finally tired of being quiet and waiting he cleared his throat. Not too loud to really startle anyone but just loud enough to be heard from where he was.

Surprisingly it was only Remus that turned to face him. Sirius appeared to have made himself so lost in his own wild thoughts that he no longer was paying attention to anything going on outside his head.

Remus looked at him for a second, just for a few small seconds as if he was trying to fully take in everything about the way harry looked in that small moment. Then quickly recovering he sent Harry a small loving smile and with a gesture of his hand motioned for him to come in and sit.

Quickly and effortlessly Harry made his way across the floor and sat down in the chair located next to his old teacher. The room seemed slightly colder than he imagined it would be once he was fully emerged in it. And for a moment he contemplated the idea of pulling the fuzzy blanket that was on the back of his chair off to snuggle himself in it. But he quickly tore that thought from his mind. Right now all he wanted to appear was confident and independent. So completely different from how he was feeling on the inside.

Remus however was still a very intelligent man. He didn't have to have Harry out right tell him he was cold. Though it wasn't really rocket science you just had to look at the boy and see the shivers to understand.

He grabbed his wand that was hiding in one of his cardigan pockets and with a swish of his wrist and a quiet spell whispered a fire began to glow in the fireplace.

The sudden warmth and scene made Sirius hop back in surprise almost falling straight into Harry. Who he just noticed had joined him and his old pal. The surprise and shock on his face was enough to break any seriousness that had previously been holding the room.

In fact it was enough to make not just Remus, who was almost on the ground from laughter, but also Harry laugh too.

Sirius took a minute, at first angry at the noise of his friend and godson laughing at something embarrassing he had done. But as he looked towards Harry and saw the smile on his face and came to the realization that this was the first time he had really truly laughed in a very long time that made the humiliation worth it. He himself even managed to let out a breathy chuckle.

Once things had died down it was time to get back to business.

"Harry there's some things me and Remus wish to discuss with you." He began lightly.

**Alright so it's come to my realization that I've ended most of my chapters recently with someone talking but here it couldn't be avoided. This was all it had time to write so it had to stop there.**

**Okay so hoped you enjoyed and thank you for still reading also I have two big exams coming up and one long research paper to write so I'll try and update soon but I have no clear idea when I can. But there will be more in the near future. Sorry for it being so short hopefully the next will be longer.**


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